Leaving a Church The Right Way?

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by n david

You thinking about leaving MW's already!?

No. When I left my former Assembly of God church, I tried to set an apoointment, but the appointment had to be canceled. I spoke with him at an altar at the end of a sermon on a Sunday morning.

I didn't like how the conversation ended.

I spoke with him again about an hour ago, in an attempt to schedule another appointment again.

However, we spoke over the phone. He made it clear that he wasn't going to attempt to ask to stay. "It's a free world. The people of the Pentecostals of Apopka are very fine people. I've never heard a bad word about them as people. I think they are wrong doctrinally. I disagree with the notion that a person won't go to Heaven unless they speak in tongues. I disagree with the notion that a person MUST be baptized in the Name of Jesus only. I only have a few serious doctrinal issues with them, but they are fine people."

There was a pause.

I did tell him that there are a couple of doctrinal issues that I am not in 100% agreement with them as well, "but I miss them."

The phone conversation ended positively and Pastor Carl Stephens told me that I was welcome back at his church any time.

[BeenThinkin]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

No. When I left my former Assembly of God church, I tried to set an apoointment, but the appointment had to be canceled. I spoke with him at an altar at the end of a sermon on a Sunday morning.

I didn't like how the conversation ended.

I spoke with him again about an hour ago, in an attempt to schedule another appointment again.

However, we spoke over the phone. He made it clear that he wasn't going to attempt to ask to stay. "It's a free world. The people of the Pentecostals of Apopka are very fine people. I've never heard a bad word about them as people. I think they are wrong doctrinally. I disagree with the notion that a person won't go to Heaven unless they speak in tongues. I disagree with the notion that a person MUST be baptized in the Name of Jesus only. I only have a few serious doctrinal issues with them, but they are fine people."

There was a pause.

I did tell him that there are a couple of doctrinal issues that I am not in 100% agreement with them as well, "but I miss them."

The phone conversation ended positively and Pastor Carl Stephens told me that I was welcome back at his church any time.

BT

[n david]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

However, we spoke over the phone. He made it clear that he wasn't going to attempt to ask to stay. "It's a free world. The people of the Pentecostals of Apopka are very fine people. I've never heard a bad word about them as people. I think they are wrong doctrinally. I disagree with the notion that a person won't go to Heaven unless they speak in tongues. I disagree with the notion that a person MUST be baptized in the Name of Jesus only. I only have a few serious doctrinal issues with them, but they are fine people."

There was a pause.

I did tell him that there are a couple of doctrinal issues that I am not in 100% agreement with them as well, "but I miss them."

The phone conversation ended positively and Pastor Carl Stephens told me that I was welcome back at his church any time.

That sounds like a great conversation. Firm on his objections to their doctrine, but polite. And he even invited you back!

[n david]

My Pastor has said many times that he didn't believe the congregation was his possession; because of such, he doesn't try to hinder or push back against anyone who wishes to leave. There have only been a couple couples who have left, one to start a church and another to help a church with music (phenomenal musician, I miss them). Both times, at the end of the service, he invited them to the front and asked the church to pray God's blessing on them.

A previous church I went to, the Pastor believed the people to be his; and as such, he would tell anyone who tried to leave that he prayed and felt it wasn't God's will they not leave. And if they left, it was an affront to God and the Pastor and no one was to fellowship with them.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Arphaxad

Tell them three times"I divorce you"

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

I wrote a letter. I'd already been told by several close friends, including some in ministry postions, that we would not be 'allowed' to leave. Since that was not an option I did not crack open that door. The letter was polite but firm. Then we avoided phone calls and emails for a couple of months. Anyone who did the 'miss you at church' thing to me in public was quickly told that if they missed me we could go grab a cup of coffee any time. Anyone who posted on my FB that they missed me at church was given a quick private note with the same message... if they did it again I unfriended them. It all died down in about a year.

I think the best way to leave a church is to move out of town, out of state if you can, and drop a postcard from where ever you've gone.

Witness protection.

[imreedemed]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Oh man, when anyone left OUR church back in the day they were officially shunned. We're talking, time set aside from the sermon to warn the congregation not to "fellowship" with "those people" and then examples were given about those who DID fellowship with those that were warned against it -and had unspeakable things happen to them.

Defellowshipped like the JWs call it

[StillStanding]

I went into the pastor's office to tell him that I was moving to another city to work in another church in the same organization. He rebuked me, brought up every mistake I had made since arriving at his church, and told me the church had wasted their time and energy with me! I sat there while he yelled about how horrible a person and a Christian I was.

I didn't say anything, but responded with a smile. That made him even angrier!

[houston]

Going back because you miss them, well, obviously feelings are more important than doctrine.

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by houston

Going back because you miss them, well, obviously feelings are more important than doctrine.

I deserve that punch to the gut, especially since at one time, on this very forum, I advised you NOT to return to the UPCI if you were still at odds with them doctrinally. Feel free to punch me at will, Houston. In fact, may I have another?



At no time did I suspect that the doctrinal issues that separate the A/G from the UPCI to be Heaven or hell issues-- at least not directly.

I felt like I was dying on the inside there.
I had more friends there then at the UPC in Apopka, and I loved their fellowship outside of the sanctuary walls.

However, it got to the point where I dreaded going to that church-- nothing against any of the people or Pastors there personally.


Why go to church and be miserable while you're there? I started letting myself sleep late on Sundays, missing Wednesday nights too.

Instead of church hopping again, I returned to the last place where I knew I would find the Lord.

It's not perfect, but it sure is homey.