Spiritual Abuse: Fact or Fiction

[COOPER]

Originally Posted by Ferd

Coop, thanks for that. I didn't have you in mind. I've talked enough to you to know that your pastor and you had a good relationship so while, you have come to some conclusions that I don't agree with, I have never seen you as one who did so from a position of hurt. For that I am glad.

I am so happy you understand.

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Subdued

Yes, I've read this thread; and yes, I agree that perhaps some have been bound for years.

But let me ask you this, is there ever a time where a wound that has not healed properly or appropriately needs to be re-opened to allow for proper healing?

I don't believe in coddling which unnecessarily prolongs the pain. But I do believe in allowing a person to experience the entire process of healing. What that process is differs from person to person, injury to injury; even the same injury differs from person to person. It's a judgement call in every instance, I believe. Like I stated before, one size does not fit all.

That is exactly what I am experiencing now. I didn't dwell on the my hurt when it happened. I struggled a little bit, but moved to "get over it", I forgave the people in question, slapped a bandage on the area and moved on.

I didn't realize that there was a hidden infection. I didn't realize that all I was experiencing was connected back to that incident. Most of all, I didn't realize how what happened warped my concept of God, the church, and His Word.

ONLY, when I came to that understanding could I begin to address the infection and find complete healing. (Which is where I am now)

[Felicity]

Scripture gives us all that we need to understand and properly deal with emotional hurt and even abuse. If we will ........

• Apply what the Word of God says i.e. OBEDIENCE
  
  
• Spend time with God in prayer and allow Him to minister to us and
  
  
• Make the right choices i.e. making up our minds (over and over again ) to forgive the offense and the hurt and move on

.... then we have 3 very important keys to wellness and wholeness as far as I'm concerned.

With God nothing is impossible but often times (not always) willfulness and stubbornness is part of the reason people stay stuck and mired down in despondency and depression nursing hurt and grudges much longer than need be. They live inwardly unhappy and unfulfilled because they simply will not let go and take the steps necessary for healing and wellness.

God is able to set His children free from emotional bondage and baggage! That's what He wants for you!

• Then you can live without the weight of that dragging and pulling on you and pulling you down.
  
  
• Then you can have a testimony that can be shared with others how making the right choices with the help of the Lord makes it possible to live a full, abundant life.
  
  
• Then you're able to be an inspiration, an encouragement, a help and a strength to others.

It's God's will that we live whole and free, that we live an abundant life in Him. His Word tells us to cast down wrong thinking and to make our thinking and our minds subject to His Word and to His will.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Subdued

I do want to point out again, though; that even the "expert" wrongly predicted the timeframe in which my daughter would be fully recovered. No, I doubt it would take a person 20 years to heal - however, sometimes, it seems that certain wounds, though healed, still negatively affect a person years later. Not in every case; not even in most cases - but there are times.

Your story of your daughters injury is very instructive, it even caused Bro. Epley to dig deep and to explain.

The truth is we all agree in more areas than we disagree it is just hard for us to admit it. Spiritual abuse that proceeds from an evil heart or that is unintentional is painful none the less. However, we can all take comfort, for when our hearts are turned toward and seeking the Lord, and acknowledging Him in all our ways, He will direct our paths, and work things out for our good. He will not let anything touch us except that which brings growth in us and glory to Himself.

[tbpew]

Originally Posted by Rico

I've got some news for you. I have never lied to a preacher in all my life. I have always been honest and upfront with every pastor I've ever had, whether they wanted me to be or not. I don't believe in putting on airs and pretending to be anything other that what I am. What you see is what you get, period.

Maybe what needs to be revisited is what God's spirit is guiding you into about the roles of the members of his body.

Maybe he is showing you that he has NOT appointed RULERS over you, lords, or masters.

Maybe he is showing you that we are a nation of priests, that he has invited you up on the Holy mountain.

Maybe he is showing you that the vail was rent for you to have direct access to him.

