Triple E's LOL Zone - Page 4

BoredOutOfMyMind · #31 03-04-2007, 02:25 PM

Make Sure the Other Person Understands What You Are Saying

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him

what he had. Bubba said: "Shingles." So she wrote down his name, address,

medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he

had.

Bubba said, "Shingles." So she wrote down his height, weight, a

complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba

said, "Shingles." So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure

test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes

and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in

the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles." The doctor

asked, "Where?"

Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em

#32 03-04-2007, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoredOutOfMyMind

Make Sure the Other Person Understands What You Are Saying

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him

what he had. Bubba said: "Shingles." So she wrote down his name, address,

medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he

had.

Bubba said, "Shingles." So she wrote down his height, weight, a

complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba

said, "Shingles." So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure

test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes

and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in

the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles." The doctor

asked, "Where?"

Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em

#33 03-04-2007, 05:34 PM

TRIPLE E · #34 03-06-2007, 04:00 AM

They say just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down,so this thread will be for the lighter side of AFF.When you get tired of all the Newsflashes and Bashing (one way or the other) come here read a joke from TE's collection or add one yourself.They say "laughter is the one of the best medicine's"

Here is today's laugh:

One woman related that at a family gathering, some of the husbands began teasing their wives about how the women always seemed to get their way in their marriages.
Responding to the teasing, one woman said: "Honey, when I get my way, that’s a compromise."
Smiling he asked: "What is it when I get my way?"
She smiled back and replied, "That’s called a miracle!"

TRIPLE E · #35 03-06-2007, 04:03 AM

Here's one we all can relate to:
A 4-year-old boy was traveling with his mother & constantly asking the same question over & over again? "When are we going to get there? When are we going to get there?" Finally, the mother got so irritated that she said, "We still have 90 more miles to go. So don’t ask me again when we’re going to get there." Well, the boy was silent for a long time. Then he timidly asked, "Mom, will I still be four when we get there?"

BoredOutOfMyMind · #36 03-06-2007, 04:24 AM

Glenelg, Maryland, is such a small community, I was
surprised that they had a community paper. I asked one
old-timer about it.

He replied, "We all know what everybody else is doing, but
we like to read the paper anyway to see who's been caught at
it."

#37 03-06-2007, 09:26 PM

Story told to me

As a retired person, I often have little to do. SOO, the other day I was downtown in the one of the stores. When I walked out, a policeman was standing there writing a ticket. I walked up to him and Said "Ah come on man give a retired guy a break". He just ignored me an kept writing. SO, I called him a "Nazi!!". He proceeded to writed a second ticket. I called him "Gastapo!!!" . He finished the second and started to write a third for bald tires. "Jerk" I called him. He proceeded to write a fourth for a broken windshield. Now I go to town on the bus. This guy was writing tickets to a car that had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in 08". I love being a republican!@!

Sam · #38 03-06-2007, 10:08 PM

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.

All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs."Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "it's just that my wife and I joined the Pentecostal Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

TRIPLE E · #39 03-07-2007, 08:23 AM

Here's some food for thought!
If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

Digging4Truth · #40 03-07-2007, 08:32 AM

Only in America....

do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front

Only in America......

do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America .

do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America .

do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......

do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight

Only in America......

do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America .

do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?