Healthy versus Unhealthy Relationships

["GL"]

Very good post, PP. I agree. I've had "friends" on both sides of the fence with agendas. IRL, it seems that many are uncomfortable with my moderate to moderately conservative views. And I refuse to be out into a box and stamped with someone else's label.

I have many, many casual friends. We must, however, be cautious in choosing those with whom we become "yolked" in close friendship.

[MissBrattified]

I don't think its selfish to evaluate the people around you and decide which relationships are healthy and which ones aren't. If you are in a relationship where you are doing all the giving, and someone else is taking, taking, taking...hey, that's fine...nothing wrong with that...but its not a friendship. You'll have to call it something else.

There does have to be give and take, though, and it can't just be about "what does this person offer ME"...however, common sense comes into play, and we don't need to waste precious time on people who drain us of energy, who are negative, who basically make us miserable.

Selfishness isn't always bad, you know. It requires me being "selfish" for a little bit if I decide to take a bubble bath, instead of my usual 5 minute shower! It requires me depending on my husband or Grandma to watch the kids for half an hour so I can relax and enjoy myself. Light some candles. Read a book. Put in earplugs.

We are to be giving and self-sacrificing, but we also have to be selfish a little bit. Jesus went off by Himself when He was weary, or He would take a FEW of His disciples with Him. Do you think all the other disciples were offended when only James, John & Peter went with Him to pray? At some point this all-inclusive, "I must be friends with everyone" thing becomes ridiculous and impossible.

Furthermore, it IS legitimate, that if I feel someone is causing me to falter spiritually, that I should remove myself from their influence. If that makes me a weak Christian, so be it. I am weaker still if I cannot recognize my own weakness and take steps to protect my own soul.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by "GL"

Very good post, PP. I agree. I've had "friends" on both sides of the fence with agendas. IRL, it seems that many are uncomfortable with my moderate to moderately conservative views. And I refuse to be out into a box and stamped with someone else's label.

I have many, many casual friends. We must, however, be cautious in choosing those with whom we become "yolked" in close friendship.

Thanks Bro. I agree completely.

There are great people on this forum, and there are others who have a not-so-hidden agenda to destroy anything remotely Apostolic. I have decided that I refuse to bow to anyone else's ideology and belief system. If friends leave me over it, oh well. They must not have been very good friends anyway.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I don't think its selfish to evaluate the people around you and decide which relationships are healthy and which ones aren't. If you are in a relationship where you are doing all the giving, and someone else is taking, taking, taking...hey, that's fine...nothing wrong with that...but its not a friendship. You'll have to call it something else.

There does have to be give and take, though, and it can't just be about "what does this person offer ME"...however, common sense comes into play, and we don't need to waste precious time on people who drain us of energy, who are negative, who basically make us miserable.

Selfishness isn't always bad, you know. It requires me being "selfish" for a little bit if I decide to take a bubble bath, instead of my usual 5 minute shower! It requires me depending on my husband or Grandma to watch the kids for half an hour so I can relax and enjoy myself. Light some candles. Read a book. Put in earplugs.

We are to be giving and self-sacrificing, but we also have to be selfish a little bit. Jesus went off by Himself when He was weary, or He would take a FEW of His disciples with Him. Do you think all the other disciples were offended when only James, John & Peter went with Him to pray? At some point this all-inclusive, "I must be friends with everyone" thing becomes ridiculous and impossible.

Furthermore, it IS legitimate, that if I feel someone is causing me to falter spiritually, that I should remove myself from their influence. If that makes me a weak Christian, so be it. I am weaker still if I cannot recognize my own weakness and take steps to protect my own soul.

Wowser!

I wish I could write like that.