UPCI pastor resigns amid teen sex charges

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by scotty

I don't know Renda. That is a question I have been struggling with. They are beautiful girls who get plenty of attention from boys, honestly they could pick from a list if they wanted to. While I do believe that is the issue with some I believe more so its just the world today. As you said perfectly in your post, they equate love with sex. Its ok nowdays, its just sex. And its everywhere, the music, tv, movies, internet and school. They believe they have all the knowledge, freedoms and rights an adult has. They dont believe they should be treated any differently.

But the affection is something they crave. My 13yr old is the "daddys girl". She is very affectionate and loving and always has been. Then boys came along. When she has a boyfriend I rarely see her and have to stop her to get a hug. When she doesnt have a boyfriend she is at the door when I get home and will not pass by me without stealing a hug or just come downstairs and sit in my lap and talk. She knows I am here for her, but when she has a boyfriend then I'm not needed in the equation. So really , I dont know..... I just dont know.

Scotty this is natural with most kids of that age. Puberty is rough. A boyfriend or girlfriend is like an obsession, family is just always going to be there. And if you push for balance with them, some of the time the family loses.

[geekette]

Originally Posted by scotty

This is funny, in a sad sort of way. I have three daughters, 16, 13 and 10. They are hardly "weak" or "disenfranchised". Children today are not like children of our day. They know more and desire more than I ever did at their age. Don't get me wrong, the pastor here needs help, but so does the child. Don't let the term "teenager" fool you, they are smarter and more cunning than you are Apostolic.

Actually, from a legal standpoint, your daughters ARE disenfranchised. They cannot legally vote until they're 18.

(Yes, disenfranchised has a specific legal meaning.)

[ILG]

Originally Posted by scotty

I understand. Which part exactly are you having problems with? I would be happy to explain my position in detail .

It's more the attitude of saying "SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX!!" You can look at it and say things like "Well, you know she wanted it or she wouldn't have met him".....but, I think you're making a big mistake. What she wanted was love and attention and a man took advantage of that. She was duped. She was 16. I think I have a lot more compassion for her situation than you do. If that is not true, you aren't doing a real good job of expressing that. It seems like you are blaming her.

[DAII]

Originally Posted by ilg

it's more the attitude of saying "she wanted to have sex!!" you can look at it and say things like "well, you know she wanted it or she wouldn't have met him".....but, i think you're making a big mistake. What she wanted was love and attention and a man took advantage of that. She was duped. She was 16. I think i have a lot more compassion for her situation than you do. If that is not true, you aren't doing a real good job of expressing that. It seems like you are blaming her.

hello

[DAII]

Originally Posted by Liberal

I'm disappointed in your take on this, DAII. I'd say that I've enjoyed your angles on this forum more than anyone I've read. You're the "Grace Man" here and yet you're the one here chasing this man with a noose before we really know any facts about this. Surely you know better than to believe everything written in a newspaper article across-the-board.

Not long ago, I did a series of interviews with a newspaper reporter. When the articles were printed, I was SHOCKED at what I said. There were numerous statements that were completely opposed to some of the dearest core philosophies I hold in life.

I'm just saying, DAII, put your noose away and wait. If the facts come out and you're right, I'll hand it to you and pat you on the back.

Thing is, facts are coming out ... this is not a lone yellow journalist ... this was reported by various news sources using court documents and part of the evidence the state is using, ... to bring these charges. Liberal.

I am very much a Grace of God man ... and believe His blood washes even the most heinous sins and makes us right before God... but even Paul regards the law as a schoolmaster that defines sin and points to our need for Christ ..

That is not to be confused with the consequences of sin ...or the consequences of the law ... in this case the statutes in Ohio ... that are designed to protect the innocent ... or the need we have for rule of law to protect our property and God-given rights.

An adult male minister has allegedly preyed on a weaker and more vulnerable individual here ... as DEFINED BY THE LAW. The fact that he is minister is very much germane to this case and the reason the felony charge has been made.

That said, can you please point to where Pastor Monk made the claims of being lied about ... at the bond hearing? I'm most definitely am not a conspiracist, sorry.

[DAII]

There something very fishy here ... and seems the defendant is parsing words and the time frame

He also told police they had kissed and had sex on at least two occasions between April 30 and Sept. 1

Keep in mind ... he gave up his license according to the Dist. Supt. ... prior to his arrest.

Which I'm sure will be argued that he really wasn't a "minister" during his admitted transgression.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by ILG

It's more the attitude of saying "SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX!!" You can look at it and say things like "Well, you know she wanted it or she wouldn't have met him".....but, I think you're making a big mistake. What she wanted was love and attention and a man took advantage of that. She was duped. She was 16. I think I have a lot more compassion for her situation than you do. If that is not true, you aren't doing a real good job of expressing that. It seems like you are blaming her.

My daughter was involved with the youth leader. He was 22 she was 15. Like many here in this situation I believed this was all his fault. He seduced, manipulated and took advantage of my baby girl. Much of that was true. She had to go to counseling for a couple of weeks, a youth hospital she stayed at. While she was gone I began digging through her laptop to find something, anything from him I could take to the police to hang him with. I found plenty, the problem was, to turn over what I had found would have meant revealing not only how much my daughter played into the incident but it would have implicated many other teenage girls in the church for the same thing. This man actually backed away from meeting because he didnt see anyway it could happen. My innocent daughter not only agreed and wanted the meeting but she planned and implemented it. I found where other girls had already been with him. I confronted one of these girls parents whom I had come to be really good friends with outside the church. I was told immediatly that it could only be gossip, their daughter would not be involved in such things. So I dropped the whole thing. He never saw a day of jail time or the inside of a court room, he is on the sex offenders list but was never charged. He is no longer youth leader but a respected person in the church. The church has moved on as have I, I have forgiven.

