I have a few short and sweet ones that come to mind...
Marriage is an institution... but who wants to live in an instiution?
Q: What do a Kansas tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common? A: Either way, somebody's gonna end up losing a a trailer.
I went to the bookstore and asked the clerk to direct me toward the "self help" section. He said that would defeat the purpose.
A wayward preacher was stopped by a cop for driving eratically one night. In between his legs was a paper bag containing a bottle. The officer asked, Sir, what's in the bag and that bottle? The preacher said "water". The officer reached in and took hold of the bottle and brought it to his nose to smell it. After a quick whiff, he exclaimed "Sir, that's not water, its wine!". The preacher exclaimed, Bless God, he did it again!!
__________________ http://endtimeobserver.blogspot.com
Daniel 12:3 And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars for ever.
I have a few short and sweet ones that come to mind...
Marriage is an institution... but who wants to live in an instiution?
Q: What do a Kansas tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common? A: Either way, somebody's gonna end up losing a a trailer.
I went to the bookstore and asked the clerk to direct me toward the "self help" section. He said that would defeat the purpose.
A wayward preacher was stopped by a cop for driving eratically one night. In between his legs was a paper bag containing a bottle. The officer asked, Sir, what's in the bag and that bottle? The preacher said "water". The officer reached in and took hold of the bottle and brought it to his nose to smell it. After a quick whiff, he exclaimed "Sir, that's not water, its wine!". The preacher exclaimed, Bless God, he did it again!!
That's funny. The last one remined me of something. Has anyone here ever heard of Tim Stivers? (I think that was his name)
__________________
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Houston.
Either the United States will destroy ignorance, or ignorance will destroy the United States. – W.E.B. DuBois
A married couple are in a terrible car crash. The wife dies instantly. At the pearly gates, Peter tells her there is a simple requirement to get into Heaven.
"You must spell a word."
Lady says "what word?"
"Any word you want. You pick one and spell it correctly, then in ya go. It's a technicality, hard to explain."
"OK. Cat. C - A - T."
"In ya go. But first, I really need a break. Would you mind watching the gate for a while? You know how it works."
"No problem."
A minute later, the husband succumbs to his injuries and shows up at the gate, and sees his wife there.
Wife says "all you have to do to get in is spell a word."
Husband says "what word?"
"Chrysanthemum."
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Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty
This is not a joke, but it made me laugh pretty good. I love how he tried to ignore the initial sound of the chair giving way....There's a sermon in there somewhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxIeDstWPos
__________________
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Houston.
Either the United States will destroy ignorance, or ignorance will destroy the United States. – W.E.B. DuBois
This is not a joke, but it made me laugh pretty good. I love how he tried to ignore the initial sound of the chair giving way....There's a sermon in there somewhere.
A married couple are in a terrible car crash. The wife dies instantly. At the pearly gates, Peter tells her there is a simple requirement to get into Heaven.
"You must spell a word."
Lady says "what word?"
"Any word you want. You pick one and spell it correctly, then in ya go. It's a technicality, hard to explain."
"OK. Cat. C - A - T."
"In ya go. But first, I really need a break. Would you mind watching the gate for a while? You know how it works."
"No problem."
A minute later, the husband succumbs to his injuries and shows up at the gate, and sees his wife there.
Wife says "all you have to do to get in is spell a word."
I never knew what true happiness was until I got married....But by then it was too late.
(I figure I may as well get all the way in trouble)
On the evening of his wedding anniversary, after a romantic candlelight dinner, the husband says to his wife:
"My darling, I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-------------
also...
A man told his son who was about to get married:
"Son, every man should know hat there are 3 rings associated with every marriage.
First the engagement ring.
Then the wedding ring.
And then the suffering."
__________________ http://endtimeobserver.blogspot.com
Daniel 12:3 And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars for ever.
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