This week a friend and I discussed the inability to commit to anything at this point in our lives. I have thought about it and for me it is a number of things but primarily a trust issue.
There was a time in my life that every decision I made, every action I took was about how it would benefit the kingdom. I suppose my inability to commit may be because the things I trusted in not only let me down, but my perception was that it/they wanted to destroy me.
My inability to trust is stemmed from this. FEAR: False Evidence Appearring Real. The hurt is so deep that it reappears just at the time I think it is gone/healed. Abandonment and rejection issues often sabotogue current relationships with Pastors, churches, friends, and family because of the TRUST issue.
But it is deeper yet than that: I don't trust God. If He is in charge of everything and everything is always falling apart then just what is He saying to me? Does He really love me? Will He truly never leave me? Does He really have my best interest at heart?
Opinions welcome
Blessings,
Rhoni
Trust, Obedience, and Commitment
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