Just Trying to Be a Good Father

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Just this week, I have taken a trip down memory lane in order to try and be a good father to my sons.

The latest rage at their little country school is shooting "paper hornets" off rubber bands at one another.

This is of course a non-sanctioned activity as far as the teachers are concerned...but, like when I was a lad, it goes on.

Anyway, after abserving them making up supplies of ammunition in the evenings, preparing for the next day's battles, my mind drifted back to the days of my childhood, and of battles I fought and won in that very same arena.

I was an innovative kid, and always looked for ways to get the edge on the competition. This led to some pretty intensive research and development which in turn catapulted me into superpower status in the paper hornet wars.

So, desiring to be a good father, I sat down with my boys and had a serious conversation with them.

I asked them if they were fully aware of the fact that they were going to be in trouble with their teachers if they got caught shooting paper hornets...they affirmed that they were indeed aware.

I then asked them, in all honesty, if they planned to go ahead shooting them and take their chances...again, an affirmative answer.

My next question was, "Are you prepared to accept the consequences like men and not whine if you get nailed?"

They assured me that they were.

So, having cleared the preliminaries, I sat down with them to show them how to make the best paper hornets known to man, with several innovative features that will raise whelps of maximum size upon impact.

I know a little something about boys, and one of the things I know is that they are going to do these things. So, my philosophy is, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right.

Anyway, I showed them how to embed bb's in their paper hornets and wrap them with duct tape so that they can demolish the competiton.

Colton came home yesterday with glowing reports of glorious victories and total playground domination...

He says his buddy's all think I'm cool.

LOL....

Nobody but you Coon, could have written this "Samuel Clementish" illustration in the home-spun flavor, using the rules of English composition that reflect the fine education that you have. Great story. You are reinforcing the boys' masculine traits while teaching them responsibility that go along with it. You are a wise father.

Now, shall I tell of the many such wars that I've also had? Shall I tell of the sling shot (we didn't call them "sling-shots in those days) wars, the cow-patty (many uncured) wars and the fights that followed when we accused each other of knowingly throwing some that were uncured, the bedlum of uncured patties that followed? Shall I tell of the BB wars and the BB that is still embedded in my skin to this day? I had a single shot Red Ryder (because it was cheaper) while my oponents had Daisy guns. Though slighly disadvantaged in rapidity of fire, I was somewhat compensated in the superior force of that one shot. Everyone feared the power of that one BB.

Shall I tell all of that and much more? Naah? Everyone would wonder how it is that I am still alive with all of my functioning body parts. But, it would be interesting. Maybe I will leave all of that in my notes to my grandchildren and their children.

Again Coon, great story.

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I spent the weekend with my daughter and she knew about paper hornets. She said boys made them all the time in middle school and apparently she had been hit with them before too!

*ouch*

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by Brother Strange

LOL....

Nobody but you Coon, could have written this "Samuel Clementish" illustration in the home-spun flavor, using the rules of English composition that reflect the fine education that you have. Great story. You are reinforcing the boys' masculine traits while teaching them responsibility that go along with it. You are a wise father.

Now, shall I tell of the many such wars that I've also had? Shall I tell of the sling shot (we didn't call them "sling-shots in those days) wars, the cow-patty (many uncured) wars and the fights that followed when we accused each other of knowingly throwing some that were uncured, the bedlum of uncured patties that followed? Shall I tell of the BB wars and the BB that is still embedded in my skin to this day? I had a single shot Red Ryder (because it was cheaper) while my oponents had Daisy guns. Though slighly disadvantaged in rapidity of fire, I was somewhat compensated in the superior force of that one shot. Everyone feared the power of that one BB.

Shall I tell all of that and much more? Naah? Everyone would wonder how it is that I am still alive with all of my functioning body parts. But, it would be interesting. Maybe I will leave all of that in my notes to my grandchildren and their children.

Again Coon, great story.

Coonskinner should write a book.

As should you, sir.

Originally Posted by Felicity

Coonskinner should write a book.

As should you, sir.

Thank you.

I can't do it right now. I have to get ready for church.

