Are you a victim or a survivor?

[Malvaro]

Originally Posted by Michlow

You know my pastor. He's a nice guy. He's a pretty good pastor. He's never done anything to cause me to question his motives. Yeah, he's irritated me a time or two, (he is a man after all), but all in all we get along fairly well.

But when it comes to my spiritual walk, and making decisions there in. Nope, I wouldn't trust him. I might carefully consider his advice. But in the end, I would do what I thought was best. When it comes to that kind of situation, I always have to do what I think God is telling me to do, I don't think I will ever again be able to blindly submit to a mediator.

blind submission is a very dangerous proposition....

blind submission has many times in the past led people to embrace false doctrine(s).... due to the absence of the Word in their lives....

I've told our congregation that we need to get in the Word to make sure that we know Truth, live Truth and breathe Truth.... i've told them, Get in your Bible so you can make sure what we are preaching and teaching is in the Book and true!

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

blind submission is a very dangerous proposition....

blind submission has many times in the past led people to embrace false doctrine(s).... due to the absence of the Word in their lives....

I've told our congregation that we need to get in the Word to make sure that we know Truth, live Truth and breathe Truth.... i've told them, Get in your Bible so you can make sure what we are preaching and teaching is in the Book and true!

To be honest Mal, I have a hard time with the Bible right now. It was used as a tool to control and dominate. It's hard to read it without that connotation.

Sometimes when I am finished reading my Bible I feel sick to my stomach. I'm not gonna lie. It's hard. But I'm working on it.

[Subdued]

Reading your posts, H1 and Michlow, brings back memories and pain. I can truly relate.

You both are in my prayers.

[Malvaro]

Pastors, what do you teach/share to help your sheep overcome their previous hurts? what scriptural passages or principles?

I once taught Overcoming Bitterness through the Power of Forgiveness....

surprising that no pastors have checked in yet....

[sis. jill]

I just taught a Ladies Bible Study on Forgiveness. We discussed Joseph and how God had a plan to turn his hurt into good. I believe that God allows things to happen in our lives to bring us to a crossroad. How we respond to that hurt will determine whether or not good comes of it. I have been hurt and abused both by people in the world and people in the church. I REFUSE to be a victom....I CHOOSE to be VICTORIOUS! I REFUSE to get bitter and CHOOSE to get better. I have found that there is ministering power in the pain that I have suffered. I thank God for it every day.

The dictionary definition of forgive is to cease to feel resentment against an offender, i.e., to pardon ones enemies

Until we forgive, we are the prisoner of the person who has offended us.

I refuse to lock myself in a cell with those who have done me wrong!

[Malvaro]

Originally Posted by sis. jill

I just taught a Ladies Bible Study on Forgiveness. We discussed Joseph and how God had a plan to turn his hurt into good. I believe that God allows things to happen in our lives to bring us to a crossroad. How we respond to that hurt will determine whether or not good comes of it. I have been hurt and abused both by people in the world and people in the church. I REFUSE to be a victom....I CHOOSE to be VICTORIOUS! I REFUSE to get bitter and CHOOSE to get better. I have found that there is ministering power in the pain that I have suffered. I thank God for it every day.

The dictionary definition of forgive is to cease to feel resentment against an offender, i.e., to pardon ones enemies

Until we forgive, we are the prisoner of the person who has offended us.

I refuse to lock myself in a cell with those who have done me wrong!

Excellent!! Bitterness and anger are a bondage that will destroy anyone.... no matter how great or small....

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne

Just a comparison.......

I was abused as a child in school, both mentally and physically. In those days, you didn't have the laws that are in place now to protect children, and I had nobody to turn to.

I had teachers that took the liberty my mother gave them to inflict pain on my person at every whim. The principal in 2nd grade took every opportunity to punish me and humiliate me, even spanking me in the lunchroom with everyone present. Teachers washed my mouth out with soap and would prevent me from using the bathroom, resulting in my wetting myself, then being humiliated for it.

Then there were the kids. I had no friends in grade school until I was in 8th grade, and then it was only because I was a bad kid. I hated everyone I had contact with, and if someone was nice to me, I made sure they realized the mistake they made.

My mom was sure I was headed for prison, but the hurt I was feeling inside numbed anything else I should have been feeling. I was a kid in serious trouble, but everyone just saw me as a rebellious, misbehaving, unruly child.

Those experiences turned me against furthering my education for many years, and here I am at almost 40, wishing I'd done this 20 years ago.

If only someone had reached out to me instead of pushing me aside for someone that was unreachable.......I wonder what kind of person I'd be today.

Of course, the above means I'm blaming everyone for how I turned out, right?

If only you knew.....

According to the stats, I should have 8 kids by 13 different fathers, be on welfare, drugs, homeless, and full of bitterness and hatred. But I had to turn those things over to God long ago, and with His help, I am where I am today......but I have oh so far to go.

So, you see, it's not just the church that has hurt me.

Dear HeavenlyOne,

The Bible says that God knows those who are His...you have been His since your birth. When you thought no one was watching or caring...Christ was right there with you, holding you up, and giving you strength and life.

Speak life to yourself now and lay the past to rest. You are not a victim any longer but a survivor through the blood of Jesus. You were adopted and your heritage has been changed.

Thank-you for your transparency, but you are no longer Identified with those things...you belong to another family now and God's family sticks together. Loves cords bind us together. I admire your strength and what you have come through. You are indeed a survivor!

Blessings, Rhoni

[Digging4Truth]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

With all the "I've been hurt by (fill in the blank)" and "sheep-bashing pastors/preachers" threads that are all so prevalent on AFF.... I thought I'd ask the question that few are bold enough to ask around here....


A victim is never able to get over their anger and bitterness, thus God is never able to bind up their wounds because of their unwillingness to let go, and spend the rest of their days thinking of themselves as a victim and martyr in life....


A survivor gets over their anger and bitterness, seeks God to bind up their wounds and hurts, and looks for any positives that have helped them become a better person through their bad experience(s)....


Face it! Everyone here on AFF has been hurt by someone during their lifetime!

So are you a victim or a survivor????

I am a survivor.

But I will never be as naive as I once was.

I am a survivor.

But I am changed forever.

I am a survivor.

But my experiences have taught me things to watch for and to be careful of.

I am a survivor.

But the result of "surviving" is sometimes that you very seldom, if ever, find yourself in a place where you can fully trust again.

I am a survivor.

And I stand with a more God centered relationship than ever before.

I am a survivor.

My faith is stronger and more focused than ever before.

I am a survivor.

But the experience has changed me.

I am a survivor.

But it can never be erased from the tablet of who I am that, at one time, I had to fight to survive.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

I am a survivor.

But I will never be as naive as I once was.

I am a survivor.

But I am changed forever.

I am a survivor.

But my experiences have taught me things to watch for and to be careful of.

I am a survivor.

But the result of "surviving" is sometimes that you very seldom, if ever, find yourself in a place where you can fully trust again.

I am a survivor.

And I stand with a more God centered relationship than ever before.

I am a survivor.

My faith is stronger and more focused than ever before.

I am a survivor.

But the experience has changed me.

I am a survivor.

But it can never be erased in the tablet of who I am that, at one time, I had to fight to survive.

That is good. I can relate.

Thank-you for sharing.

Blessings, Rhoni

So are you a victim or a survivor????

I'm going through MENOPAUSE~ You tell me~......