In a sense, Ferd is giving the real world view. For whatever reason, the people at the church that he left will say what they're going to say, and there's nothing he can do about it but pay attention or ignore it. That is the price one pays when they leave a close knit community like that in favor of something they perceive to be better.
Time to man up and move on, or humbly retreat! There's nothing in between.
Yeah, that's helpful and comforting advice:
Quote:
by the Great Counselor, Ferd Oh good grief. what a silly post!
I am supposed to believe that you have been in leadership in a conservative UPCI church for years now and you are “shocked” that those folks are worried about you since it seems you are “going charismatic”?
Get real dude, you know full well what the attitudes are in conservative circles about those who are more liberal than they are. And if you have been any kind of leader at all, you know the people of your church as well as you know anyone on the planet.
So you are “shocked” because it helps your conscience or you aren’t shocked at all and this is just another chance to “bash the UltraCons”.
He only said he was shocked by how people he loved has treated him. That's it. This whole man up trash is senseless.
You are progressively changing your tone as we go here. And I applaud you for that. Just wish you'd "man up" to your original post. It wasn't in the tenor of one giving advice.
Again, knowledge and existential reality are two different things. Can you understand that yet??? I can know gossip is hurtful. I can experience gossip and be shocked by how hurtful it is.
Ferd hasn't changed his tone since he entered this thread. You don't know Ferd well enough.
__________________
His banner over me is LOVE.... My soul followeth hard after thee....Love one another with a pure heart fervently. Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
To be a servant of God, it will cost us our total commitment to God, and God alone. His burden must be our burden... Sis Alvear
You are progressively changing your tone as we go here. And I applaud you for that. Just wish you'd "man up" to your original post. It wasn't in the tenor of one giving advice.
Again, knowledge and existential reality are two different things. Can you understand that yet??? I can know gossip is hurtful. I can experience gossip and be shocked by how hurtful it is.
Nope. stand by the first post. You can pat him on the back and be sweet and talk bad about the terrible hooded cultists he is leaving.
Im gonna toss cold water on him and yell wake up.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Jeff, this person has been in leadership in a church that teaches standards. That means that he was in a position to teach standards. Possibly that he may have had to sign a paper that he will adhere to these standards. Probably heard that those women who cut their hair or wear pants are out of the will of God and are lost. Now he is leaving (or thinking of leaving) this conservative church. He has spoken to his pastor and even visited another church that doesn't teach standards are salvational. I find it somewhat suspect that he would be shocked that some of the folks from the church he was leaving would consider him backslidden.
He shocked at how they are treating him. Suspect? What's with you cynics on here?
It's not ridiculous. This is a person who is in leadership and is leaving because he/she disagrees with doctrine. A doctrine which is considered essential to salvation. I guess I didn't realize all UPC churches considered these issues ESSENTIAL to salvation. If so, then I stand firmly by my rebuke and "hooded cultist" commentsWhat did he in all seriousness think would come of his decision to leave under these conditions?
It's not what he THOUGHT. It's what he's experiencing RIGHT NOW. Gee wiz.
I'm not condoning those who call him backslidden but I'm not calling them "hooded cultists" either. Who 's the one rushing to judgement? Sure sounds like you do. I don't know the group, but if that's how they treat a brother that leaves, and see their traditions as requirements for salvation, then yes HOODED CULTISTS fits perfectly. Control the group with fear, make people's life's hard and ugly if they leave your little group.
Maybe this person came here to get sympathy and a pat on the back but maybe it is a good thing to have constructive criticism so that he can analyze his motives and see clearly what a honet's nest he has stirred up in his church. CONSTRUCTIVE?? HIS MOTIVES? YEah back to SHAME ON HIM for messing everything up! You amaze me.
Ok I have never taught the standards to anyone! I teach children and that is up to the pastor and parents not me.
Now on to the original post.
I did not come on here for a pat ont he back or comfort, I came to vent a bit. I would never cause problems with my church so when people email me or call me I thank them for their concern and let it go....This mornign was rough and I had someone telling me that If I leave I am unusable by God and it got to me so I came on here to vent..thats it!
Ferd,mizpeh,jfrog,the legalist..Im fine and I understand what you are saying but PLEASE listen once more...Its not the fact thay they are upset or conerned that is shocking or hurtful but its how they are going about it that. No matter how MANNED up I am...speaking negatively about a member of your church, slamming them at the table after dinner, emailing them and advising them they are on a train to hell is not the CORRECT way to handle their shock and hurt that Im leaving. Its ok to pray for me and my family, thats great and appreciated but keep it at that...
Quit! Stop with proving how liberal you are. It means squat to me. You have me pegged wrong, if you think that's what I'm all about.
New convert or old convert, he's a brother. Telling him to shut up and man up isn't appropriate. Over-analyzing, second-guessing and skeptically and emotionless explaining why you're shocked that he's shocked is heartless.
Truth is never cold-blooded and heartless. Please explain yourself.
There is nothing kind or caring about letting a grown man act like a kid.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
I agree with Ferd. Though when you are in the process of leaving it is hard to understand the other side.
The difference in Jeffery's approach compared to Ferds is...
Jeffery is saying yep all those people are just mean and nasty and aren't acting like they should.
Ferd is explaining why those people are being the way they are and saying that they are acting exactly the way they should.
At least thats what I am getting out of it.
A lion is a lion, a tiger is a tiger, a croc is a croc, and a UC is a UC. They are all the way they are. It is the nature of the beast, etc, etc. I agree with Ferd (and you).
I agree with Ferd. Though when you are in the process of leaving it is hard to understand the other side.
The difference in Jeffery's approach compared to Ferds is...
Jeffery is saying yep all those people are just mean and nasty and aren't acting like they should.
Ferd is explaining why those people are being the way they are and saying that they are acting exactly the way they should.
At least thats what I am getting out of it.
Re-read his opening post again. That's not what he said.
And I "understand" WHY as well. But I'm acknowledging his emotion at the moment. It's not about WHY. You could tell me WHY Nazi Germans felt Jews were dogs. I don't have to re-hash all that in every instance. It's just shameful and wrong. End of story.
This guy has close friends writing him off and praying for his soul. He's shocked. If your advice is a kick between the legs and a "MAN UP" bumper sticker, then more power to you.
My soul followeth hard after thee....Love one another with a pure heart fervently. 
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