When a baby is newborn, parents should respond to every cry. Period.
I have never been a fan of the "let them cry it out" theory. We have always had happy, well-adjusted, content babies. None of them were spoiled because they were held or given lots of attention.
That said, you have to identify the
need and meet it. Babies NEED:
Food. Sleep. Attention. Affection. Nurturing. Cleaning. Diapers changed. Sleep. Attention. Food. Diapers. Sleep. Sleep. Oh, wait...the PARENTS need sleep....LOL!!!!!
That said: It is the parents job to properly interpret what the child needs and administer it to the child in a helpful and healthy manner. For instance, you don't want to greet every cry with food...he may not need food every time. You know whether or not he needs food based on the amount of time since the last time he ate, in addition to factors such as growth spurts, etc. You know if a baby hasn't slept in awhile, that they may be crying because they're tired. In my experience, a sleepy baby falls asleep fairly quickly, so if it takes too long, they're probably crying for another reason.
I'm not a fan of everything Dr. Sears espouses, but I do like this quote:
"Pick him up quickly, he'll get down quickly."
Good Article
Crying is the main method of communication from infant to parent. Parents should always listen and respond. A lack of communication WILL create behavioral problems and fussy babies.
As they get older, of course, throwing tantrums becomes an issue, and most parents can tell the difference between a cry and a tantrum. With your children, you will be the experts. A 6 month old really isn't capable of an intentional tantrum. The manipulation and premeditation involved hasn't been developed yet. At 1, they may have it a bit more refined.
I suggest reading, and lots of it.
People have always commented about how well-behaved and sweet our kids are. And we held them and played with them and talked to them and read to them ALL the time.
One other note: If your wife is exhausted, and needs you to take over with the baby for awhile, the answer is not to let the baby cry it out so she can have time to herself. That will just stress her out even more. Take the baby and pay attention to him and hold him and play with him and feed him, and keep him contented and happy for awhile so your wife can rest without any guilt or stress.
When I was a baby, I was so colicky that I cried constantly, and my parents and two of my older sisters had to take shifts holding me and rocking me at night. No one really ever understood the reason. When my son was born premature, the neonatologist informed us that premature infants are more inclined to be colicky, because of their undeveloped digestive systems, and the resulting sensitivity to formulas. Since I was born 5 weeks early, that could have very well have been the problem. I'm glad my parents didn't just leave me in the crib to "cry it out."
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