Just Wondering.....

[LadyCoonskinner]

I know I'm opening myself up to get absolutely annilated (sp) but, I really want to know...

On another thread, I stood up for what I believe and "called" someone "out" for calling the experience I have a "cultish practice." As the thread then progressed I was told that the reason I believe what I do is for financial gain, position and power. Also, I went from "Sister CS" to "Mrs CS".

All of this said, I am beginning to wonder why I am taken to the woodshed, and yet the other person is allowed to say and get away with it because they have been "wounded"...well, honestly, I take that as a personal shot, I was wounded.

Many of you may not understand what I have gone through to live the way I do....I've had to fight for the ground I have gained in this wonderful way called the "Apostolic Lifestyle". I was 9 years old when GOD convicted me of wearing pants and did not have the Holy Ghost yet. I received the Holy Ghost at the age of 10 years on May 10th 1981. Bro. Leo Upton was preaching. My parents were not in church both were backsliders and I had to fight to do anything with the church and yet my parents let my younger sister do all sorts of things, and yet I had to FIGHT (beg and plead, actually) to do wholesome things with Godly people.

EVERY day in the summer I was at the church working. My choice. I loved to be in the HOUSE OF GOD even if it was only cleaning, working in my Sunday School class, picking up garbage out of the church yard or helping the older lady and her blind husband who lived behind the church, whatever it was I LOVED it.

I read my bible, studied it out for myself and God gave me a revelation of what the truth was. My mother was extremely charasmatic..(don't shoot me, but it's the truth anyway) she fought me tooth and nail. She would argue her stance and I would argue my stance. I HAD to study and I had to know my word and I had to have it in my heart. I was a bible quizzer, I was invovled in many things over the years.

Many of you think I am an UC ( I don't like labels really, even the word charasmatic bothers me, but that's what my Mom called herself) but actually I'm pretty middle of the road, but what bothers me most is that I am "called" unkind and harsh and that being unkind is my business....well, I take exception to that.

I am probably one of the most kind people you'll meet. I got out of my way to be nice to people who really don't even deserve that because that's one of my "job descriptions" as a pastor's wife. I truly love people and enjoy meeting all kinds of people. I enjoy the fact that we are all different. You may do some things that I don't agree with, but that doesn't make you unkind. You may stand for something that I don't, but that doesn't make you any less a person than I am.

I guess what I don't understand is that when people are bitter and they attack who I am and what I believe in with all my heart...(not because of money or position, either,) I stand up, after reading for months and years, that I and many others who believe like I do, am blasted and called unkind. I don't claim to be "Holier than thou" I am no better than anyone else on this forum. I have been wounded in the house of my friends, yet I am still there.

My experience is NOT up for attack!!! I didn't say this to lift myself up, just background and maybe a little eyeopener for why I, sometimes, tire of the attack on what I believe and come out swinging.

I know I'm probably shooting myself in the foot, but wanted you to know why I take such a strong stand, sometimes harshly, over what I live for.

[Sherri]

Sis. CS, I just want to say that when I met you in Memphis, you were extremely kind and loving to me and Renda, even though we obviously don't agree with your stance on everything. I have never felt any kind of hostility from you, either on here or in person.

I think we've all been attacked and misunderstood on here at times; I know I have. It's an interesting place, for sure.

I highly respect you and what you stand for and believe. I wouldn't want you to change one thing, unless of course God spoke to you and told you to. I want to be open to change too. I consider you my sister in the Lord.

[LadyChocolate]

SISTER LadyCoonskinner:

I have met you and talked with you for just a moment, and I will say your spirit is as kind as could be..... and your post is just "right on"! I admire the stand you take and how you've fought for the right to live right!
Bravo!!!!


Now, I don't understand how people think what you do is for financial gain... that almost makes me laugh when I think about it.... Many people don't see the hurts that a pastor and wife go through... They don't see the tears you cry nor do they ever hear the prayers you pray for others. The ministry gets hurts just as much as saints do..... and many times, even more so.... No, I don't know the specific thread you are talking about so I really have no business commenting.... except to say you are right on Sista!

[LadyCoonskinner]

Thanks Sherri. Coming from you that means alot. Not sure how many will agree with you, but it' nice to hear it from such a wonderful lady!!!

[Norman]

Sis. CS, I don't see anything in any of that to cause you to get attacked. Hold your ground.

[Glenda B]

Lady Coonskinner, thank you for pouring your heart out and sharing yourself with us. You are a beautiful saint of God and it shows.

A lot you have posted reminds me of one of my grandsons who is the only one in his family who is trying to live right and his mom fights him every step of the way. It is so sad when parents don't try to encourage their children to live for God.

[ILG]

LCS,

I very, very seriously doubt you are doing what you do for financial gain. I believe you do it because to the core of your being, you believe in what you are doing.

[Tina]

Originally Posted by LadyCoonskinner

I know I'm opening myself up to get absolutely annilated (sp) but, I really want to know...

