Originally Posted by POWERINPRAYER
I had fallen so deep into trouble all i had was pain and emptiness,i no longer knew the way out.i felt as though thats the way life is.
I started smoking weed,drinking alcohol very young,before you know it i was strung out on herion.
I kept getting in trouble cutting school,all i could think of was parties and looking good.i drank until i blacked out.
I wasent supposed to make it!
I got deeper in drugs
i searched for love and i always found pain
i was molested,and rapped so many times.
I wasent supposed to make it!
I went from juvenille hall to jail to prisons.
I wasent supposed to make it!
I od on herion a few times.
I wasent supposed to make it!
I stared using more trying different drugs
paint sniffing,herion,cocaine,acid,booze,weed,kj
to fill what was so empty -yet i always found myself in pools of pain.
I wasent supposed to make it!
I was living with a man who beat me for 18 years
who told me ugly things that stuck in my head
like no guy will ever like you just me.youre a scum bag!
I wasent supposed to make it!
The words stood in my head for a long time.
Why bother going to school your dumb.you'll never be anything!
Its funny how you start to belive others and their opinions become facts about yourself,if for a second you believe you can be somebody you quickly tell yourself you're lying because everyone cant be wrong. Then your goals seem untainable
and you're dreams seem untouchable,i was having a emotional
breakdown.
I wasent supposed to make it!
I od on drugs again announced dead,but my feet were warm so the doctors didnt give up,and i came back to life in a coma for 30 days
i wasent supposed to make it!
I went back to what i knew,drugs and the street life
i was back in prision again this time longer.
I got out and did what i knew,i couldnt take the pain no more
i had six children and i wasent there mother!
I tried to kill myself put two sirenges of herion in my stomache at one time drank hard liquor,mixed other drugs and i couldnt feel anything!
I wasent supposed to make it!
I was arrested again this time i was sent to a drug program in and out.i was programed out...
Finally i got tierd of wasting my life.
So i laid in bed one night and i began to pray for god's mercy
i was released to another program in san jose
i came back to salinas with a 3 year sobriety chip,but i still had a emptiness inside me.
There had to be more in life than just being clean and sober.
I wasent supposed to make it!
Through all this in the devils eyes i wasent supposed to make it!
In a meeting i meant a gentleman,that now today i know god blessed me with him.
We were invited to church by my little brother.we felt something different and kept and kept on going.
Next we were baptized in the name of jesus and married the following week.
I was going to the doctors for check ups and was told i had hip-c
i wasent supposed to make it
so the elders of the church prayed for me,i went back and was told blood test came back negitive.
Then i started filling a sting in my chest i went back to the doctor,i received bad news i was dienosed with breast cancer
i went through cemo/raidiation,i had faith,i have a big mighty god would bring me through this too. So my church and family prayed for me my limpth notes came back negitive.
I wasent supposed to make it!!
God used all this experience to get me ready for my next phase in my walk.
And despite the odds i made it!!!!
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