Ok, Ok...................I am not trying to talk out of both sides of my mouth........But, i will
say that when I decided to leave what some call the Mothership, traditions, etc..you
get the picture.
I was UPC the first 36 yrs. of my life. I am now 39. When I turned 30(having been in
pulpit ministry since my early twenties) I started scratching my head about some of
beliefs.
So. Guess what? For around 6 yrs. I just stayed where I was. Great church. I was
there 20 plus years. I had been in every part of ministry except being actually the Pastor.
I was still preaching the same way I had always preached. I would often talk with some
of my minister friends, who felt the same way I felt. They were just afraid to Rock the
Boat!!!
Got to admit it to you guys. It was tough trying to decide to leave a church that I had
been part of for so long.
But, it made it a lot easier when they ask one of the associate pastors wife to take
her hair down, and put it on a girls shoulder so she could be healed!!!
Oh sure, I talked with the pastor, went through the whole thing of ,what made you
all of a sudden stop believing standards?
I just looked at him..................yep just like that. Keep in mind that my whole family
is in the ministry. Served on the district board. I knew everyone.
So when I made that leap of faith.................I have never looked back. I love my family.
but its not the same. I knew that when I left.
So yes. I knew they would be hurt, I would feel hurt. I would feel like they didnt love
me anymore. But really, they were just dissappointed in me. Trust Me. You can't help
but love a guy like me!! LOL..........
Ok I have never taught the standards to anyone! I teach children and that is up to the pastor and parents not me.
Now on to the original post.
I did not come on here for a pat ont he back or comfort, I came to vent a bit. I would never cause problems with my church so when people email me or call me I thank them for their concern and let it go....This mornign was rough and I had someone telling me that If I leave I am unusable by God and it got to me so I came on here to vent..thats it!
Ferd,mizpeh,jfrog,the legalist..Im fine and I understand what you are saying but PLEASE listen once more...Its not the fact thay they are upset or conerned that is shocking or hurtful but its how they are going about it that. No matter how MANNED up I am...speaking negatively about a member of your church, slamming them at the table after dinner, emailing them and advising them they are on a train to hell is not the CORRECT way to handle their shock and hurt that Im leaving. Its ok to pray for me and my family, thats great and appreciated but keep it at that...
I am glad you understand what I am saying. You have been in leadership. you should know what to expect.
it aint right but it is what it is.
when you come to a forum like this to vent, expect your venting to be challenged.
Be blessed and move on.
PS glad to have you on the forum. if you can take the heat it can be a cool place.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Ok I have never taught the standards to anyone! I teach children and that is up to the pastor and parents not me.
Now on to the original post.
I did not come on here for a pat ont he back or comfort, I came to vent a bit. I would never cause problems with my church so when people email me or call me I thank them for their concern and let it go....This mornign was rough and I had someone telling me that If I leave I am unusable by God and it got to me so I came on here to vent..thats it!
Ferd,mizpeh,jfrog,the legalist..Im fine and I understand what you are saying but PLEASE listen once more...Its not the fact thay they are upset or conerned that is shocking or hurtful but its how they are going about it that. No matter how MANNED up I am...speaking negatively about a member of your church, slamming them at the table after dinner, emailing them and advising them they are on a train to hell is not the CORRECT way to handle their shock and hurt that Im leaving. Its ok to pray for me and my family, thats great and appreciated but keep it at that...
Never said the negative they are doing toward you are ok... I don't like it at all. Keep your head up and simply pray and let God do his will no matter where you are at.
Last edited by TheLegalist; 05-13-2010 at 02:09 PM.
There is nothing kind or caring about letting a grown man act like a kid.
Man your something...do you not read anything I post? You just keep saying the same thing over and over. We have all read your stance...I get it, Im not asking for your pity, I got on here to vent a bit.
You don't know me or the church so it’s safe to do it on here without hurting any more feelings....That’s all man!!
