Last night the wife and myself sat down and had a deep discussion on the dress-code version of holiness. Finally we put the Bible away and took out the "manual" or as we call it "Holiness for Dummies". There was a few quotes that really stuck out to me that took awhile to hammer home to her but I think she is finally getting it.
"Notice that the devil tries to do just the opposite to man. One of the things that the demon possesed man of Gadara did was take off his clothes. When Jesus cast out the devil, the man was fully clothed and in his right mind...."
This wasn't as hard as the rest of them but still I finally convinced her that running around naked was just not a good idea. Especially when we are doing door knocking.
"Standards we have used are sleeves to the elbow and dresses covering the knee"
Really...this was the easiest one. BUt we did go thru the closet and rid ourselves of any mid-knee and top-o-the-knee dresses. As well as the elbow showing sin. My wife has killer bi-ceps.
"Next Paul says that a woman should adorn herself with shamefacedness and sobriety, and not with various showy things such as elaborately braided hair, gold, pearls, or costly garments"
This one actually sent her into a rampage. She broke into my 5 yr olds room and ripped the pony-tail braids from her hair. She then began to tear all the broaches from her church dresses and the buckles from her shoes. She then ran down to church and turned over the tables that held our SFC projects. The pastors wife makes things for ladies hair and lapels and gives the money to the bldg. fund and SFC. BUT NO MORE!!! The church secretary walked by with a set of those chop sticks in her hair and I had to restrain my wife. It was crazy!
"Moderation in cost......A good way to think of it is to ask if this is an ostentationus display of wealth in the sight of acquaintances and fellow believers"
This one was hard but we cancelled any further meetings with the nursing home and the homeless. There is no way that I am going to be responsible of arousing envy in my Target and SHop-Co getup.
"Even pants that are now designed for women are still so closely patterned after men's clothing the they fit under the definition of "that which pertaineth unto a man"
This was the hardest for me to swallow. Simply because after this was established my wife found some killer sales at Walmart and today I'm wearing a pair of pastel blue capri's with a pink kitty on the pocket where I hold my wallet. Weird.
"Wearing jewelry and ornaments is a form of vanity and contrary to the teachings on moderation"
Vanity means excessive pride in ones accomplishments and appearance so we immeditatly took down all the american flags in our home. Also the mandoline pick that I wear on a black string under my shirt, it was my grandpas. Trashed it!
"
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids......(face paint) The type of women this cripture describes is called an evil woman, a strange women, a whorish woman, and an adultress......"
This is the one I got hammered on, but I had a job to do. I called my wife in the room and I asked that we get my mom and sister on a conference three-way call. And with the authority of "Search for Holiness" I called everyone of them EVIL WHORES!!!! I let them know that the only reason they were using powder and cover-up was because they had a secret desire to sleep with every man they came in contact with. I told then I would no longer put up with strange women in my life.
:reac tion
:runh ills
Give me coffee lest I go insane!
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