Dire Prophecies and Good Intentions: 6 Years Later

[Dichotomy Girl]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

Or they would develop Stockholm Syndrome and look like your average UPC congregation. ROFL!

The psychology of what my brain during that time, is fascinating to me. Are you familiar with the term Cognitive Dissonance?

http://psychology.about.com/od/cogni...dissonance.htm

Question: What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
Answer:
People tend to seek consistency in their beliefs and perceptions. So what happens when one of our beliefs conflicts with another previously held belief? The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance.

I often refer to my time as being in a Coma of sorts, because in order to fix the cognitive dissonance, I had to clamp down on parts of my mind and personality, and therefore fit in.

[Titus2woman]

Originally Posted by Dichotomy Girl

The psychology of what my brain during that time, is fascinating to me. Are you familiar with the term Cognitive Dissonance?

http://psychology.about.com/od/cogni...dissonance.htm



I often refer to my time as being in a Coma of sorts, because in order to fix the cognitive dissonance, I had to clamp down on parts of my mind and personality, and therefore fit in.

I am familiar with the term... I have given a lot of thought to how I got rope-a-doped into the UPCI... and sadly my answer is I walked in to it eyes (at least partially) wide open.

I am from a very rough background... with tons of street smarts and other smarts as well... there was just no reason, except THE reason, that I should have wound up in a false religion. And THE reason was that I WANTED it to be true and I wanted it enough that I was willing to put aside so many other truths to make it so... and so I did.

I have paid for that in more ways than I care to describe. I am still paying for it in some ways but mostly now I am free. I take it out and walk it around here... Mostly because even now the romantic side of my church life still gets a hook in me sometimes and I want to never forget what it really was.

I think it's like the woman who leaves an abusive spouse and makes a new and productive life for herself but is still, in her heart of hearts, in love with the charming guy he was when he was not hurting her... Or the alcoholic who has a memory of the fun times while drinking and has to reminded himself of the damage and destruction.

I don't deny the good parts, I just have to keep a reality on what the cost for those really was and in my case it was stuffing down some of my most deeply held beliefs in order to conform and belong and no longer respecting myself because of it.

[Dichotomy Girl]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

I am familiar with the term... I have given a lot of thought to how I got rope-a-doped into the UPCI... and sadly my answer is I walked in to it eyes (at least partially) wide open.

I am from a very rough background... with tons of street smarts and other smarts as well... there was just no reason, except THE reason, that I should have wound up in a false religion. And THE reason was that I WANTED it to be true and I wanted it enough that I was willing to put aside so many other truths to make it so... and so I did.

I have paid for that in more ways than I care to describe. I am still paying for it in some ways but mostly now I am free. I take it out and walk it around here... Mostly because even now the romantic side of my church life still gets a hook in me sometimes and I want to never forget what it really was.

I think it's like the woman who leaves an abusive spouse and makes a new and productive life for herself but is still, in her heart of hearts, in love with the charming guy he was when he was not hurting her... Or the alcoholic who has a memory of the fun times while drinking and has to reminded himself of the damage and destruction.

I don't deny the good parts, I just have to keep a reality on what the cost for those really was and in my case it was stuffing down some of my most deeply held beliefs in order to conform and belong and no longer respecting myself because of it.

I think for me, it was that I was miserable, and some people told me that Jesus was awesome, and he could take away my pain, and give me a new start, and I thought that sounded really great. And I did feel that, and it had a huge impact on me. And then those people told me about the Holy Ghost, and that things could get even better. Which I got at home, seeking God, on my own. And I felt really truly changed inside.

And so, when they started telling me other things, things that maybe I should have questioned, I didn't. I believed them, especially when they used "bible" to back it up. I was a brand new baby Christian, I didn't have wisdom, I didn't have discernment. All I knew is that these people had shown me an awesome gift, and I was ready and willing to trust them on all the things I didn't yet understand.

And so yes, I read my Bible and studied, but it was less me asking God "show me what this means" and more them just telling me what it meant (and if I felt God was showing me something else, I was most likely being tempted or the devil was trying to deceive me.)