The Village idioT - Page 32

RandyWayne · #**311** 02-07-2012, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

After reading this I'm not sure whether to feel smarter or more stupid. Once when young the kids and I were untrimming the tree on a cold New Years day... Well rather than drag it out in the snow to the curb I thought... 'why not just stuff it in the fire place?'.... We already had a fire going... In just a minute it roared up and exploded the brick chimney almost to the roof. Thanks be to God we had fire retardant shingles and I did not actually burn the house down. The adjuster from our homeowners insurance company was quite impressed, said he'd never seen anything quite like it... Of course I made my husband meet him while I hid out

"Today we salute YOU Ms Burn-the-Christmas-tree-in-the-fireplace! When the holidays are over YOU don't simply throw it out. YOU have a match, and a plan!"

Singer: "Oh watch it goooooooooo!"

"Has the tree just been taken down? Or has been sitting a few weeks becoming even more combustable? It doesn't matter to you!"

Singer: "Where is the hose!"

"So pop open a bottle of ice cold Bud Light oh keeper of the holiday flame! Either way, we see one hot winner!"

bbyrd009 · #**312** 02-07-2012, 11:56 AM

lol

Jay · #**313** 02-07-2012, 03:04 PM

I do not think that I can top that one. I would be willing to submit you to the Darwin Awards. I believe that you would qualify for the atempt.

Titus2woman · #**314** 02-07-2012, 03:20 PM

Thank you, thank you very much (deep, sweeping curtsey!)

Yes my village misses me

KeptByTheWord · #**315** 02-07-2012, 03:56 PM

That was quite a laugh T2W!!! Guess I'll join the idiot village too...

I had just bought my first car, and it needed some work. My dad warned me the brakes were bad. Well, one day while in town, I went to stop at a light, and the brake pedal went all the way to the floor. Nothing. In my panic, I thought, well, I'll just drive home. So I had to run the rest of the red lights through town, and make my way home. We lived on a hill, and I knew once I got to the top of the hill, I would be fine. Well, my younger brothers were out playing in the yard when I drove up, honking the horn and screaming at them "I've got no brakes!" They ran out of the way, and I glided the car to a stop, and put it in park. I got out of the car, and my dad came running out. I was shaking with the anxiety of it all. My dad said, well, didn't you try your emergency brake? I could've died. My family has never let me live that one down... in my panic, I'd never even thought about the emergency brake!!

RandyWayne · #**316** 02-07-2012, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

That was quite a laugh T2W!!! Guess I'll join the idiot village too...

I had just bought my first car, and it needed some work. My dad warned me the brakes were bad. Well, one day while in town, I went to stop at a light, and the brake pedal went all the way to the floor. Nothing. In my panic, I thought, well, I'll just drive home. So I had to run the rest of the red lights through town, and make my way home. We lived on a hill, and I knew once I got to the top of the hill, I would be fine. Well, my younger brothers were out playing in the yard when I drove up, honking the horn and screaming at them "I've got no brakes!" They ran out of the way, and I glided the car to a stop, and put it in park. I got out of the car, and my dad came running out. I was shaking with the anxiety of it all. My dad said, well, didn't you try your emergency brake? I could've died. My family has never let me live that one down... in my panic, I'd never even thought about the emergency brake!!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who had this come to mind.

Margies3 · #**317** 02-07-2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

That was quite a laugh T2W!!! Guess I'll join the idiot village too...

I had just bought my first car, and it needed some work. My dad warned me the brakes were bad. Well, one day while in town, I went to stop at a light, and the brake pedal went all the way to the floor. Nothing. In my panic, I thought, well, I'll just drive home. So I had to run the rest of the red lights through town, and make my way home. We lived on a hill, and I knew once I got to the top of the hill, I would be fine. Well, my younger brothers were out playing in the yard when I drove up, honking the horn and screaming at them "I've got no brakes!" They ran out of the way, and I glided the car to a stop, and put it in park. I got out of the car, and my dad came running out. I was shaking with the anxiety of it all. My dad said, well, didn't you try your emergency brake? I could've died. My family has never let me live that one down... in my panic, I'd never even thought about the emergency brake!!

Right out of high school I wanted to buy a 1968 Firebird that my uncle was selling. My dad did NOT want me to buy it from this particular uncle because he didn't trust him. But you know how teenagers are - we knew everything. So my uncle co-signed for the loan and I drove the car home.

My dad laughed because he knew the car was a stick shift and I didn't know how to drive one yet. So I told him to get in the car and I would show him how well I could do this. And that I had even taught myself (brag brag!) Dad gets in the car and we drive down the road with me shifting gears just like a pro. Right up until my dad told me that the reason it hadn't stalled was because the clutch was completely out and I had been driving in first gear that whole way. Then I had to pay to get a new clutch put on this car that I had just bought

Hoovie · #**318** 02-07-2012, 07:53 PM

I have seen many (after the fact) explosive type chimney fires from Christmas trees in fireplaces over the years.

But hey, you are one fine idioT Mrs. Titus, I certainly don't mean to take away from from your accomplishment!!

Jay · #**319** 02-07-2012, 07:55 PM

I read the story to my Dad, and he said that he knows of many that have done the same thing, including an assistant fire chief who cut his up first, and then called the fire department because the fire in the fireplace had gotten too hot.

Titus2woman · #**320** 02-08-2012, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoovie

I have seen many (after the fact) explosive type chimney fires from Christmas trees in fireplaces over the years.

But hey, you are one fine idioT Mrs. Titus, I certainly don't mean to take away from from your accomplishment!!

Yes, I've heard this since... growing up in sunny southern California without a fireplace I had no idea about them. One cold winter in Michigan changed all that!

I did hear that my chimney fire was quite impressive for the way that it blew the chimney right off the house just about level with the roof. After we heard the explosion we ran outside to find 10 foot flames coming out of the hole where the chimney used to be and brick scattered all over ours and even the neighbors yard. It was quite a sight.

In my genius I had actually turned the tree up-side-down and stuffed it up the chimney all the way to the damper. Of course the biggest miracle was that it did not burn the house down.