19,
So I have been through this too. I left my UPCI, church a while ago. Now I am back, but there were reasons why I left. When I left my wife chose not to follow me. She and my daughter stayed. Much to my surprise most of it was brought on by one of my in-laws. There was many issues that led to me leaving and eventually it came to if I wanted to stay married then I would have to come back. So I did. Since I came back things have gotten it a ton better. Even since I went back my family that used to be Ultra Con has liberated up a little. Thing that were happening at my church have gone away and things have gotten much better. I am happy where I am. That is not all that common. I really loved the church I was going to when I left.
The reason I said this is that even family at times is willing to cut you to the bone because they are hurt too. Things that were said can't be taken back and they still sting too. But time marches on. I just keep going. If I had stayed at the other church things might have still worked out but I wasn't willing to take that chance. Your situation is different since you and your wife seem to be on the same page. Just know that even though it hurts what people say and do like Steinway said they are doing this out of hurt. Once some time passes and they see that you are the same people and even happier then they will prbably come around. I actually got to the point where I told my family that the things they had said hurt me and they changed. It hurt them that it hurt me. So perhaps telling them the damage they are causing to you will open their eyes to what they are doing. Truth is that if they are true friends they will listen and if you are true friends to them then you should feel obligated to talk to them. Just some thoughts.
Keep on Keeping on.
__________________
"If we don't learn to live together we're gonna die alone"
Jack Shephard.
Ok I have never taught the standards to anyone! I teach children and that is up to the pastor and parents not me.
Now on to the original post.
I did not come on here for a pat ont he back or comfort, what's so wrong if you DID want a pat on the back and a little comfort???? I came to vent a bit. I would never cause problems with my church so when people email me or call me I thank them for their concern and let it go....This mornign was rough and I had someone telling me that If I leave I am unusable by God and it got to me so I came on here to vent..thats it! In other's experience, this isn't uncommon, sadly. And even if you had heard of this before, it's shocking on a whole new level when it's happening to you
Ferd,mizpeh,jfrog,the legalist..Im fine and I understand what you are saying but PLEASE listen once more...Its not the fact thay they are upset or conerned that is shocking or hurtful but its how they are going about it that. No matter how MANNED up I am...speaking negatively about a member of your church, slamming them at the table after dinner, emailing them and advising them they are on a train to hell is not the CORRECT way to handle their shock and hurt that Im leaving. Its ok to pray for me and my family, thats great and appreciated but keep it at that...
Ferd will just say your childish for even voicing your concerns and feelings.
Save your breath.
Fact is, both he and Mizpeh questioned the credibility of your post to begin with. That was the real issue.
Ok, Ok...................I am not trying to talk out of both sides of my mouth........But, i will
say that when I decided to leave what some call the Mothership, traditions, etc..you
get the picture.
I was UPC the first 36 yrs. of my life. I am now 39. When I turned 30(having been in
pulpit ministry since my early twenties) I started scratching my head about some of
beliefs.
So. Guess what? For around 6 yrs. I just stayed where I was. Great church. I was
there 20 plus years. I had been in every part of ministry except being actually the Pastor.
I was still preaching the same way I had always preached. I would often talk with some
of my minister friends, who felt the same way I felt. They were just afraid to Rock the
Boat!!!
Got to admit it to you guys. It was tough trying to decide to leave a church that I had
been part of for so long.
But, it made it a lot easier when they ask one of the associate pastors wife to take
her hair down, and put it on a girls shoulder so she could be healed!!!
Oh sure, I talked with the pastor, went through the whole thing of ,what made you
all of a sudden stop believing standards?
I just looked at him..................yep just like that. Keep in mind that my whole family
is in the ministry. Served on the district board. I knew everyone.
So when I made that leap of faith.................I have never looked back. I love my family.
but its not the same. I knew that when I left.
So yes. I knew they would be hurt, I would feel hurt. I would feel like they didnt love
me anymore. But really, they were just dissappointed in me. Trust Me. You can't help
but love a guy like me!! LOL..........
This is an awesome post! Well said.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
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