HO - that all sounds so familiar. My children have actually gotten to the point where they say they don't care either, but I know they do. It's a protection they have put up to keep from continually getting hurt.
I know that feeling, and used to be that way years ago, but it's been too long now, and I really just don't care. My kids don't even know him.
My brother once asked if I was going to attend his funeral when the time came for him to pass, and I said only if my grandmother was still alive, but if she's gone, there is no reason for me to go.
I doubt he'd attend mine either, and that's the honest truth.
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
While being Christian certainly has helped, I believe the relationship I never had has effected my relationship with God, in that, it's difficult to see Him as my Father knowing that my own father wants nothing to do with me. It's hard for me to fathom having a daddy.
To me your dad has just been one disappointment after another, how could this not affect anyone. Its just easier to see him as some Joe Smuck on the street than to identify him as your father.
Thats why God taking us as his own and being re-parented us to Him is so powerful.
HO I am going to pray that God helps you in this area and that you can experience God as your father. I know if you ask Him to He will help you too. God has helped me in this area and I know he will help you--I will be praying for you and my heart is touched by what you have gone through, truly.
To me your dad has just been one disappointment after another, how could this not affect anyone. Its just easier to see him as some Joe Smuck on the street than to identify him as your father.
Thats why God taking us as his own and being re-parented us to Him is so powerful.
HO I am going to pray that God helps you in this area and that you can experience God as your father. I know if you ask Him to He will help you too. God has helped me in this area and I know he will help you--I will be praying for you and my heart is touched by what you have gone through, truly.
Thanks, Jeannie. It's not something I talk about much, but you are right. He's like a stranger to me.
I'm out of here until late this evening as I have to work, so I didn't want you to think I abandoned the thread or anything. Thanks for your prayers.
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
There is no doubt that he was stupid, but how can you be hurt by someone who's never been a part of your life, yet that lack of participation affects you negatively?
I can totally relate, H1; as my father was not much a part of my life. He and my mom divorced when I was two and I didn't hear from him until I was 16... he wrote me a letter, asking to meet me.
I met him at 18 and we kept in touch & got together until I was 23 or so. Right after my first child was born (my "dad's" first grandchild), we lost touch again.
He stopped calling and it hurt more the second time he walked away than it did the first. Once I became a parent myself, and discovered what parental love was, I became even more angry at him for having walked out & forgotten me. And the second time, he wasn't only walking away from ME, but also his GRANDSON (& son-in-law). Have I forgiven him?? I don't give it much thought anymore. I can't say that I have - but I can't really say that I haven't either. I'm just indifferent.
I won't even talk about my step-dad except to say that while growing up, I've never had a good father-figure. I seldom think of God as being my "Father." Why on earth would I want to do that? It would be thinking of God in a negative light. I can, however, think of God as being my FRIEND. Now THAT is something good & right in my mind!
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Psa 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
1Pe 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Tit 3:2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
I think that when people have been hurt they feel hesitant to reach out in love. Love requires some commitment and it scares some people. Love is a deep emotion. It surfaces from the deep places of the heart.
I'm not sure a lot of people want to feel that. Is it because they are afraid of feeling hurt once again? Are they too ashamed that once that feeling arises they then must deal with the hurt they carry?
I think that when people have been hurt they feel hesitant to reach out in love. Love requires some commitment and it scares some people. Love is a deep emotion. It surfaces from the deep places of the heart.
I'm not sure a lot of people want to feel that. Is it because they are afraid of feeling hurt once again? Are they too ashamed that once that feeling arises they then must deal with the hurt they carry?
Yes. (That was easy to answer! LOL)
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Psa 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
1Pe 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Tit 3:2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Reading the last several post, the issue of fathers.
I was at a womens conference where I heard a woman stand and testify how she was left in a hospital, because her Mother died during labor, no one thought she would live so her dad did not take her home until she was 8 months old.
Her life story was heart wrenching, her father neglecter her, she was motherless and was sent to a convent where she was abused for many years.
During her speech, although she came to know God she always struggled with the thought of "does God really love me?"
I can't help recall this, because of what we are talking about on this thread. I just really feel other people struggle with that question because of the way they were threated by someone (namely fathers here).
We must forgive, but we also need healing as well.
Reading the last several post, the issue of fathers.
I was at a womens conference where I heard a woman stand and testify how she was left in a hospital, because her Mother died during labor, no one thought she would live so her dad did not take her home until she was 8 months old.
Her life story was heart wrenching, her father neglecter her, she was motherless and was sent to a convent where she was abused for many years.
During her speech, although she came to know God she always struggled with the thought of "does God really love me?"
I can't help recall this, because of what we are talking about on this thread. I just really feel other people struggle with that question because of the way they were threated by someone (namely fathers here).
We must forgive, but we also need healing as well.
And some people have to re-learn what it means to love and to be loved.
__________________
Psa 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
1Pe 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Tit 3:2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
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