I can't stand someone!!!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Ferd

i am posting a reply here so you wont have a problem with yourself... if you had the last say here, you might have an issue with yourself, and it is hard to live with someone you have an issue with and I wouldnt want you to have a hard time living with you.

God Bless you Sister Glenda B!

[mizpeh]

But love in the Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.

I pointed out in the chater on Forgiveness that our love for ourselves does not mean that we like ourselves. It means we wish our own good. In the same way Christian love (or charity) for our neighbours is quite a different thing from liking or affection. We "like " or are "fond of" some people, and not of others. It is important to understand that this natural "liking " in neither a sin nor a virtue, any more than your likes and dislikes in food are a sin or a virtue. It is just a fact. But, of course, what we do about it is either sinful or virtuous.

Natural liking or affection for people makes it easier to be "charitable" towards them. It is, therefore, normally a duty to encourage our affections -- to " like " people as much as we can (just as it is often our duty to encourage our liking for exercise or wholesome food) -- not because this liking is itself the virtue of charity, but because it is a help to it. On the other hand, it is also necessary to keep a very sharp look-out for fear our liking for some one person makes us uncharitable, or even unfair, to someone else. There are even cases where our liking conflicts with our charity towards the person we like. For example, a doting mother may be tempted by natural affection to spoil her child; that is, to gratify her own affectionate impulses at the expense of the child's real happiness later on.

But though natural likings should normally be encouraged, it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings. Some people are cold by temperament; that may be a misfortune for them, but it is no more a sin than having a bad digestion is a sin; and it does not cut them out from the chance, or excuse them from the duty, of learning charity.

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbour; act as if you did. [Ferd's: "fake it til you make it"] As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. There is, indeed, one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the law of charity, but to show him what a fine chap you are, and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his gratitude, you will probably be disappointed.(People are not fools: they have a very quick eye for anything like showing off, or patronage.) But whenever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.

Consequently, though Christian charity sounds a very cold thing to people whose heads are full of sentimentality, and though it is quite distinct from affection, yet it leads to affection. the difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or likings and the Christian has only charity.The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he likes them: the Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on--including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning.

Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis (pages 129-131)

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by mizpeh

But love in the Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.

I pointed out in the chater on Forgiveness that our love for ourselves does not mean that we like ourselves. It means we wish our own good. In the same way Christian love (or charity) for our neighbours is quite a different thing from liking or affection. We "like " or are "fond of" some people, and not of others. It is important to understand that this natural "liking " in neither a sin nor a virtue, any more than your likes and dislikes in food are a sin or a virtue. It is just a fact. But, of course, what we do about it is either sinful or virtuous.

Natural liking or affection for people makes it easier to be "charitable" towards them. It is, therefore, normally a duty to encourage our affections -- to " like " people as much as we can (just as it is often our duty to encourage our liking for exercise or wholesome food) -- not because this liking is itself the virtue of charity, but because it is a help to it. On the other hand, it is also necessary to keep a very sharp look-out for fear our liking for some one person makes us uncharitable, or even unfair, to someone else. There are even cases where our liking conflicts with our charity towards the person we like. For example, a doting mother may be tempted by natural affection to spoil her child; that is, to gratify her own affectionate impulses at the expense of the child's real happiness later on.

But though natural likings should normally be encouraged, it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings. Some people are cold by temperament; that may be a misfortune for them, but it is no more a sin than having a bad digestion is a sin; and it does not cut them out from the chance, or excuse them from the duty, of learning charity.

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbour; act as if you did. [Ferd's: "fake it til you make it"] As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. There is, indeed, one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the law of charity, but to show him what a fine chap you are, and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his gratitude, you will probably be disappointed.(People are not fools: they have a very quick eye for anything like showing off, or patronage.) But whenever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.

Consequently, though Christian charity sounds a very cold thing to people whose heads are full of sentimentality, and though it is quite distinct from affection, yet it leads to affection. the difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or likings and the Christian has only charity.The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he likes them: the Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on--including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning.

Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis (pages 129-131)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, Mizpeh!!!! Thanks for your post!!!!!

[RevDWW]

Originally Posted by mizpeh

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends

Do you really think it is easier to love than to like someone? Why?

No it's not easier to love than to like. But we are instructed to love, in the same manner as Jesus loved. Do you think Jesus liked Judas?

[RevDWW]

Originally Posted by mizpeh

But love in the Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.

Agreed!

'Like' is an emotional thing, 'Agape/Charity/Love' is a matter of will.

[Fiyahstarter]

I follow the "love thy neighbor as thyself".

Problem is, sometimes I don't like myself!! LOL!!!