The Godly House-Wife

[Esaias]

Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; (4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

"Keepers at home" -

G3626
οἰκουρός, όν,
(οὖρος B)
I watching or keeping the house, of a watch-dog, Ar. V. 970; of a cock, Plu. 2.998b; οἰ. ὄφις, of the sacred serpent in the Acropolis, Ar. Lys. 759, Phylarch. 72 J., Hsch.
II
1. keeping at home: as Subst., οἰκουρός, ἡ, mistress of the house, housekeeper, S. Fr. 487, E. Hec. 1277: as Adj., Id. HF 45 (masc.); ἡ θεὸς ἡ καλουμένη οἰ. PLond. 1.125v. 11 (v A.D.); used in praise of a good wife, Ph. 2.431, D.C. 56.3.
2. contemptuously of a man, stay-at-home, opp. one who goes forth to war, λέοντ' ἄναλκιν.. οἰκουρόν A. Ag. 1225, cf. 1626, Din. 1.82; τὸν ὑγρὸν τοῦτον καὶ οἰ. Plu. 2.751a; δίαιτα οἰ. καὶ ἀργή Id. Per. 34.

"Guide the house" -

G3616
οἰκοδεσποτ-έω,
I to be master of a house or head of a family, 1Ti_5:14.
II Astrol., predominate, POxy. 235.16 (i A. D.), PLond. 1.130.163 (i/ii A. D.), Plu. 2.908c, Ptol. Tetr. 39, Luc. Astr. 20, Vett.Val. 64.8, Iamb. Myst. 9.5, etc.; cf. sq. 11.

It is Scriptural for a Christian wife to be a "keeper at home", one who guards and maintains the house. The term is specifically used derisively of men who stayed home and did not go forth to war. The term therefore clearly is the opposite of one who "goes forth". And that would include one who "goes forth to pursue a career". The idea of the dual income house, where both the man and the wife work outside the home to "bring home the bacon", is unscriptural, unChristian, and humanistic. It was introduced in the 20th century as a means to destroy the traditional family unit and structure, and it has been very successful in doing just that. Traditional Christians however seek to maintain the Biblical family structure, building strong families which will be the basis for a future strong Christian society.

Why is the Christian woman to be a "keeper at home"? It is because she is Scripturally instructed to "guide the house", to be an "oikodespotes", to "oikodespotein". Which means literally to be despot of the house. The woman, while under the authority of the husband, is nevertheless the despot of the house. She is the Mistress of the domestic sphere and all it entails. To get an idea of how this actually works, a quick look at Abraham and Sarah will suffice:

Genesis 16:1-6 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. (2) And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. (3) And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. (4) And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. (5) And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee. (6) But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.

When people read this account they focus on the problem of Hagar, and Abraham being "dumb enough" to go along with this harebrained scheme. And in the process they miss a larger picture, and an important backdrop to the whole episode: Sarah was in charge of domestic affairs. Abraham wasn't relinquishing authority, nor was he abandoning his post. Neither was Sarah usurping authority, she was exercising her rightful place as the Woman of the house (or tent, as the case may be) and making decisions concerning the servant girl.

Now watch this:

Genesis 21:9-12 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking. (10) Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac. (11) And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son. (12) And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.

Sarah decided she had had enough of the servant girl and her uppity boy, so she demands that they be sent away. And God told Abraham to do it. Why? There were certainly Providential dealings of a prophetic nature going on, as we all know. But there is another reason as well - Sarah was in charge of the household under Abraham, and thus had a right to make such a demand with a reasonable expectation that it be met.

This of course doesn't imply she could usurp authority from Abraham. If Abraham had said "no, the girl and her boy stay" then Sarah would have had to bide her time. But it does illustrate that as the "woman of the house" she was second in command to her husband.

A Christian housewife is not just a maid or cook, no different than hired help. Rather, she is the oikodespotes who guards the home, protecting the children by guiding them, managing the domestic affairs.

I will relate an anecdote. My daughter at one time was teaching a Bible study series on "women of the Bible". She said many of the ladies who came rolled their eyes at the subject and were expecting to hear all about how the Bible teaches women should shut up, cook the meals, stay barefoot and pregnant, do what they're told, etc, that the man is the god of the house and king of the castle, etc. They were shocked when they discovered that, contrary to the world's feminist propaganda and lies, the Bible charges women with great responsibility, authority, and power. Far more so than any other religious teaching or tradition in history, and even more so than is commonly hoped for by modern "liberated" couples.

