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Why not say, "I would be happy to sing at your event (or speak...), but I cannot promise not to speak in tongues."?
Then let them make the decision...chances are, they'll change their mind.
I do not believe we should ever allow someone else to dictate whether or not we will speak about Jesus or worship Him. Look at what Daniel did, in defiance to what he was told? He worshipped 3 times a day as he had always done.
When there is presented a choice between worshipping God or denying any aspect of our faith, we have to make that choice. To cave in, or to even say nothing, is, in my mind, denying Christ.
I think being straightforward and honest is what Paul would do. I can't imagine Paul saying, "Okay, I won't mention the name of Jesus," or, "Alright, I promise not to talk in tongues." Jesus broke all kinds of religious rules.
I say that folks know who you are and what you believe in, and they will respect you less if you cave in to their requests. I think if you stand up for what you believe in, God opens the doors...you don't need men to open them for you, and God can change their minds and soften their hearts and remove their objections.
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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