How to establish authority in marriage?

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

She should always submit without question. She should never usurp his authority. For example, if he comes in and wants his supper right now, she should give it to him. If he wants his slippers right now, she should get them and put them on his feet with a little foot rub beforehand. If he yells at her and is mean she should just take it and smile and tell him he's had a hard day.

LOL! You ain't right girl!

[MissBrattified]

LOL!

Listen, sequidor...you don't "assert" your authority with your wife (at least not in the cliched sense) without either sparking a rebellion or breaking her spirit. (neither of which are positive outcomes, btw)

The best thing to do is follow God's Word:

1. Love your wife as Christ loves the church, and gave Himself for it.
2. How did Jesus lead? (Hint: He met needs.)
3. Read the Song of Solomon. Try to be as adoring of your wife as Solomon was of his woman...minus all the other girls in his harem, and the tendency to worship false gods.
4. Read a couple of good books on the subject. One I can wholeheartedly recommend (because of the way it changed my husband), is: Four Pillars of a Man's Heart by Stu Weber. Another good one is: Becoming A Person of Influence by John Maxwell.

Most of John Maxwell's books on [church]leadership can be applied to the home.

[Pragmatist]

Originally Posted by seguidordejesus

Sort of going off of Jeanie's comments on another thread...

How should a man assert or establish his authority or position as head of the household? Obviously he shouldn't beat 'er down every month or so to do that, which is despicable, but it's difficult when you have two strong individuals, even when you both are trying to live as God requires.

Is it the responsibility of the man to make comments like "I'm the boss"?

Should the woman just deal with it and "submit"?

Obviously these are extremes, but how would one tactfully assert what they believe to be their God-mandated role?

My husband and I are both strong willed individuals and we had difficulty when we were first married. From my perspective, the more a husband shows his wife that he respects and listens to her, the easier it is for her to submit.

And if it is an issue, set aside a time to sit down and have a non-heated, honest discussion.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Smooch 'er real good ever now and again.

My advice is the best, so far.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

My advice is the best, so far.

Mine was. Follow the Bible. Deny yourself. Subject yourself. Never let yourself need anything. That's God's law.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Smooch 'er real good ever now and again.

This is also very helpful.


A big hug can go a long way toward diffusing anger and resentment.

There are times when I have a knee-jerk reaction to something my husband says, but if he will leave me alone and let me mull things over and think it through, and then get back with him, I usually come around, even when I'm feeling particularly stubborn.

On the other hand, if he demands and asserts and yells and basically acts like a cave man, then...welllll.

[Nahum]

I think it's also very helpful when a man decides to be the sole provider for his home. When he does what it takes so his wife can be at home with the kids.

Most ladies appreciate that.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

This is also very helpful.


A big hug can go a long way toward diffusing anger and resentment.

There are times when I have a knee-jerk reaction to something my husband says, but if he will leave me alone and let me mull things over and think it through, and then get back with him, I usually come around, even when I'm feeling particularly stubborn.

On the other hand, if he demands and asserts and yells and basically acts like a cave man, then...welllll.

LOL! Have you ever tried to hug my wife when she was mad?

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

I think it's also very helpful when a man decides to be the sole provider for his home. When he does what it takes so his wife can be at home with the kids.

Most ladies appreciate that.

Thats the way it works at our home.

[RandyWayne]

Thats the way it works at our home.

Except when your wife is the literal doctor of the family and you have no kids.