The Sadness of a Testimony - Page 2

Rhoni · #11 04-23-2009, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercy

I thank you all for your words/comments.

I am not trying to "get away" from the testimony, or anything like that. I am just mainly looking for advise on how to handle the residual sadness of reliving a traumatic event....after you've brought it back to the front of your mind. I am ok with being there for my friend. Just wanted to know what others did with the human side of the fallout of rememberance.

Mercy, Everyone is different. I went to therapy for several years to process with an objective professional. It helps to talk about it and work through it one step at a time with a non-involved professional counselor.
Healing is progressive. Blessings, Rhoni

shawndell · #12 04-23-2009, 10:24 AM

Sister sometimes healing hurts,and it hurts bad!!Rhoni is right God uses poeple with the same situation to bring you to a place of healing even to a place where he uses you to help another that is in a simular place!!You know the pain is there but you stepped up to the plate any way and you are helping these poeple!God knows and sees your sacrfice and he will not leave you confortless!!You are his child,and you are special in his eyes,and it is also about you.We cant even walk with out him holding our hand!I love you sis.

Mercy · #13 04-23-2009, 10:30 AM

Thank you Rhoni and Shawndell. I understand what you are saying. I guess I just needed to vent a little. (smile) Trying to understand what I am feeling.

Sinatra · #14 04-23-2009, 11:53 AM

Mercy, It's ok for it to be about you also. You can't shut out your legitimate feelings. In order for you to heal completely, those feelings have to be acknowledged and dealt with.I believe, contrary to what many in the church may say, that it is when we hold these feelings in that we slow the healing process.

When my sister's oldest child was killed in a head on collision, she completely shut down and held it all in, thus becoming an angry and bitter person. I think if she had discussed what she was feeling and how she was feeling, she would have healed much quicker.

I agree with Rhoni, if you aren't seeing a professional, you probably should. I don't think that there is anything wrong with Christians seeking the help they need.

I also agree with the ones who say pray. God, after all is the complete healer and the lover of our souls. He understands all we feel.

However, I also understand that sometimes you simply need another person to vent to and that's ok, too. That's not wallowing, sometimes that's part of the healing process.

Continue being there for your friend. I know it's painful, but that too is part of the healing.

Mercy, somehow, through all of this pain and sadness; God is turning YOUR LIFE into a BEAUTIFUL testimony of His love.

I am praying for you,
Sinatra

Mercy · #15 04-23-2009, 12:14 PM

Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sinatra

Mercy, It's ok for it to be about you also. You can't shut out your legitimate feelings. In order for you to heal completely, those feelings have to be acknowledged and dealt with.I believe, contrary to what many in the church may say, that it is when we hold these feelings in that we slow the healing process.

When my sister's oldest child was killed in a head on collision, she completely shut down and held it all in, thus becoming an angry and bitter person. I think if she had discussed what she was feeling and how she was feeling, she would have healed much quicker.

I agree with Rhoni, if you aren't seeing a professional, you probably should. I don't think that there is anything wrong with Christians seeking the help they need.

I also agree with the ones who say pray. God, after all is the complete healer and the lover of our souls. He understands all we feel.

However, I also understand that sometimes you simply need another person to vent to and that's ok, too. That's not wallowing, sometimes that's part of the healing process.

Continue being there for your friend. I know it's painful, but that too is part of the healing.

Mercy, somehow, through all of this pain and sadness; God is turning YOUR LIFE into a BEAUTIFUL testimony of His love.

I am praying for you,
Sinatra

Sarah · #16 04-23-2009, 01:28 PM

Mercy, you said the accident happened several years ago, but you didn't say just how long ago it happened. Maybe enough time hasn't gone by for the 'raw' pain not to be there. You mentioned losing your fiance'. I would guess that's where most of the sadness you mentioned comes from.

We lost a child almost two decades ago.......and sometimes it seems like it was just a year or so ago. You will always feel the pain, but it does get better.

I'm thinking that you need to continue talking (testifying) to this person, especially if he gets strength from it. Don't try to communicate to him that everything is just fine now, and you don't still suffer. He can see how far you've come, with God's help.

By talking to this person, I would venture to say that it is going to help you to continue to heal also.

Praying for you, and for the person you're witnessing to.

God bless........it will get better!

Mercy · #17 04-23-2009, 01:42 PM

Sarah,

It has been some time, 14 years this past March. But I really didnt deal with it AT ALL until last year. Just ignored it, which was easy to do because most of the focus has always been about the miracle and not the human side of things. Or how much of a "blessing I will be to someone else".

I pray it will eventually get better (as many have said before)....just wondering when! (smile)

Do you think it helped you "heal" because you had someone who could share your grief? I've often wondered if that is part of my "situation", no one knows just how it feels (because there is a lot of other things involved), and it seems like I am doing it all by myself.

Sarah · #18 04-24-2009, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercy

Sarah,

It has been some time, 14 years this past March. But I really didnt deal with it AT ALL until last year. Just ignored it, which was easy to do because most of the focus has always been about the miracle and not the human side of things. Or how much of a "blessing I will be to someone else".

I pray it will eventually get better (as many have said before)....just wondering when! (smile)

Do you think it helped you "heal" because you had someone who could share your grief? I've often wondered if that is part of my "situation", no one knows just how it feels (because there is a lot of other things involved), and it seems like I am doing it all by myself.

If you didn't start dealing with it until a year ago, that explains why you're feeling the way you are now. I hope you will continue to deal with the pain.......you must have stayed in denial for quite some time.

Mercy, I had many people to shared my grief with me, and looking back, I'm sure it helped. But at the time, that didn't even seem to matter.....the grief was just overpowering. My faith and trust in God, even when I didn't feel anything, was what brought me through the ordeal.

Trust me, you will get better. But you have to go THROUGH the healing process. There's just no way around it.

I strongly advise you to find someone to talk to. God is always there, but He understands that sometimes we just need another human to help us.

God bless!

Mercy · #19 04-24-2009, 12:32 PM

Yeah, I am working on "talking" about it. Its just hard finding people to understand enough to be compassionate. Most cant understand the denial I've been in to be able to understand how "Fresh" it is....so I get the "you should be past this by now" speeches, or "its not about me" speeches. So that makes me tend to internalize everything. But I am working on it (hence, seeking out what others do in times like this).

I'm getting there...its just super tough going through it alone. But I am making it. (smile)

Elizabeth · #20 04-24-2009, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercy

Yeah, I am working on "talking" about it. Its just hard finding people to understand enough to be compassionate. Most cant understand the denial I've been in to be able to understand how "Fresh" it is....so I get the "you should be past this by now" speeches, or "its not about me" speeches. So that makes me tend to internalize everything. But I am working on it (hence, seeking out what others do in times like this).

I'm getting there...its just super tough going through it alone. But I am making it. (smile)

I hope you are going to hold that over my head, I did say I was sorry for offending you.