How to establish authority in marriage?

[nahkoe]

This thread makes me think marrying again might not be so bad. Maybe.

I'll have to admit there's something deep within me that would love to submit to a man who was treasuring and cherishing me.

Too bad my opinion is jaded, and my past makes it difficult for me to believe such a man exists.

Originally Posted by seguidordejesus

Sort of going off of Jeanie's comments on another thread...

How should a man assert or establish his authority or position as head of the household? Obviously he shouldn't beat 'er down every month or so to do that, which is despicable, but it's difficult when you have two strong individuals, even when you both are trying to live as God requires.

Is it the responsibility of the man to make comments like "I'm the boss"?

Should the woman just deal with it and "submit"?

Obviously these are extremes, but how would one tactfully assert what they believe to be their God-mandated role?

[smilee]

Originally Posted by Ferd

On another note. my dad told this story:

many years ago a young man and young lady were got married.

When they left the church in their buggie, not far down the road, the mule pulling the buggie began to act up.

The young man stopped the buggie, walked around in front of the buggie and held up one finger and said very distinctly "That is One!"

then he got back in the buggie and drove on.

some time later the mule acted up again. Again the young man stopped the buggey and walked around in front of the mule.

Holding up 2 fingers, the young man stated "That is two".

when they turned into the drive of their new home, the mule acted up once more. The young man stopped, walked around in front of the mule and said " that is three!" then he shot the mule dead in its tracks.

As he was unhooking the dead mule from the buggie, his lovely young bride said "now why did you go and do that?!?!?!?"

To which the young man stood up, looked her in the eyes and said "that is one!"

Welll, well Ferd, hopefully you didn't try this......lol

[smilee]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

This may not be an excellent analogy; but someone once told me that if you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, she won't act like a nag.

I LOVE THIS!

[smilee]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

This thread makes me think marrying again might not be so bad. Maybe.

I'll have to admit there's something deep within me that would love to submit to a man who was treasuring and cherishing me.

Too bad my opinion is jaded, and my past makes it difficult for me to believe such a man exists.

Well I know how this feels..................

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

This thread makes me think marrying again might not be so bad. Maybe.

I'll have to admit there's something deep within me that would love to submit to a man who was treasuring and cherishing me.

Too bad my opinion is jaded, and my past makes it difficult for me to believe such a man exists.

Originally Posted by smilee

Well I know how this feels..................

Me too, I thank God for the example that my daughter can see in my parents and my siblings, that marriage can be a beautiful thing. I'm glad that I can see it!

[StillStanding]

I'm not sure how it got there, but we have established authority in our marriage!

[LadyChocolate]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Your role is to provide your wife's needs, and serve your family. The way you "assert" that authority is by your actions; not your words. Lead by example, and love your wife unconditionally. The rest will fall into place.

.nothing will fall into place... if they have a nagging, griping wife! lol!

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by seguidordejesus

Sort of going off of Jeanie's comments on another thread...

How should a man assert or establish his authority or position as head of the household? Obviously he shouldn't beat 'er down every month or so to do that, which is despicable, but it's difficult when you have two strong individuals, even when you both are trying to live as God requires.

You make some good points here...beatings should be spaced out at least 2-3 months apart....even if she does not deserve it. But remember to spank her so as to not leave any visible scars....

Seriously I don't think a man can "assert" his authority in that case. She has to willingly give it to him and if he should not take advantage of it. A good woman should know or learn how to make a man feel like a man IMO and a good man should know how to make a woman feel like a woman. He feels strong and his male ego is stroked and she feels pretty and intelligent....I think one area men fail is making her feel dumb and not equal in intellect.

Is it the responsibility of the man to make comments like "I'm the boss"?

If you want chattle, yes and she should baa baa every now and then. If you want a true help meet...someone walking by yourside, you better NOT ever say "Im the boss"...

Should the woman just deal with it and "submit"?

It takes two to tango. He needs to be willing to listen to her opinions and objectively weigh them but she needs to make him feel like he is the head. The question is not her submitting, but who and what is she submitting to? These sort of topics can NEVER be one sided. It really takes both. Then need to work on this thing together. He might not even make a great "leader" but might be willing to with her help....remember she is a help meet. Not a servent.

Obviously these are extremes, but how would one tactfully assert what they believe to be their God-mandated role?

Why does he have to assert it?

[Praxeas]

You all ever watch Men in Black 1? That guy in the beginning really knew how to assert his authority over his wife/slave. She was truely submitted....actually she was broken, like a horse. They never had pleasant conversation. I'd hate to be in a relationship like that were my best friend is probably someone outside of my house and not the wife.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

You all ever watch Men in Black 1? That guy in the beginning really knew how to assert his authority over his wife/slave. She was truely submitted....actually she was broken, like a horse. They never had pleasant conversation. I'd hate to be in a relationship like that were my best friend is probably someone outside of my house and not the wife.

Amen Prax!