Originally Posted by OneAccord
.I'm going to try to write this because I want God to have glory in Lola's passing. Gonna be heard, but I'll try. Just got home from the funeral home to a very empty and quiet house. Started crying when I opened the door, and, probably won't stop for a while. Please excuse my mistakes.
On Nov, 24,the day before our 13th wedding anniversary, after receiving news that Lola had 2 weeks or less to live, we had prayed. Lola prayed first. She prayed that the last thing she would see before she past was me, her son and daughter gathered around her.
Then I prayed. I prayed that, as she passed, she would not see me cry. I didn't want her worrying about me, so I asked God to "stay my tears" at the time of her death. And I prayed that, somehow and in some way, He would receive glory at her passing.
On Saturday, Lola began to lose consciousness. I last spoke with her early Monday morning. Her eyes closed and she slipped into a coma. Her last words to me were "I love you, Baby". All day Monday she never opened her eyes. The nurse came and said she would be gone within 72 hours. All night her BP dropped. Her body temperature slowly dropped. She never moved... her eyes never opened.
At 1:00 am Tuesday, I felt it was time. I went over and knelt down and began talking to her. He daughter knelt down and took her Momma's hand. In a minute, her son knelt down and told his Momma he loves her. Then it happened:
Lola's eyes opened. After being closed over 12 hours Lola's, bright blue eyes opened and looked at me, then at Sheila, then at Allen. Then Allen leaned over his Momma and said, "You're free Momma, you can go". She then closed her eyes, exhaled, and slipped through the Eastern Gate.
I didn't cry. As she looked at me, I pointed to my eye, and said "Look, Darlin'. No tears. I'm gonna be okay". About 15 family members saw this. Afterwards, I told them about our prayer. I said "If you ever doubted that God answers prayer, you have just witnessed that He does". Her brother, wept, and said, If this don't make you believe in God, nothing will". Another said we had witnessed a miracle. And we did. God answered our prayers to a "T". She saw us kneeling together. And I didn't cry. But most, importantly, God received the glory.
In all my years of trying to serve the Lord, and, at times, failing miserably, I have never witnessed the answer to prayer as real and tangible as this. We wept in His Presence then, as I do now.
From Day 1 through all of this, God has answered prayer many times. No, its not what I wanted. I wanted Lola and me to grow old together, to sit in our rockers on the front porch and watch the grandkids grow. We have a new one, a grand-daughter- due in May who will bear Lola's name. I wanted us to drive across the US together. We wanted to ride the steamboat in Chattanooga together. We wanted to build a deck on the back of the house. But it isn't about what I or we want. It's what God willed for us. Thats what we really wanted. Why did this have to be His will? I don't know. All I can do is trust that His will is just. And that He is righteous in His judgments.
Yeah, its gonna be hard. I open the closet door and see her clothes. A piece of Kleenex she dropped on the floor that I can't bring myself to pick up. A picture, her drinking cup. A shopping list where she spelled "bacon" b-a-k-o-n. Its not really hit me yet. I don't know what I'll do when it does. I don't know what I'll do without her.
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