Here is the part that most of you dont see or is not brought up in the news. The living room. I had to ask my daughter the same question that this girls parents will have to ask. Why ? Why do you want this kind of relationship ? Why do you believe that its ok ? What made you believe that anything but bad could have come from this ? The answers parents like me get from them is the true problem we have that everyone wants to ignore. "Because I have a life too" , "Everyone is doing it", "Its just sex", etc etc etc. Along with that you find out that the age and position of the person is irrelevant. 16 or 30, kid in school or leadership or just the guy who happens to work with mom. Its not always a longing for love and attention, its what they want to do because its their life.

You see , while the man may have been manipulative, in this case as others like it, there has to be a point in time when the girl says to herself "this is ok". The problem is, more and more, younger and younger girls are believing, "this is ok". Even in the church, its ok. We have to address this instead of looking the other way. This man was wrong, but someone has to ask the questions, "why did you text back","why did you sneak out to go have sex with him". If the parents could give us the answers that this girl gives them, I think many here would be suprised and just as sick.

Are there cases where the girl has no options ? Yes, its called rape. But we have to ask ourselves the question and be honest with our answers. Why are these girls saying yes? Why are they wanting it? and most of all, Why do they believe that its ok?

If we could answer those questions with real solutions, then men like this would be out of luck. If we dont want people to get high, get rid of the dope. Dont want drunks, address the alcohol. Once we get the backbone to figure out how to address our childrens outlook on sex, then we take away the venue these sick men play upon. But you cant address a problem until you can admit there is one.

Yes , this is a sick man and should be held responsible for his actions. But we have to address the other side instead of just saying poor pitiful her, pat her on the back and say a prayer.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by DAII

hello

Im here and answering questions, do you have a legitimate one or just "dan being dan" ?

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by scotty

Yes , this is a sick man and should be held responsible for his actions. But we have to address the other side instead of just saying poor pitiful her, pat her on the back and say a prayer.

Amen.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by scotty

My daughter was involved with the youth leader. He was 22 she was 15. Like many here in this situation I believed this was all his fault. He seduced, manipulated and took advantage of my baby girl. Much of that was true. She had to go to counseling for a couple of weeks, a youth hospital she stayed at. While she was gone I began digging through her laptop to find something, anything from him I could take to the police to hang him with. I found plenty, the problem was, to turn over what I had found would have meant revealing not only how much my daughter played into the incident but it would have implicated many other teenage girls in the church for the same thing. This man actually backed away from meeting because he didnt see anyway it could happen. My innocent daughter not only agreed and wanted the meeting but she planned and implemented it. I found where other girls had already been with him. I confronted one of these girls parents whom I had come to be really good friends with outside the church. I was told immediatly that it could only be gossip, their daughter would not be involved in such things. So I dropped the whole thing. He never saw a day of jail time or the inside of a court room, he is on the sex offenders list but was never charged. He is no longer youth leader but a respected person in the church. The church has moved on as have I, I have forgiven.

Here is the part that most of you dont see or is not brought up in the news. The living room. I had to ask my daughter the same question that this girls parents will have to ask. Why ? Why do you want this kind of relationship ? Why do you believe that its ok ? What made you believe that anything but bad could have come from this ? The answers parents like me get from them is the true problem we have that everyone wants to ignore. "Because I have a life too" , "Everyone is doing it", "Its just sex", etc etc etc. Along with that you find out that the age and position of the person is irrelevant. 16 or 30, kid in school or leadership or just the guy who happens to work with mom. Its not always a longing for love and attention, its what they want to do because its their life.

You see , while the man may have been manipulative, in this case as others like it, there has to be a point in time when the girl says to herself "this is ok". The problem is, more and more, younger and younger girls are believing, "this is ok". Even in the church, its ok. We have to address this instead of looking the other way. This man was wrong, but someone has to ask the questions, "why did you text back","why did you sneak out to go have sex with him". If the parents could give us the answers that this girl gives them, I think many here would be suprised and just as sick.

Are there cases where the girl has no options ? Yes, its called rape. But we have to ask ourselves the question and be honest with our answers. Why are these girls saying yes? Why are they wanting it? and most of all, Why do they believe that its ok?

If we could answer those questions with real solutions, then men like this would be out of luck. If we dont want people to get high, get rid of the dope. Dont want drunks, address the alcohol. Once we get the backbone to figure out how to address our childrens outlook on sex, then we take away the venue these sick men play upon. But you cant address a problem until you can admit there is one.

Yes , this is a sick man and should be held responsible for his actions. But we have to address the other side instead of just saying poor pitiful her, pat her on the back and say a prayer.

Thank you for your heartfelt post, Scotty. You are speaking to the relevant issues here and I do appreciate that.

I remember seeing five girls being interviewed on the news because they all got pregnant in High School. ALL of them - everyone of them - said that movies influenced them. They viewed that as normal life. Are movies that main culprit? No, but they apparently are playing a huge part in the mindset.