On another thread, I stood up for what I believe and "called" someone "out" for calling the experience I have a "cultish practice." As the thread then progressed I was told that the reason I believe what I do is for financial gain, position and power. Also, I went from "Sister CS" to "Mrs CS".

All of this said, I am beginning to wonder why I am taken to the woodshed, and yet the other person is allowed to say and get away with it because they have been "wounded"...well, honestly, I take that as a personal shot, I was wounded.

Many of you may not understand what I have gone through to live the way I do....I've had to fight for the ground I have gained in this wonderful way called the "Apostolic Lifestyle". I was 9 years old when GOD convicted me of wearing pants and did not have the Holy Ghost yet. I received the Holy Ghost at the age of 10 years on May 10th 1981. Bro. Leo Upton was preaching. My parents were not in church both were backsliders and I had to fight to do anything with the church and yet my parents let my younger sister do all sorts of things, and yet I had to FIGHT (beg and plead, actually) to do wholesome things with Godly people.

EVERY day in the summer I was at the church working. My choice. I loved to be in the HOUSE OF GOD even if it was only cleaning, working in my Sunday School class, picking up garbage out of the church yard or helping the older lady and her blind husband who lived behind the church, whatever it was I LOVED it.

I read my bible, studied it out for myself and God gave me a revelation of what the truth was. My mother was extremely charasmatic..(don't shoot me, but it's the truth anyway) she fought me tooth and nail. She would argue her stance and I would argue my stance. I HAD to study and I had to know my word and I had to have it in my heart. I was a bible quizzer, I was invovled in many things over the years.

Many of you think I am an UC ( I don't like labels really, even the word charasmatic bothers me, but that's what my Mom called herself) but actually I'm pretty middle of the road, but what bothers me most is that I am "called" unkind and harsh and that being unkind is my business....well, I take exception to that.

I am probably one of the most kind people you'll meet. I got out of my way to be nice to people who really don't even deserve that because that's one of my "job descriptions" as a pastor's wife. I truly love people and enjoy meeting all kinds of people. I enjoy the fact that we are all different. You may do some things that I don't agree with, but that doesn't make you unkind. You may stand for something that I don't, but that doesn't make you any less a person than I am.

I guess what I don't understand is that when people are bitter and they attack who I am and what I believe in with all my heart...(not because of money or position, either,) I stand up, after reading for months and years, that I and many others who believe like I do, am blasted and called unkind. I don't claim to be "Holier than thou" I am no better than anyone else on this forum. I have been wounded in the house of my friends, yet I am still there.

My experience is NOT up for attack!!! I didn't say this to lift myself up, just background and maybe a little eyeopener for why I, sometimes, tire of the attack on what I believe and come out swinging.

I know I'm probably shooting myself in the foot, but wanted you to know why I take such a strong stand, sometimes harshly, over what I live for.

Sis Coonskinner, I don't understand it either.

No one here knows how many tears I have shed in the last 48 hours while praying about things that have been happening on this forum. My heart just aches that people can be so unkind to each other, all the while, calling themselves "Christians".

I appreciate you for taking a stand.

[LadyCoonskinner]

Originally Posted by Hot Coffee Ms.

Lady Coonskinner, thank you for pouring your heart out and sharing yourself with us. You are a beautiful saint of God and it shows.

A lot you have posted reminds me of one of my grandsons who is the only one in his family who is trying to live right and his mom fights him every step of the way. It is so sad when parents don't try to encourage their children to live for God.

Mine did not encourage me EVER to live for God. They would have rather had me doing the things that my sister did as to not to "convict" them in their lifestyle. I didn't convict them, the life that I lived did. I tried not to be judgemental. They would laugh and mock me and what I stood for and then would ground me from church and church activities when my little sister would go carousing and partying and drinking and Lord know what else. Now they look back and regret and feel ashamed for that, but oh well, life goes on.

[Michael Phelps]

LCS, I am an obvious, self-admitted liberal, but I totally agree with what Sherri and others have said on this thread. I have never met you, but from your posts, I perceive that you are one of the kindest and gentlest people on this forum, and you have a godly spirit.

I have sparred with your husband on occasion, but still find him to be a man of impeccable character and conviction, and I respect him immensely too.

I understand the passion from which you speak, and I also understand that of all people who may be in the ministry for financial gain and power, you and your husband are the too folks that I would LEAST think have anything at all like that in mind.

It's obvious that you folks are in the ministry because you care for people.

I understand that Rhoni's experiences in life may have brought her in contact with some cultish practices in the Apostolic church - so have mine. I, however, realize that the entire Apostolic church, including the UPCI is not like the lunatic fringe that exists in not only their ranks, but in ANY organization. I hope that Rhoni one day realizes that and truly can let go of the hurts of the past.

I'm not taking sides here at all, other than to say that I respect and appreciate you very much, and I hope that you will never completely leave this forum, because we are all enriched by your wisdom and kindness.