Spiritual Abuse: Fact or Fiction

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Ferd

if you read his first post, i think it would be more clear. I am glad we can reason together.

Yes, I know his first post said that it took him years to heal. But subsequent posts said that he should have instead chose to have just gotten over it. Therein lied my confusion... which is no more, as he has clarified.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

Please do not be offended but I think you have allowed your thinking to be colored with pop psyco-babble of today's victim culture instead of just standing on the promises and the provisions provided by God in His healing provided for the wounded spirits. No ALL cases are not the same but years of depression are not the will of God in the life of any saint. Calvary and it's provisions does fit ALL. The process is give it to God it might take some time for me to be willing to let Him have it but somewhere if it is not given to God it will become a prison. The purpose of the annointing is Isa. 61:1-4, Luke 4:16-18. Freedom not bondage.

Perhaps you're right about my thinking. I can only go by what I personally know to be true. I believe that God implemented the process of healing. Ultimately, He heals. How much time that takes for each individual or each wound, I can't say. It's not always instant, IMO. I believe that the spiritual parallels the physical; which is why I wrote so much about my daughter's injury and the process it took for her to regain full range of motion. BUT, I'm not an expert... I'm only sharing from personal experience.

[Rico]

I'd like to know who in this thread has been harboring negative feelings for 20 years. As far as I know, there isn't anyone on this forum that has been angry that long or anywhere close to that amount of time. I know that in my own case I was very angry for somewhere around 2-3 years, managed to get over my anger and start trusting again, and then recently found out about some things I had been lied to about and taken advantage of, which has started a whole different firestorm of anger (so to speak.)

[Rico]

Originally Posted by Subdued

Perhaps you're right about my thinking. I can only go by what I personally know to be true. I believe that God implemented the process of healing. Ultimately, He heals. How much time that takes for each individual or each wound, I can't say. It's not always instant, IMO. I believe that the spiritual parallels the physical; which is why I wrote so much about my daughter's injury and the process it took for her to regain full range of motion. BUT, I'm not an expert... I'm only sharing from personal experience.

Thank you for recounting the story about your daughter. You are right, in that we can learn spiritual lessons from things that happen in the natural.

[Steve Epley]

Originally Posted by Rico

I'd like to know who in this thread has been harboring negative feelings for 20 years. As far as I know, there isn't anyone on this forum that has been angry that long or anywhere close to that amount of time. I know that in my own case I was very angry for somewhere around 2-3 years, managed to get over my anger and start trusting again, and then recently found out about some things I had been lied to about and taken advantage of, which has started a whole different firestorm of anger (so to speak.)

Rico that was metaphor not an exact statement however some seem to have had these hurts for a good while and from their tone things in their lives seem bogged down.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

Rico that was metaphor not an exact statement however some seem to have had these hurts for a good while and from their tone things in their lives seem bogged down.

I guess I can agree with you that some people are bent on bashing the church over what they have been through and have no intention of moving on. I know that right now I am still very angry and not interested in trusting another pastor again. That may change though. It's gonna take a lot though, to be honest with you. I know it isn't fair to make someone have to jump through hoops over what someone else has done. In a way what I am going through now will be harder to get over than other hurts I've experienced because at least I can say that the uc pastor I had was sincere in his beliefs and wasn't intentionally lying to me. He really believes part of his job is to micro manage people in their walk with the Lord. Kinda like your friend in Owensboro you sent me to. LOL

Originally Posted by Rico

Brother Epley, you say it took you years to heal. Based on the things you've said to me and others, I certainly have not seen you show much in the way of compassion towards others faced with abuse issues. Just like it took you years to heal it may take others years to heal and everyone goes through things differently. For me it's easier to push all you minister types away than to just "get over it" and start trusting again. Maybe you should think about that before you start accusing people of being preacher haters.

Sometimes it takes years to learn that it didn't have to take years to learn.

[originalsecretplace]

Originally Posted by Rico

I'd like to know who in this thread has been harboring negative feelings for 20 years. As far as I know, there isn't anyone on this forum that has been angry that long or anywhere close to that amount of time. I know that in my own case I was very angry for somewhere around 2-3 years, managed to get over my anger and start trusting again, and then recently found out about some things I had been lied to about and taken advantage of, which has started a whole different firestorm of anger (so to speak.)

The Straw Man fallacy is committed when a person simply ignores a person's actual position and substitutes a distorted, exaggerated or misrepresented version of that position.

Originally Posted by Subdued

It definitely seems that way, sadly. However, I don't know how he deals with real life situations. Hopefully, much differently.

I'll tell ya, I spent YEARS stuck because of being told to just "let it go." I needed INSTRUCTION on how to do that. Thankfully, I never gave up - I just kept pressing on until I found someone(s) who gave caring, consistent guidance. I'm a blessed person, that's for sure!!!!!!!

It all comes down to one thing: forgiveness - forgiving the people and events of the past the way Christ forgave us (and if you don't know how Christ forgave us, perhaps you should look at certain passages that refer to God casting our sins into the sea, casting them as far as east is from west, and choosing to remember them no more). Of course, such forgiveness often requires divine intervention.

[tbpew]

Originally Posted by Rico

I'd like to know who in this thread has been harboring negative feelings for 20 years. As far as I know, there isn't anyone on this forum that has been angry that long or anywhere close to that amount of time. I know that in my own case I was very angry for somewhere around 2-3 years, managed to get over my anger and start trusting again, and then recently found out about some things I had been lied to about and taken advantage of, which has started a whole different firestorm of anger (so to speak.)

Rico,
I only know you from the words you have posted in at a few forums. It does seem (from experiencing your words) that your capacity for compassion and anger are both quite significant.

As your journey takes you through the triggers, discoveries and godly seperation from anger's captivity, please share.

Three years ago I felt inspired by God's wisdom to consider that anger was given occassion based in my application of expectations.

By way of example, the thought God let run through my mind was this; "Why am I so accepting of my neighbors irresponsible conduct with very little reaction, but my wife, with whom I am dependant and often supported by, I can be stirred to anger concerning her actions or words?

An understanding became clear; the opportunity/occassion for anger was based on my preception of expectations.

So the challenge for me and my wife and my children and friends and my brethren is....
1. Who is establishing the expectations?
2. Are they understood and acceptable by all parties involved?
3. Are they established from a motive that is pleasing to the Spirit

If we can approach a spirit that seeks to prefer one another and be subject one to another, the occassion for unrealized expectations will be given little to no space.

just some thoughts....