In a common "liberated" and secular marriage, they say everything is "50/50", an equal partnership. But Biblically, this is not true. Biblically, while the man has certain responsibilities, and the woman has certain OTHER responsibilities, and the man is the head of the woman, the woman is Queen of the Household. She is to manage the house in accordance to the wisdom given her by God in fulfillment of the Biblical dominion mandate.

An analogy may be used help to understand how this works. Military doctrine asserts that micromanagement is undesirable. Rather, what is needed is for the commander to develop "commander's intent". This is the broad outline of what is desired to be accomplished. The XO (executive officer) is then given authority to use his wits, training, experience - in short, his wisdom - and determine how best to carry out and achieve the commander's intent. A commander who constantly second guesses his XO and does not allow the XO to make decisions and manage things as much as possible is an officer who is not following his own commander's intent.

Granted, a wife may make a mistake in judgment, and her husband may need to step in. But likewise, a husband may be making a mistake in judgment, and his wife is certainly in a Scriptural position to help him to understand there may be a better way. But in either case, the woman is commanded to be the oikodespot of the home.

When a prospective bishop is required to "rule his household well", that includes having a wife who functions as the Executive Officer in charge of the household, the oikodespot, the one who is in charge of domestic affairs. A man who tries to play dictator at home and micromanage everything is not "ruling his household well", just as much as the man who doesn't exercise any authority at all and serves at an overbearing wife's beck and call.

[Amanah]

Edith Schaeffer wrote a book entitled "The Hidden Art of Homemaking"
which shows how creative and fulfilling running a home can be

https://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Art-Ho.../dp/0842313982

[Esaias]

Revelation 21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

Revelation 21:9-11 And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife. (10) And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, (11) Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;

2 Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

Isaiah 54:4-6 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. (5) For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. (6) For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (33) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Now, having established that Christian women are to be the oikodespots of the house, and seeing now that the church (New covenant Israel) is the wife of Christ, perhaps we can begin to see something about the proper role and authority of the church...

[houston]

Wow! Excellent posts, E.

[houston]

Last night I was watching something...

The guy says, “I’m the head of my house. I didn’t say I was the boss.”

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Esaias

Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; (4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

"Keepers at home" -

G3626
οἰκουρός, όν,
(οὖρος B)
I watching or keeping the house, of a watch-dog, Ar. V. 970; of a cock, Plu. 2.998b; οἰ. ὄφις, of the sacred serpent in the Acropolis, Ar. Lys. 759, Phylarch. 72 J., Hsch.
II
1. keeping at home: as Subst., οἰκουρός, ἡ, mistress of the house, housekeeper, S. Fr. 487, E. Hec. 1277: as Adj., Id. HF 45 (masc.); ἡ θεὸς ἡ καλουμένη οἰ. PLond. 1.125v. 11 (v A.D.); used in praise of a good wife, Ph. 2.431, D.C. 56.3.
2. contemptuously of a man, stay-at-home, opp. one who goes forth to war, λέοντ' ἄναλκιν.. οἰκουρόν A. Ag. 1225, cf. 1626, Din. 1.82; τὸν ὑγρὸν τοῦτον καὶ οἰ. Plu. 2.751a; δίαιτα οἰ. καὶ ἀργή Id. Per. 34.

"Guide the house" -

G3616
οἰκοδεσποτ-έω,
I to be master of a house or head of a family, 1Ti_5:14.
II Astrol., predominate, POxy. 235.16 (i A. D.), PLond. 1.130.163 (i/ii A. D.), Plu. 2.908c, Ptol. Tetr. 39, Luc. Astr. 20, Vett.Val. 64.8, Iamb. Myst. 9.5, etc.; cf. sq. 11.

It is Scriptural for a Christian wife to be a "keeper at home", one who guards and maintains the house. The term is specifically used derisively of men who stayed home and did not go forth to war. The term therefore clearly is the opposite of one who "goes forth". And that would include one who "goes forth to pursue a career". The idea of the dual income house, where both the man and the wife work outside the home to "bring home the bacon", is unscriptural, unChristian, and humanistic. It was introduced in the 20th century as a means to destroy the traditional family unit and structure, and it has been very successful in doing just that. Traditional Christians however seek to maintain the Biblical family structure, building strong families which will be the basis for a future strong Christian society.

Why is the Christian woman to be a "keeper at home"? It is because she is Scripturally instructed to "guide the house", to be an "oikodespotes", to "oikodespotein". Which means literally to be despot of the house. The woman, while under the authority of the husband, is nevertheless the despot of the house. She is the Mistress of the domestic sphere and all it entails. To get an idea of how this actually works, a quick look at Abraham and Sarah will suffice:

Genesis 16:1-6 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. (2) And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. (3) And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. (4) And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. (5) And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee. (6) But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.

