Why You Should Vote IN FAVOR of Resolution 4

[Kansas Preacher]

Why You Should Vote FOR Resolution Four

I know this will come as a shock, but after much consideration, I have come to the conclusion that voting in favor of resolution four (advertising on television) is in the best interest of the United Pentecostal Church. I will do my best to enumerate the reasons succinctly and straightforwardly.

1. Passing this resolution will bring unity. It has become obvious that those who have continued to vote against this measure are dividing this organization. On more than one occasion, they have said a resounding, “NO!” to what a number of other men dearly want. Their continued stand for what has been is evidently the cause of extreme divisiveness and animosity. They should stop standing in the way of “progress” and allow this fellowship to make this bold new move. By doing so, they will bring unity to the body, thus resulting in unprecedented endtime revival.

2. Passing this resolution will provide an easier method of evangelism. I, for one, am tired of knocking doors. I mean, how many churches have been built by such antiquated methods? Let’s be real – putting together a television ad (or, better yet, a program) will enable me to reach MILLIONS of people. Since the majority of the world has televisions, my ad/program will be all the world needs to start flocking to the UPCI in droves. I can have more free time, since I will no longer have to devote my Saturday mornings to other more ineffective methods of evangelism. In fact, we might as well recall the missionaries. Let the FMD put together ads in the various languages of the world and put them over the airwaves. People will undoubtedly be receiving the Holy Ghost during the time these things air. Since receiving the Holy Ghost is the main focus, by the way, that’s all they need. The Spirit will then lead them into the rest of the truth.

3. Passing this resolution will save us money. In light of the facts presented in the previous paragraph, I won’t have to spend money on things like fliers, door hangers, Bible study charts, OR missionaries! I have been told that cable advertising is as cheap as – or cheaper than – radio. Thus, it is obviously a wise monetary decision to stop wasting church funds on things that are not reaching the world. A few dollars more wisely spent on television advertising/programming will be the last thing I will EVER need to spend money on – it will reach the WORLD!

4. Passing the resolution will purge the organization of unwanted and unnecessary members. We’ve all heard the “whiners” – “If you don’t play by the rules that have you’ve always used, we’re taking our toys and going home.” By voting in favor of this resolution, these people will either “put up or shut up.” Furthermore, I was personally told by a top official of this organization that we “don’t need” men who oppose the progressive agenda of the modern era. We are “better off without them,” he said to me. Far be it from me to be a weakening factor in the strength of this movement. By helping to pass this resolution, I will be able to walk away with my head held high, knowing I am making the UPCI better by my absence.

Well, there you have it. These are the reasons why I am encouraging everyone to vote in favor of resolution four.

By the way, I’m not being sarcastic. However, I have written this with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek.