For those who want to know...RULES at my church!

[LaVonne]

Originally Posted by The Mrs

LOL...yes, I've seen that show, and I understand.

I also understand why it's almost absolutely unbelievable to her...she knows who we are talking about, but my guess is she is only an acquaintance, not a good, close friend of theirs. I will say this; they are some of the kindest, gentlest, wisest people I know. But it doesn't change their leadership ability. This is how they were taught to run a church, and have gathered through the years what it takes to keep people 'saved'. They put their whole hearts into it. But it doesn't make it right. It's still controlling with cult-like tendencies. I'm sure that if they knew that, they would make changes immediately.

Another factor is, these were not 'set in stone' rules. If you were to go up to their face and ask, 'Do you demand your people to consult with you before they make a major purchase?' I'm sure they'd say no. They didn't DEMAND anything. It all came subliminally through messages. It would be the story of the lady who went on vacation without asking 'permission' from the pastor first who was badly injured in a car wreck. If she had asked the pastor first, and he could have prayed about it, then surely God would have directed him and impressed on him 'yeah' or 'nay' as to whether it would be a good idea or not. He could have saved her from that terrible wreck.

I remember one time one of the elders who had been there for YEARS getting up and saying, 'If you go on vacation, and didn't consult with the pastor first, and you get in a wreck, don't you DARE go calling the pastor and ask him to come pray for you.' At the time, I remember amening it on the outside, but on the inside, I think something died in me. It shocked me and hurt me, but I didn't realize it at the time.

Looking from the outside in, you would never guess these kinds of things were being 'taught'. But they were. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the verse 'Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls'. I trusted them completely, totally, and blindly. Without question.

I think one of the main problems with how things were running when we left was that it bred fear, even among the saints. You couldn't even hardly fellowship with any of the saints in your own church for fear that someone would be offended by something someone did wrong, and even worse, our children molested, or commit adultery among ourselves. These were the SAINTS. Those who you labor amongst. Those who should be your best friends and help through the years. Those who were supposed to be 'holy'. I understand the need for caution, but it went overboard to assume distrust first. Looking back on it now, it really saddens me. We were all such good friends, but it became all very superficial because of the distrust.

This is an excellent point! This is exactly how the church was run. So many times, I heard through others what was expected and what some of the "hidden rules" were.