Bullies and bullying- how close to home is it?

[Sasha]

Jordan was 15, a sophomore in high school. He was a good student with good grades. He lived with his mother and was the youngest of three children. His father was involved in his life and he was a Christian.

Thursday, he took a shotgun and ended his life.

Bullying. His note said he couldn't take it any more.

This tragic story reminded me of when I was young and how I was bullied all throughout school. I remember the anger I felt as a young child that turned to hatred as a teen. Although I never followed through, I often wanted my life to end. But I wanted people to be hurt by my death, which I didn't believe would happen since I felt that everyone hated me.

I never had a good family support system. My parents were divorced and my father didn't see us much. My mom worked and often left us in the care of those who abused us. We couldn't tell because my mom was the kind that believed children always lied and those in charge knew that.

I was never one to belittle others since I was always done that way. As an adult, of course, I know better and my life is a good one.

I have taught my children to never belittle others and never be friends with those who do. I also taught them that they may face children who are mean and hurtful but not to take offense, as they are often taught by their parents on how to treat others.

My oldest daughter was overweight her whole life. I knew she faced a cruel world but let her know she was lovely no matter what, and those who judged her were the ones missing out. She never complained about being made fun of but would comment at times about the stupid boys that might say something to her. But she never let anything get to her.

All of my children are kind hearted to others, and we often speak about how our treatment of others can often lead to a happenstance we might be responsible for. We would never want to be responsible for someone doing harm to themselves when we could have prevented it.

Don't allow your children to bully others. Teach them to understand that someday, they will be your age with their own children to deal with and may face what happens to their own children what they might have done to others as a child.

In addition, be supportive of your children. Let them know how important they are as individuals, and that school is a learning process that goes beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic. It's also learning how to deal with life. People are cruel even as adults, and there will always be those who are less than desirable to be around. We have to learn how to face it.

We are not who we are because of the friends we had or how popular we were in school. Teach self-worth in the home and that regardless of who your friends are now, chances are, once they are adults and time moves on, those kids will no longer be important and in most cases, they will never see them again.

I don't know why Jordan felt that his life was so worthless that ending it was better than facing it, but the children responsible will one day come to their senses and realize the horror of their actions. "If only I had been his friend..." What a horrible thought.

Hug your children. Let them know their life is meaningful and they will be successful individuals with so much to offer others who need them. Ending one's life is never the answer.

And don't be a bully.