Just for clarification, I haven't read second book, I was referring to the first one "TO TRAIN UP A CHILD" BY MICHAEL & DEBI PEARL , I know that these people are pretty extreme, my best friends family follow them and their lifestyle. It is different to say the least. The other book sounds interesting, (in a point and laugh kind of way.)
I wouldn't treat either as the bible, but they both have some good information in them that CAN make a difference in child training, and in a marriage.
I wouldn't treat either as the bible, but they both have some good information in them that CAN make a difference in child training, and in a marriage.
There is some good information in Fascinating Womanhood. Perhaps I didn't like the way some of my friends interpreted it and put it into practice. It seems to lead, ultimately, to scheming and dishonest interaction, where every sweet nature is employed as a means to a selfish end.
For the record, we are to do unto others as we would have them do unto us...that is, treat others as nicely as we would like to be treated. We are not, however, supposed to be nice to others for the purpose of getting them to be nice to us in return.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
There is some good information in Fascinating Womanhood. Perhaps I didn't like the way some of my friends interpreted it and put it into practice. It seems to lead, ultimately, to scheming and dishonest interaction, where every sweet nature is employed as a means to a selfish end.
For the record, we are to do unto others as we would have them do unto us...that is, treat others as nicely as we would like to be treated. We are not, however, supposed to be nice to others for the purpose of getting them to be nice to us in return.
Well, I cheated and read the book after my wife did. But I didn't come away from it with the impression that it was meant to promote a woman manipulating and being nice to get. Of course It was probably 10 years ago at least that I read it, and I was happy for my wife to manipulate me by being nice to me!
MRS, Thank you for your insightful response, you have been most helpful!!
I "know" that being consistant is the main key, I have preached this for years to others seeking advice. But it is the hardest thing I have ever done, he has always been an angel, and we have never realy had any problems with her, so to be crossing this bridge with her is odd. Everyone always tells me how well behaved she is and what a wonderful job I have done raising her. I'm not saying that at home she's lying in the floor kicking and screaming, or trying to attack me physically, but her attitude sticks and I admitt I have not been consistant about correcting her. I plan to change that this evening! We are going to post the rules and the consequences and go over them with her tonight. There will be consequences for each time she "mouths off" and I will follow through. I am so done with this stuff!!
You're very welcome.
I don't usually stick my nose into other people's business on raising their kids, cuz they're all so different, and we all have different philosophies about how to do it. And I certainly am not going to hold myself up as a great example as I have struggled with so much of this through the years myself. But I just felt like jumping in today...it wasn't necessarily directed at you, or your situation, but more of general ramblings, and experience from hindsight. I see so many struggle with this with their children, and it's a shame. The effects of a disrespectful child only worsens with age, and when they hit their teen years, they become someone you don't even know. When I see these kids go screaming by in the seat of the shopping cart, I just can't hardly stand it.
I understand what you're saying about her 'changing'...believe me, it's only the beginning. She will continue to change, and bring new attitudes, and new frustrations with each phase of growing up and maturing. She may have just seen another child do something similar and experimented with it by trying it out on you.
And you're not the only parent that these types of problems have crept up on. I was the same way many times. They would start doing something, and I wouldn't tune into it until it was a big problem. These things just have a way of sneaking up on you, and then BAM! reality finally hits, and you are just DONE with it. Time to go into full battle gear and attack mode!
At least you're still ahead of the game for recognizing it, and doing something about it. Good job!
I don't usually stick my nose into other people's business on raising their kids, cuz they're all so different, and we all have different philosophies about how to do it. And I certainly am not going to hold myself up as a great example as I have struggled with so much of this through the years myself. But I just felt like jumping in today...it wasn't necessarily directed at you, or your situation, but more of general ramblings, and experience from hindsight. I see so many struggle with this with their children, and it's a shame. The effects of a disrespectful child only worsens with age, and when they hit their teen years, they become someone you don't even know. When I see these kids go screaming by in the seat of the shopping cart, I just can't hardly stand it.
I understand what you're saying about her 'changing'...believe me, it's only the beginning. She will continue to change, and bring new attitudes, and new frustrations with each phase of growing up and maturing. She may have just seen another child do something similar and experimented with it by trying it out on you.
And you're not the only parent that these types of problems have crept up on. I was the same way many times. They would start doing something, and I wouldn't tune into it until it was a big problem. These things just have a way of sneaking up on you, and then BAM! reality finally hits, and you are just DONE with it. Time to go into full battle gear and attack mode!
At least you're still ahead of the game for recognizing it, and doing something about it. Good job!
OK......I'm glad to report that things ended up very well last night, it took some doing but I did get through to her.
The begining was rough because the attitude reared it's ugly little head, but once I found Daddy's belt and it was very visible then the lines of communication opened right up.
Anyway, things seem to be on track, I told her what I would and would not accept. The whole plan is posted on the refrigerator and it is the begining of a whole new relationship!!
Linear Mode
