Why does it seem that men are obsessed here.......

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by tbpew

miss bratti,
I can certainly embrace and agree with the thoughtfulness and pragmatism represented in your last post.

A perspective that you may not share (and I am ready to agree to disagree):

1.I believe that a majority of the apostolic pastors view themselves in a role of 'the local church father'.
2. If they are, they have children
3. Those children already have fathers.
4. Those children now have two influential roles that they are likely being instructed to obey.
5. A double-mindedness is given occassion
6. double-mindedness establishes instability.

the same sequence of thought can be applied for the church husband and his wives.

Hmm.. I'm sitting here chewing on my lip, and I don't know if I agree with you or not. I can see how they can be looked up to like a father, but I don't know that they intentionally set it up that way.

To look at it simplistically, one of the things that we teach our children is to obey their elders, so if their pastor tells them to do something, and they obey, essentially they are obeying their parents by obeying their pastor.

They do know that we have the final say, and they're smart enough to know if something conflicts with what we would say they'll tell us or ask us first.

Where I can agree with you is that some folks place pastoral leadership above family authority, and when a conflict arises, they default to the pastor, often without truly examining the issue. Perhaps in situations like this, the husband will feel left out in the cold, even if his views have validity and ought to carry weight.

I'm not done, but I have errands to run and dinner to cook, so I'll be back later!

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

I know!!! I was thinking earlier, we need a smiley that is spitting something out of it's mouth.

Wait. That would be gross. Bad idea!

There is a smilie for that.............

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by tbpew

miss bratti,
in the church I attend do I have the role of wife and mother within the calling and election of the senior/founding pastor that has the rule?

No. But that doesn't mean you can't nurture and influence the children in your church. It's an interesting issue.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by cneasttx

There is a smilie for that.............

OH! How did I miss that one? Oh well, I was right, kind of gross!

(but I probably will be using it in the future anyway!)

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Common that pastors come between the husband and wife? On purpose or unintentionally?

Can you give examples? The ones I know of are fairly extreme....

I have seen a husband fear his wife's submission to church teachings or leadership, and try to detract from that or try to prevent her from doing so. There is an issue there that should be addressed, because in my opinion, there aren't many good reasons for a man to do this unless the church is a cult and has teachings that need to be feared and avoided.



I agree, and an interesting one.

I think they are trained to have that mindset and no I can't go into detail. It's feels too ugly to do that.

I like rather staying on the perimeters understanding the situation and not going further in my thoughts or expression on the subject.

One thing I will say, as way of explanation, the mantra for the first years of my life in church were - "touch not thine anointed".

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by chosenbyone

Eastman, you brought up an excellent point regarding caring for women's salvation; however, placing the responsibility on the women to prevent men from lusting after them wouldn't be fair. You're far more likely to see immodestly dressed women going to and from work then you would ever see in a church whether that church be conservative or liberal.

By one, you have a point as well, but there are some that have an issue with standards that aren't just meant to pick on women. This is an equal opportunity forum, and it seems like HO is being a bit judgemental towards men on this forum. I am getting the impression from her, that she seems to think that standards are geered specifically for women, to which I totally disagree. I do not expect the world to care about how they present themselves, but Christian men and women should look and act different.
The comment I made about the men looking or having a problem with women dressing the way they do would also apply to the women, the only thing about that though, is that women do not have that issue nearly as much as men, in my opinion of course.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by RevBuddy

Come on, STM...back off...slow down...take a deep breath here...

our OP ladies are often...

...more dedicated than our men to the work of God...

...more impacted by the teaching and preaching of "standards" than men...

...more intense prayer warriors than our men...

...more dedicated and faithful to church services than men...

...more stable emotionally and spiritually than our men...

Look at the average OP church choir and tell me where are the spiritual, dedicated men????

You ladies are a shining example of personal dedication and humility...as you faithful follow the teaching of His Word... thanks so much for that...

I wholeheartedly agree.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by LadyRev

So why don't men discuss issues pertaining to them and their "leadership" of their families? As the family goes, so the church goes....

To a point, I agree with HeavenlyOnes observations. Some men do have an obsession and a spiritual problem. Some, not all.

LadyRev, If I'm not mistaken, it would seem as if you have an axe to grind. Why let it bother you? The women who do hold to standards do not necessarily do it because some man is telling them they must. Get over it. I have not yet had to tell my wife what she needs to wear, or any other woman for that matter.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by The Mrs

If men are more vocal about the women's standards, it's probably because they've gotten so much flak about it over the years from FCF till now!

We've argued with them, and debated with them, and told them they don't know what they're talking about...so they started learning and observing, figuring out what, who, and why.

We really shouldn't be so hard on them for this.

Excellent point! Now if we could just get HO to listen.

[My Own Eyes]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

LadyRev, If I'm not mistaken, it would seem as if you have an axe to grind. Why let it bother you? The women who do hold to standards do not necessarily do it because some man is telling them they must. Get over it. I have not yet had to tell my wife what she needs to wear, or any other woman for that matter.

You may not "tell", but I have certainly heard many of you share your "opinions" on what women should wear (which pretty much IS telling them what to wear)