When people read this account they focus on the problem of Hagar, and Abraham being "dumb enough" to go along with this harebrained scheme. And in the process they miss a larger picture, and an important backdrop to the whole episode: Sarah was in charge of domestic affairs. Abraham wasn't relinquishing authority, nor was he abandoning his post. Neither was Sarah usurping authority, she was exercising her rightful place as the Woman of the house (or tent, as the case may be) and making decisions concerning the servant girl.

Now watch this:

Genesis 21:9-12 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking. (10) Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac. (11) And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son. (12) And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.

Sarah decided she had had enough of the servant girl and her uppity boy, so she demands that they be sent away. And God told Abraham to do it. Why? There were certainly Providential dealings of a prophetic nature going on, as we all know. But there is another reason as well - Sarah was in charge of the household under Abraham, and thus had a right to make such a demand with a reasonable expectation that it be met.

This of course doesn't imply she could usurp authority from Abraham. If Abraham had said "no, the girl and her boy stay" then Sarah would have had to bide her time. But it does illustrate that as the "woman of the house" she was second in command to her husband.

A Christian housewife is not just a maid or cook, no different than hired help. Rather, she is the oikodespotes who guards the home, protecting the children by guiding them, managing the domestic affairs.

I will relate an anecdote. My daughter at one time was teaching a Bible study series on "women of the Bible". She said many of the ladies who came rolled their eyes at the subject and were expecting to hear all about how the Bible teaches women should shut up, cook the meals, stay barefoot and pregnant, do what they're told, etc, that the man is the god of the house and king of the castle, etc. They were shocked when they discovered that, contrary to the world's feminist propaganda and lies, the Bible charges women with great responsibility, authority, and power. Far more so than any other religious teaching or tradition in history, and even more so than is commonly hoped for by modern "liberated" couples.

In a common "liberated" and secular marriage, they say everything is "50/50", an equal partnership. But Biblically, this is not true. Biblically, while the man has certain responsibilities, and the woman has certain OTHER responsibilities, and the man is the head of the woman, the woman is Queen of the Household. She is to manage the house in accordance to the wisdom given her by God in fulfillment of the Biblical dominion mandate.

An analogy may be used help to understand how this works. Military doctrine asserts that micromanagement is undesirable. Rather, what is needed is for the commander to develop "commander's intent". This is the broad outline of what is desired to be accomplished. The XO (executive officer) is then given authority to use his wits, training, experience - in short, his wisdom - and determine how best to carry out and achieve the commander's intent. A commander who constantly second guesses his XO and does not allow the XO to make decisions and manage things as much as possible is an officer who is not following his own commander's intent.

Granted, a wife may make a mistake in judgment, and her husband may need to step in. But likewise, a husband may be making a mistake in judgment, and his wife is certainly in a Scriptural position to help him to understand there may be a better way. But in either case, the woman is commanded to be the oikodespot of the home.

When a prospective bishop is required to "rule his household well", that includes having a wife who functions as the Executive Officer in charge of the household, the oikodespot, the one who is in charge of domestic affairs. A man who tries to play dictator at home and micromanage everything is not "ruling his household well", just as much as the man who doesn't exercise any authority at all and serves at an overbearing wife's beck and call.

Awesome post!

Can I copy this and send it to a few people?

[Amanah]

I know a Christian couple, the women excelled in Engineering at FIT, she married a guy who barely makes above minimum wage. They decided she would work and he would stay home and raise their children (they currently have 3).

According to the opening post, should this couple feel embarrassed by their arrangement, their arrangement seems very logical to me.

Also, it seems that unless the man can make a decent income, he should not get married?

[houston]

Originally Posted by Amanah

I know a Christian couple, the women excelled in Engineering at FIT, she married a guy who barely makes above minimum wage. They decided she would work and he would stay home and raise their children (they currently have 3).

According to the opening post, should this couple feel embarrassed by their arrangement, their arrangement seems very logical to me.

Also, it seems that unless the man can make a decent income, he should not get married?

My uncle recently asked me why I’m not married. I told him I can’t afford it.
A better approach would have been for the wife to work while the husband became more employable through college or a trade school.

[houston]

A friend recently asked if I think I’ll ever have children.
I said, “I have to get married first. And I’d have to be able to support a stay-at-home wife so she can homeschool the kids.”
He said, “God will provide.”

I think there’s wisdom in my perspective. But one of us has to be wrong, no?

[houston]

Everyone’s more concerned about my status than I am.