many years ago a young man and young lady were got married.
When they left the church in their buggie, not far down the road, the mule pulling the buggie began to act up.
The young man stopped the buggie, walked around in front of the buggie and held up one finger and said very distinctly "That is One!"
then he got back in the buggie and drove on.
some time later the mule acted up again. Again the young man stopped the buggey and walked around in front of the mule.
Holding up 2 fingers, the young man stated "That is two".
when they turned into the drive of their new home, the mule acted up once more. The young man stopped, walked around in front of the mule and said " that is three!" then he shot the mule dead in its tracks.
As he was unhooking the dead mule from the buggie, his lovely young bride said "now why did you go and do that?!?!?!?"
To which the young man stood up, looked her in the eyes and said "that is one!"
I know it is long. but it is a good read.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
LOL! Have you ever tried to hug my wife when she was mad?
Well...NO. LOL!!!!
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
Your role is to provide your wife's needs, and serve your family. The way you "assert" that authority is by your actions; not your words. Lead by example, and love your wife unconditionally. The rest will fall into place.
Well this is what I try to do, and my wife is a good woman and understands when I'm just immature. What prompted my asking, I guess, is this post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanie
I have wondered the same thing!
In my marriage, my husband has no problem letting me know he is the head of the house!
I often wondered why other men don't do the same thing when married to a woman that likes to take charge.
I guess Jeanie or Keith would have to address this one if they had the time and inclination...it would seem if they were following BRAT's posting then it wouldn't be so much of a "let me know all the sudden" sort of thing. But maybe they do it different in California
My husband and I are both strong willed individuals and we had difficulty when we were first married. From my perspective, the more a husband shows his wife that he respects and listens to her, the easier it is for her to submit.
And if it is an issue, set aside a time to sit down and have a non-heated, honest discussion.
The bolded is the clencher for me. There's a fine line there. What does "respect and listen" mean? And how do you show that? "Hi, Honey, I'm listening?
The hard part is when you disagree, and I think this is where the difficulty comes in, when you have to say, "hey I'm the boss and my decision rules"...how do you say that nicely?
I don't want anyone to think we're having problems, b/c we're not, but it's always good to try to improve.
In our home, being the head of the house comes with the most responsibility and obligation...so maybe that prevents anyone from wanting to take over that position unnecessarily? (*anyone* meaning ME)
Really, sequidor, if there's a woman in the house who likes to "take charge", just from my observation, it often means that she doesn't trust her husband to lead the home effectively, or perhaps she doesn't think he has her best interests at heart. And getting your wife to trust you is really what you have to do. When I see my husband consistently loving me, loving our kids, providing for us to the best of his ability, spending quality time with me and the kids...doing the things that matter to US? Well, I have no problem then trusting his leadership and allowing him to have the final say on an infinite number of things.
You do realize that I do LET him have the final say...right? Because I am another adult in this household, my submission is voluntary, and a decision I make. I can't be forced into it. The couples I have seen who seem to be the happiest are the ones in which there is a lot of serving one another, and less of the "I'm the boss; you're the peon" mentality.
Bottom line: If you have to verbally assert that you're the "head of the house"--you probably aren't.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
In our home, being the head of the house comes with the most responsibility and obligation...so maybe that prevents anyone from wanting to take over that position unnecessarily? (*anyone* meaning ME)
Really, sequidor, if there's a woman in the house who likes to "take charge", just from my observation, it often means that she doesn't trust her husband to lead the home effectively, or perhaps she doesn't think he has her best interests at heart. And getting your wife to trust you is really what you have to do. When I see my husband consistently loving me, loving our kids, providing for us to the best of his ability, spending quality time with me and the kids...doing the things that matter to US? Well, I have no problem then trusting his leadership and allowing him to have the final say on an infinite number of things.
You do realize that I do LET him have the final say...right? Because I am another adult in this household, my submission is voluntary, and a decision I make. I can't be forced into it. The couples I have seen who seem to be the happiest are the ones in which there is a lot of serving one another, and less of the "I'm the boss; you're the peon" mentality.
Bottom line: If you have to verbally assert that you're the "head of the house"--you probably aren't.
The bolded is the clencher for me. There's a fine line there. What does "respect and listen" mean? And how do you show that? "Hi, Honey, I'm listening?
I know my husband is really listening when he acknowledges the value of what I'm saying. And especially when what I say affects change in him. I give him the same respect. It means you truly care about your wife's opinions, and you value her advice and input on every matter.
Quote:
The hard part is when you disagree, and I think this is where the difficulty comes in, when you have to say, "hey I'm the boss and my decision rules"...how do you say that nicely?
There's no way to say that nicely. And if its a decision that will affect both of you, it really ought to be agreed upon, if at all possible.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
Haha, I sense some UNDERTONES in that little sentence.
Really, this is the last thing I will say on the matter: If you want to know how to be a good leader, ask the men whose wives (and children) adore them!
DON'T ask the men who go around crowing about how they're the "boss", and how women MUST submit. THOSE men do not know the secrets to good relationships. And, what's amazing is, the first group of men have wives who *surprise surprise* submit to their authority.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
The bolded is the clencher for me. There's a fine line there. What does "respect and listen" mean? And how do you show that? "Hi, Honey, I'm listening?
The hard part is when you disagree, and I think this is where the difficulty comes in, when you have to say, "hey I'm the boss and my decision rules"...how do you say that nicely?
I don't want anyone to think we're having problems, b/c we're not, but it's always good to try to improve.
The way I know my husband respects and listens to me is that he acquiesces to my superior knowledge on occasion. He doesn't always do things HIS way because HE'S the one in charge. We discuss things and even if we disagree I know that he has taken my thoughts into consideration.
And I agree with Miss B. I voluntarily submit and let him be the leader. If he demanded it, we wouldn't be nearly as happy.
Lead by example, and love your wife unconditionally. The rest will fall into place.
then it wouldn't be so much of a "let me know all the sudden" sort of thing. But maybe they do it different in California 
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