The Village idioT - Page 12

Hoovie · #**111** 02-05-2008, 05:05 PM

Blessings to the newcomers!!

What an incredible bunch of idioTs!!

John Atkinson · #**112** 02-05-2008, 06:27 PM

This is definately a keeper.

I went to a convienience store back in Dec '05. left my keys in the car, like usual, went in, did my business. and went out.

and got in someone elses car, who also left their keys in,

and drove it home.

an hour later my wife says, "where's our car". In the driveway is a car that is not ours. I drove someone elses car home and didn't realize it. ooops.

I drove the car back to the c-store, ours was there and I drove it home and called the police.

Sho'nuff, the real owners had reported it stolen.

hoo boy..

So, do I win a prize or something?

LadyChocolate · #**113** 02-05-2008, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Atkinson

This is definately a keeper.

I went to a convienience store back in Dec '05. left my keys in the car, like usual, went in, did my business. and went out.

and got in someone elses car, who also left their keys in,

and drove it home.

an hour later my wife says, "where's our car". In the driveway is a car that is not ours. I drove someone elses car home and didn't realize it. ooops.

I drove the car back to the c-store, ours was there and I drove it home and called the police.

Sho'nuff, the real owners had reported it stolen.

hoo boy..

So, do I win a prize or something?

Now that is great!!!

Rev · #**114** 02-05-2008, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Atkinson

This is definately a keeper.

I went to a convienience store back in Dec '05. left my keys in the car, like usual, went in, did my business. and went out.

and got in someone elses car, who also left their keys in,

and drove it home.

an hour later my wife says, "where's our car". In the driveway is a car that is not ours. I drove someone elses car home and didn't realize it. ooops.

I drove the car back to the c-store, ours was there and I drove it home and called the police.

Sho'nuff, the real owners had reported it stolen.

hoo boy..

So, do I win a prize or something?

The prize is that they didn't catch you before you got the car back or you might be serving 5-10.

dizzyde · #**115** 02-05-2008, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Atkinson

This is definately a keeper.

I went to a convienience store back in Dec '05. left my keys in the car, like usual, went in, did my business. and went out.

and got in someone elses car, who also left their keys in,

and drove it home.

an hour later my wife says, "where's our car". In the driveway is a car that is not ours. I drove someone elses car home and didn't realize it. ooops.

I drove the car back to the c-store, ours was there and I drove it home and called the police.

Sho'nuff, the real owners had reported it stolen.

hoo boy..

So, do I win a prize or something?

WOW!!!

That takes being "distracted" to a whole new level!!!

You might just have won the prize!! Wait, is there a prize???

JamDat · #**116** 02-09-2008, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

OK, This is the place to share something stupid you have done.

This is a chance to laugh at yourself a bit - AND - allow others to join in!

ME FIRST

Well... we had this ice storm about a month ago... major ice!

The stuff was about 1/2" thick! All my cars are parked outside in the drive, and I was trying to figure the best method for removing the ice...

So, I get my rubber mallet...

Just thump the ice a couple times and it pops right off! I really got into it. In about 30 minutes I had cleared three vehicles.

So..... about a week later I started noticing what appeared to be hail damage on the minivan...

Closer inspection shows the hailstorm got ALL THREE VEHICLES!!

WHAT AN IDIOT!!!

This afternoon I paid 4 teenagers to shovel my driveway. Two hours later it snows AGAIN. I should have checked the forecast. WHAT AN IDIOT!!!

Neck · #**117** 02-09-2008, 08:25 PM

My huffy bike with the bananna seat.

Well here is the story, my chain kept coming of the spokes near the pedals.

Each time I would get on the bike and start to pedal.

Maybe get 2 times around while pedaling.

In my 11 year old wisdom?

The chain must be loose when I start to pedal.

My way of testing this one out!

To reach down while I pedaled and test the chain!

Well I grabbed that chain and my index finger on my right hand went under the chain and went half way around the teeth of the sprocket.

I flipped to the right head over heels on my bike.

I ended up on the side of the street with my finger stuck half way around
sprocket.

I literally had to reach back and pedal my chain the rest of the way.

When my finger finally feel out the otherside of my sproket.

The blood started to squirt and I started running.

When I came through the front door and ran for the bathroom.

I begged my mom not to tell my 2 brothers....

Well they found out and the rest is history!

I still look at my finger and can't believe I still have the tip...

Neck · #**118** 02-09-2008, 08:41 PM

Ok, My church moment.

My dad is preaching for an un-named minister in the UPCI and well respected.

His church in the early "70's" was in the same city as the Indy 500.

So do you have the picture on who that was?

Well my dad is preaching about the mighty God in Christ.

I am sitting in the second row with my mom and little brother.

My dad is preaching away and making the comment.

We are so blessed even our young children know about this great man.

How he is there whenever we need him and call upon him.

He looks down to me and says, "Son...Son...Nathan...Who am I talking about?".

I responded, "Batman".

Well the entire congregation started laughing and clapping!

Needless to say I was not!

I thought my mom was going to pull my left ear off my head.

No one in the church knew she had a grip on my earlobe....

It has brought laughs all these years later.....

ogatt · #**119** 02-09-2008, 08:51 PM

i was gettin ready to preach a burryin service and the widow came up just before and ask me if i could sing a song before i commenced to preachin. She wanted to hear jingle bells cause it was her husbands favorite songs. Now i dont even believe in christmas but in order to respect the widows
wishes i told her yes.

just before i started preachin things was real quite. I started singing jingle bells jingles bells jingle all the way.

She broke into a sob so loud and stopped me and said "i meant when they ring those golden bells"

Hoovie · #**120** 02-09-2008, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ogatt

i was gettin ready to preach a burryin service and the widow came up just before and ask me if i could sing a song before i commenced to preachin. She wanted to hear jingle bells cause it was her husbands favorite songs. Now i dont even believe in christmas but in order to respect the widows
wishes i told her yes.

just before i started preachin things was real quite. I started singing jingle bells jingles bells jingle all the way.

She broke into a sob so loud and stopped me and said "i meant when they ring those golden bells"

OK... this is probably NOT true, but hey... YOU ARE AN iDIOT!