Maybe, just maybe, he is inviting you to be a part of a body, not a congregation.

I think some people didn't get the memo that the veil was rent... because they feel it jeopardizes their careers.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Michlow

That is exactly what I am experiencing now. I didn't dwell on the my hurt when it happened. I struggled a little bit, but moved to "get over it", I forgave the people in question, slapped a bandage on the area and moved on.

I didn't realize that there was a hidden infection. I didn't realize that all I was experiencing was connected back to that incident. Most of all, I didn't realize how what happened warped my concept of God, the church, and His Word.

ONLY, when I came to that understanding could I begin to address the infection and find complete healing. (Which is where I am now)

That is what I got from some of your earlier posts - that you are healing and re-learning what Jesus is all about... Who He really is. I've only just started to get a real glimpse of Jesus, myself.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by tbpew

Maybe what needs to be revisited is what God's spirit is guiding you into about the roles of the members of his body.

Maybe he is showing you that he has NOT appointed RULERS over you, lords, or masters.

Maybe he is showing you that we are a nation of priests, that he has invited you up on the Holy mountain.

Maybe he is showing you that the vail was rent for you to have direct access to him.

Maybe, just maybe, he is inviting you to be a part of a body, not a congregation.

Maybe He's just showing me that not everyone that claims to be one of His spokesmen is what they claim to be and that I need to be more careful about who I believe and don't believe.

Anyway, I am waiting to see what happens next. We may end up going to a UPC church here in town, mainly because of a promise I made to my son about not changing high schools on him once he started. I've talked with this pastor a couple of times and there are some things he and I agree on, even though he doesn't preach them to the church in general. I'm not too crazy about their style of worship but I can't see letting that be a reason for us not attending there, at least until my son graduates.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Felicity

Scripture gives us all that we need to understand and properly deal with emotional hurt and even abuse. If we will ........

• Apply what the Word of God says i.e. OBEDIENCE
• Spend time with God in prayer and allow Him to minister to us and
• Make the right choices i.e. making up our minds (over and over again ) to forgive the offense and the hurt and move on

Sometimes folks need a bit of guidance, though. The doctor told my daughter everything about her broken arm; the pain that she would feel, how long it would take to heal, what she could expect while healing, how to exercise the arm to get it moving again, etc. But it took my guidance to get her through it.

Originally Posted by Felicity

.... then we have 3 very important keys to wellness and wholeness as far as I'm concerned.

With God nothing is impossible but often times (not always) willfulness and stubbornness is part of the reason people stay stuck and mired down in despondency and depression nursing hurt and grudges much longer than need be. They live inwardly unhappy and unfulfilled because they simply will not let go and take the steps necessary for healing and wellness.

God is able to set His children free from emotional bondage and baggage! That's what He wants for you!

• Then you can live without the weight of that dragging and pulling on you and pulling you down.
• Then you can have a testimony that can be shared with others how making the right choices with the help of the Lord makes it possible to live a full, abundant life.
• Then you're able to be an inspiration, an encouragement, a help and a strength to others.

It's God's will that we live whole and free, that we live an abundant life in Him. His Word tells us to cast down wrong thinking and to make our thinking and our minds subject to His Word and to His will.

AMEN! Just want to point out, though; that there is a PROCESS (steps which take time) to healing. But Jesus is the answer and He ultimately brings complete healing; bringing Him glory, giving us an awesome testimony and the ability to be - as you said - an encouragement & help to others.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by crakjak

Your story of your daughters injury is very instructive, it even caused Bro. Epley to dig deep and to explain.

The truth is we all agree in more areas than we disagree it is just hard for us to admit it. Spiritual abuse that proceeds from an evil heart or that is unintentional is painful none the less. However, we can all take comfort, for when our hearts are turned toward and seeking the Lord, and acknowledging Him in all our ways, He will direct our paths, and work things out for our good. He will not let anything touch us except that which brings growth in us and glory to Himself.