Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaybird
How does one over come ones Flesh? I'm 54 been married for 30 some yrs to a women who has let herself go and is well over 300lbs we haven't had relations in 15 yrs other then with my hand. I am hook on gay porn and can not seem to stop . I have been Baptized in Jesus Name and go to a UPChurch my wife will not go to church I got the Holy Ghost 20 yr when in the A/G church I have prayed and fasted both to be free from these lust and for a Refilling but nothing but yet God does answer a lot of my prayers . So tell me HOW DOES ONE GET FREE ......WHAT MUST I DO ? But please be honest as I don't know of a guy who hasn't had a problem with lust "either for women or men" or with JO
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Does your wife know about your gay porn addiction?
Does your wife think that you don't think she's attractive?
Subconsciously, you may have been torturing your wife over the years, which would lead many women to blame themselves, depression, self-loathing, and overeating.
Easier said than done, I know because I too am single, but you have to stop the "m", if it is happening by yourself-- which I imagine it is not happening with her if you are watching gay porn.
Just because you have been baptized in Jesus Name and go to a UPCI church doesn't mean that you shouldn't have issues.
In fact, if anything, once you decided to walk in the Light of the Gospel you have believed in order to honor your God and Savior Jesus Christ, you placed a target on your forehead.
You were attacked and you are at war and it may even seem like this battle is lost. It's not though. You still have the will to live!
You can't stop watching the porn-- not until someone else, other than yourself, becomes more important, more precious, more enjoyable than the high you get from porn.
Maybe you should learn to love Jesus Christ all over again. The love between you and Jesus is something sacred, special, unique to the two of you only and so there isn't a special "formula" of things I can tell you to do in order to show Jesus you love him.
It's something between you and Him. It's something you have, not something you do.
After that, you may want to consider learning how to love your wife again. Now I could probably do a little better in giving you ideas on what to do for this (learn her love language). Even still, your actions would be empty, loving but not truly love, if you simply do not have a love for your wife.
Pray for Jesus to restore your love for Him. He will do that and give you a newer and stronger love for your wife too, when you ask Him.
God is able to open the rose petals of your wife's love again and He will give you the wisdom to decipher what love means to her.
Once she knows your love again, she may start to take better care of herself because she feels better about herself and about you.
A man's love or lack of love can have very strong positive or detrimental effects on her.
The issues you describe may not resemble the issues that any one other person on AFF may have experienced.
But I have experienced failure, repeated failure over the years, in some of the areas you have mentioned. I'm living in greater victory now, more than ever before, but sometimes, I still sin.
That's what your issues boil down to-- sin. Your sins that Jesus Christ has already died for, your sins that Jesus Christ knew that you would commit before He filled you with His Spirit but interestingly enough, He loved and saved you anyway.
I have hope, in Jesus Christ, and you do too. You are not alone.
He loves you and it is not His Will for you to continue to live like this. Neither is it His Will for you to die like this. Abundant life is His Will for you, but your continued sin will lead you to an eternity separated our God and Savior who loves you.
The porn you're watching is fake-- it's not what it appears to be at all! It's a lie, a cruel deception perpetrated by the enemy of your soul and perpetuated by people who don't know, who don't care about you.
Those guys and girls are actors-- some of them doing it just so they can feed their children, or self-medicate. They will all get older, start to sag, not be so youthful and full of vigor. They will look like you, if they live long enough. They are not different from you and you are not different from them. Well, you are capable of love and probably have someone who loves you for the MAN YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, close by. They probably don't. If they do, so what-- you're the one who is suffering, not them.
There are lies wrapped up in porn, lies that attack your own identity, your own self-worth. Don't spend the rest of your life believing lies, embracing lies. Their lies are empty, furthest from the truth, and deadly.
The lies they portray and re-enforce are causing you pain, causing your wife pain, and can possibly lead you to die and go to hell and then to the Lake of Fire.
Weeping and gnashing of teeth, sorrow on top of sorrow unending for an eternity-- that will be your end and eternity if you don't repent.
Deep, incurable loneliness. Bitterness and resentment. Filled with anger and rage-- wanting to blame someone, but eaten up with eternal regret. Weeping and gnashing of teeth, sorrow on top of sorrow unending for an eternity-- that will be your end and eternity if you don't repent.
I want to tell you that you are not alone in your issues.
I want to tell you that you will overcome all of this.
You will overcome, by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony.
Part of your testimony is coming clean with your issues to your Pastor and a few other mature, Christian brothers that will not judge you, but will walk with you through this.
Don't worry-- there are brothers in Christ, true brothers in Christ, that are able to help you bear these burdens. Go to Our Father and ask Him for this too.
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