Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :) - Page 39

Pressing-On · #**381** 11-12-2008, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Hmmm.

So what would qualify it as an addiction, other than...causing arguments?

I'm going to skip right over using it as a drug, because I don't really understand it, and can't really express my initial thoughts about it on here.

Sex should be fun--not just deliberate (planned) for a "good reason." As long as both husband and wife are happy and fulfilled, I say it is an intimacy builder.

I also think that men do have higher sex drives than women naturally, so it wouldn't be fair to say that they are addicted to sex just because they want it more often. Nor is it fair to say a woman is frigid if she doesn't (want it as often).

The balance is found in couples pleasing one another, and doing what makes BOTH happy--and if that's every night, then I don't call that "addiction."

So...back to my question...what would you call "sexual addiction?"

I don't think it is always true that men have a higher sex drive. Just saying......

I think a sexual addiction is when the spouse is not involved in your mind during the intimacy. Your imagination of other things is driving you in the performance.

ILG · #**382** 11-13-2008, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Hmmm.

So what would qualify it as an addiction, other than...causing arguments?

I'm going to skip right over using it as a drug, because I don't really understand it, and can't really express my initial thoughts about it on here.

Sex should be fun--not just deliberate for a good reason. As long as both husband and wife are happy and fulfilled, I say it is an intimacy builder.

I also think that men do have higher sex drives than women naturally, so it wouldn't be fair to say that they are addicted to sex just because they want it more often. Nor is it fair to say a woman is frigid if she doesn't (want it as often).

The balance is found in couples pleasing one another, and doing what makes BOTH happy--and if that's every night, then I don't call that "addiction."

So...back to my question...what would you call "sexual addiction?"

I am really going to go to bed to sleep after this! I am never up this late!!

I'm not talking about the natural drive differences. If a person does not have respect towards their spouse....in reasonable frequency...in what is done in private....but feels a need to constantly pressure something that is not desired by the other....I would suspecy a sexual addiction. Because this person is not using sex as a means to more intimacy. The sex act is actually causing less intimacy and driving the couple apart.

MissBrattified · #**383** 11-13-2008, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I don't think it is always true that men have a higher sex drive. Just saying......

I agree, but it's probably more true than not.

Quote:

I think a sexual addiction is when the spouse is not involved in your mind during the intimacy. Your imagination of other things is driving you in the performance.

Hmmm. Ummmmm. Okay.

Everytime I think of a response, I have to edit it out because this is a mixed forum. LOL!!! It's really dumbing down my posts.

MissBrattified · #**384** 11-13-2008, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

I am really going to go to bed to sleep after this! I am never up this late!!

I'm not talking about the natural drive differences. If a person does not have respect towards their spouse....in reasonable frequency...in what is done in private....but feels a need to constantly pressure something that is not desired by the other....I would suspecy a sexual addiction. Because this person is not using sex as a means to more intimacy. The sex act is actually causing less intimacy and driving the couple apart.

Okay, I see what you're saying. When the focus is on the act rather than enhancing the relationship. Right?

Pressing-On · #**385** 11-13-2008, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I agree, but it's probably more true than not.

Okay.

Quote:

Hmmm. Ummmmm. Okay.

I answered you seriously. That's what I think it is.

MissBrattified · #**386** 11-13-2008, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I answered you seriously. That's what I think it is.

LOL!!! I added to my post after you responded. I wasn't making fun of you. I just couldn't think how to properly word my thoughts, so I gave up.

Jermyn Davidson · #**387** 11-13-2008, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

Oh, I do think that is why some are discussing it. But I certainly wasn't implying that that is why everyone is here.

I just think it is more prevalent than people are sometimes willing to admit.

I started this thread.

I have admitted on AFF to struggling with porn-- that's why I come here so as to stay away from the other stuff.

The questions I have prompted or come right out and asked, however, have nothing to do with porn.

It has everything to do with boundaries within a Christian marriage, Christians who decide to set boundaries for others and whether or not they have the scripture to back up the opinions they pass on as command.

Maybe the opinions are Biblical commands. Maybe the opinions are examples of good advice. Maybe the opinions are only opinions.

As a single guy who's been taught that it is a sin for OS to happen between a man and a wife, I wanted to see if any one else was as skeptical about that as I was.

I believe I am open minded enough to be shown scripture or even a Biblical concept that would properly address these questions.

For the most part, the language of this thread has been mature and so has the discussion.

Thanks to all that have kept this thread from drowning in toxic waste.

Pressing-On · #**388** 11-13-2008, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

LOL!!! I added to my post after you responded. I wasn't making fun of you. I just couldn't think how to properly word my thoughts, so I gave up.

I know. Some of the issues have merit. It's the answering that gives the trouble. LOL!

Well, I'm out. I didn't realize it was this late.

Have a good one!

George · #**389** 11-13-2008, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I'm quite sure the thread will stop when the conversation is exhausted.

Believe it or not, this is a pertinent subject - there are couples who live in mortal fear of violating some sacred creed, and its senseless.

After 30 + years of marriage, you don't have to convince me that sex is a pertinent subject for couples. The bottom line is the decision is between the married couple and they don't need the opinions of people on this forum who are saying, "No, it's a sin," or "It's ok." That is a decision they have to make. If they are living in fear of having adventurous sex with their partner, they need to get therapy.

You and I may think it is senseless for a couple to live in fear of violating a sacred creed if they have OS or AS, but there are others on this forum who are saying it is wrong. This leaves the scared couple confused and we are not really helping them. They need to seek a licensed therapist. It is not any of the preacher's business to direct anyone's sex life provided it is within the bonds of marriage. Bottom line - the marriage bed is a free place providing the couple are in agreement. It is nobody elses business.

Jermyn Davidson · #**390** 11-13-2008, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George

You and I may think it is senseless for a couple to live in fear of violating a sacred creed if they have OS or AS, but there are others on this forum who are saying it is wrong.

Hey George how are you?

The point you make is EXACTLY the reason why I have asked the questions I have asked.

For folks to have the strong opinions that they have, you would think there would be solid scripture to back up the opinions.