Coon should, definitely. It would be a good, easy read.

[Coonskinner]

Originally Posted by Brother Strange

LOL....

Nobody but you Coon, could have written this "Samuel Clementish" illustration in the home-spun flavor, using the rules of English composition that reflect the fine education that you have. Great story. You are reinforcing the boys' masculine traits while teaching them responsibility that go along with it. You are a wise father.

Now, shall I tell of the many such wars that I've also had? Shall I tell of the sling shot (we didn't call them "sling-shots in those days) wars, the cow-patty (many uncured) wars and the fights that followed when we accused each other of knowingly throwing some that were uncured, the bedlum of uncured patties that followed? Shall I tell of the BB wars and the BB that is still embedded in my skin to this day? I had a single shot Red Ryder (because it was cheaper) while my oponents had Daisy guns. Though slighly disadvantaged in rapidity of fire, I was somewhat compensated in the superior force of that one shot. Everyone feared the power of that one BB.

Shall I tell all of that and much more? Naah? Everyone would wonder how it is that I am still alive with all of my functioning body parts. But, it would be interesting. Maybe I will leave all of that in my notes to my grandchildren and their children.

Again Coon, great story.

Elder,

The righteous have taken me sorely to task for contributing to the hooliganism of my two lads. Pray for me and for them.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Elder,

The righteous have taken me sorely to task for contributing to the hooliganism of my two lads. Pray for me and for them.

You must be smiling having The Righteous among you again- wrong thread,
















or was it?

[Coonskinner]

My righteous and Beloved wife is back amonst us again, but unlike some of the righteous hereabouts, she happened to think the whole paper hornet deal was funny.

She has a sense of humor to go along with her righteousness.

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Elder,

The righteous have taken me sorely to task for contributing to the hooliganism of my two lads. Pray for me and for them.

The righteous?

We are witnessing the societal feminization of little boys.

You will never have to worry about your two boys having a limp wrist or a twist when they walk. Nor will you have to worry about them losing the Holy Ghost in the middle of a good fight.

My older and younger cousins and I have fought gaining bloody noses, black eyes, torn clothes and a few scratches too. Never lost a bit of Holy Ghost. Had to do some repenting but never lost even one ounce of Holy Ghost.

Your granny is my kind of granny. She wanted to know the details. Details of a good fight won or lost makes for a good story, both here and in heaven too.

Go, granny! I like your attitude.

[Coonskinner]

Originally Posted by Brother Strange

The righteous?

We are witnessing the societal feminization of little boys.

You will never have to worry about your two boys having a limp wrist or a twist when they walk. Nor will you have to worry about them losing the Holy Ghost in the middle of a good fight.

My older and younger cousins and I have fought gaining bloody noses, black eyes, torn clothes and a few scratches too. Never lost a bit of Holy Ghost. Had to do some repenting but never lost even one ounce of Holy Ghost.

Your granny is my kind of granny. She wanted to know the details. Details of a good fight won or lost makes for a good story, both here and in heaven too.

Go, granny! I like your attitude.

LOL...

Granny gave some great pointers of a few things she learned growing up in the Ozarks during the Great Depression.

One of my favorites (and one that sure enough works, too) was her wise counsel about the efficacy of an uppercut to the jaw while the other feller (as she said) was talking big about what he was going to do.

She said, "If you give it to him just right under the chin whilst he's a runnin' his mouth, you'll catch his tongue betwixt his teeth and he'll bite it about half off."

Boy, howdy.

That one will get 'er done.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

LOL...

Granny gave some great pointers of a few things she learned growing up in the Ozarks during the Great Depression.

One of my favorites (and one that sure enough works, too) was her wise counsel about the efficacy of an uppercut to the jaw while the other feller (as she said) was talking big about what he was going to do.

She said, "If you give it to him just right under the chin whilst he's a runnin' his mouth, you'll catch his tongue betwixt his teeth and he'll bite it about half off."

Boy, howdy.

That one will get 'er done.

Whoa- Takes Marriage Counseling Sessions to a new level!