Brother VA Guidroz pastord in DeRidder in the 60's. he told the story of a lady that would always testify for a very long time about all her misery.
one time brother G decided to just cut her off so when she took a breath he started singing some song. when they got done singing, she stood up, said "Brother Guidroz I was not finished!" and proceeded to pick up where she left off!
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Well, I was raised Catholic. BUt there was this family that smelled so bad and they had a tons of kids. There would be a lot of spaces to sit open all around them.
Well, I was raised Catholic. BUt there was this family that smelled so bad and they had a tons of kids. There would be a lot of spaces to sit open all around them.
I remember this one family that wore coats all year round.In the hot South La heat we could not understand why.I think its about God making Adam
and Eve coats.Anyway I was over heated for them.
We had a mentally deficient man whose family (who were not all there, either) dared him one night to see how much canned whole kernal corn he could eat in one setting. This was just before church, mind you. As the service got to going, so did he. The sound of abundance we heard was NOT rain. The corn came up, and he went down. After rolling in it for a little while, he got up to "run the aisles," painting the walls all the way to the back.
This same man later somehow contracted a "Benny Hinn" spirit -- he fell backwards onto the floor everytime you prayed for hiim. He got to a place that he was coming to the front three or four times a night so you could lay hands on him and he could fall out. One night, I tried to ignore him. We had several folks who had come forward for prayer, and I just acted like I didn't see him. The problem was that he followed me around the front. Finally, I realized I couldn't get rid of him unless I went ahead and prayed for him. I did, and he fell. the problem was that, when he fell, he landed on his back with his head facing the ceiling. Furthermore, his head landed strategically between the feet of a rather large young lady. I can promise you he was NOT in the Spirit. Although he DID have somewhat of a tranquil look as he gazed "heavenward." He lay there until some men finally dragged him out from between the gal's legs. He suddenly jumped up, ran around in front of her, lifted his hands, and wanted a "double portion." This time, I flatly refused.
We had a mentally deficient man whose family (who were not all there, either) dared him one night to see how much canned whole kernal corn he could eat in one setting. This was just before church, mind you. As the service got to going, so did he. The sound of abundance we heard was NOT rain. The corn came up, and he went down. After rolling in it for a little while, he got up to "run the aisles," painting the walls all the way to the back.
This same man later somehow contracted a "Benny Hinn" spirit -- he fell backwards onto the floor everytime you prayed for hiim. He got to a place that he was coming to the front three or four times a night so you could lay hands on him and he could fall out. One night, I tried to ignore him. We had several folks who had come forward for prayer, and I just acted like I didn't see him. The problem was that he followed me around the front. Finally, I realized I couldn't get rid of him unless I went ahead and prayed for him. I did, and he fell. the problem was that, when he fell, he landed on his back with his head facing the ceiling. Furthermore, his head landed strategically between the feet of a rather large young lady. I can promise you he was NOT in the Spirit. Although he DID have somewhat of a tranquil look as he gazed "heavenward." He lay there until some men finally dragged him out from between the gal's legs. He suddenly jumped up, ran around in front of her, lifted his hands, and wanted a "double portion." This time, I flatly refused.
I have never seen any eccentric characters in Penteocst.
Oh, ok so I am lying. Here are a few that come to mind;
1. Lady in a Southern church when I was a teen whose every testimony during testimony service started out with her crying but semi composed. The more she talked the louder she got and the higher pitched her voice got. By the time she was finished I was surprised she was not shattering glass.
2. Older Lady in Southern church who started every testimony by saying "Brother, I too love the Lord".... then would proceed on. I always wondered what she would do if a woman ever led testimony service. This same woman, around the late 1970's, testified that she had read that the police punch your license plate number in a computer and see inside your car to see if you had any of that mary - ja- wanna!!!!! She just knew that 666 was upon us.
3. Man in my wifes church when she was a teen who used the occasion of the electricity going out during altar service to feel something other than the presence of God.
4. This one did not happen to me but I was told this by an elder from up North. He said they had a brain damaged or mentally retarded adult man in their church who everybody knew looked beyond his antics. However a young visiting evangelist had watched the man and decided he was demon possessed and just needed to be delivered. After laying hands on him, pushing and shaking him a lot while speaking in tongues loudly, and firmly casting the demon out of him the man, who had been standing with eyes closed silently through all of this, suddenly opened his eyes looked up at the preacher and grinning said "Didn't work did it?????!!!!!!!"
back in the 70's TFT came to our church to preach a series on the end time. Now remember that back in those days we all thought Jesus was going to come back in the 5 minutes.
well it was the end of the series and a sunday morning he had been going all week and this morning he was going to preach on the Rapture.
he got reved up really good and said "AND IN THE TWINKLING OF AN EYE!" snapped his fingers and POOF the lights in the whole building went out!
you should have heard the prayer! man the place was packed with 6 or 7 hundred people and the whole church went up in smoke. It took almost an hour to get everyone calmed down.
There were some really bad boys in the balcony. The jumped off and were the first to hit the alter.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
One of the funniest stories I ever heard came from a Pastor friend of mine who called me after it happened.
It seemed a young couple had a small boy who thought he HAD to have not one, but TWO pacifiers at all times. He would put one in his mouth and hold the other in his hand. If he ever lost EITHER of them, he would scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum.
During the service one night, the boy misplaced one of his pacifiers. The pastor was watching from the platform as mom and dad both searched diligently for the missing pacifier. They were having "high church" that night, and the dad finally decided to give up and join in the shockamoo with the rest of the crowd. He jumped up and began dancing around. His wife kept tugging at his sleeve, only to have him keep trying to wave her off. Finally, he looked down to see what she wanted and she pointed up at his backside. It seems he had been setting on the missing pacifier and it was now stuck in a most inappropriate place. It had been dangling around as he jumped and shouted.
This kind of gives new meaning to "pulling the plug."
yeah, I met her too! I think we all had one of those..,,,
we had a man in our church a long time ago, who seemed to end up in a wheelchair alot. He didn't like to work and many of the church men said he was lazy. Well, he'd come to church but would not ever get prayed for. The next day they'd see him walking around town or the store. One night during service, he was again in his wheelchair. mind you he's only about 27 or 28. We are having high church and one of the great men in our church starts running the aisles. He runs around back and as he is headed up the aisle, he gets behind the wheelchair and pushes him up the aisle with out notice and takes him upfront to be prayed for, and then finishes his lap around the church. We got a great kick out of that...
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I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
*sigh* I did nothing yesterday.... I wasn't finished so I did nothing again today!
When I was a kid we had one lady in the church that would give a message in tongues every service with no interpretation following. It was inevitable that she would jump to her feet and give a five minute burst of tongues.
One service after speaking loudly in tongues she began to shake her head doing her version of the bucking chicken. She didn't have enough hair pins to hold her hairpiece in place and that hairpiece flung off her head and traveled about twenty feet.
It fell on a poor unsuspecting brother who jumped up and shouted....it was on of the most funniest moments in church. The poor sister had just a patch of hair that stood straight up on her head, which was shocking because I thought that hairpiece was her real hair.
For the first time that sister thought that she had really brought the spirit down when people were "laughing in the spirit" and that brother shouting in front of her. She shouted all over the place for about twenty minutes with that little horn of hair sticking straight up to heaven. Boy, did we have church that night. That sister was one of a kind.
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Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."(KJV)
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." Dwight L. Moody
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