The Role Of The Man!

[jwharv]

I thought it would be Good for us to discuss the clearly defined roles for men laid out in scripture. This has been a subject not brought out very well to the men of my age. For instance I believe it is the reason we have so many fatherless homes and the divorce rate is sky rocketing. The Bible clearly lays out the Rols of a Man in family and Life in general and it needs to be taught more especialy to the younger men with in the church.

[seguidordejesus]

Bad night at home, compadre? LOL

[jwharv]

Originally Posted by seguidordejesus

Bad night at home, compadre? LOL

Nope, this is actualy a question I posted a very long time ago on another board and never got a single response to. So I thought I would pose it here.................

[jwharv]

The Husbands Duty!
By: Jason Harvell

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

As a married man these scriptures have meant a lot to me over the past 5 years. It is a great commandment to us as men as to how we are to treat our wives. So many times we can put our families especially our wives on the back burner and think about jobs, hobbies, or ourselves first. However let me ask you does Christ place anything before the Church? Are we not first in his mind?

We sometimes suffer from a lack of sense as a man I can say that. It is inherit for some reason in men for us to want things to go our way or the highway. However as married men we have someone else to consider in every situation in life. Would you ever send your head across town and leave your body at home? When we make any decision with out considering your wife and how it will affect her and the relationship between you that's exactly what you have done. A head is useless with out a body! It can tell an arm to move but with out an arm there what good is it.

A lot of people use this scripture to say "I will die for my wife" but so few are willing to do what it really says and live for her. Do all you can for her. Tell her you love her. Jesus clearly lets the church know in so many ways how much He loves it. Jesus does things for the church beyond imagination and never ask anything in return. We should never treat our wives in a way that when we do any little thing for them we expect to receive payment or reward. This is a strong commandment concerning marriage and one when put into practice would save a lot of marriages from divorce. I found the following poem I will leave you with.



Tell Her So
Amid the cares of married life,
In spite of toil and business strife,
If you value your sweet wife,
Tell her so!
There was a time you thought it bliss
To get the favor of a kiss;
A dozen now won't come amiss-
Tell her so!
Do not act as if she has passed her prime,
As though to please her were a crime-
If e'er you loved her, now is the time;
Tell her so!
Never let her heart grow cold;
Richer beauties will unfold.
She is worth her weight in gold;
Tell her so!

[OP_Carl]

A man's first responsibility is to continually lead his wife to Christ. Talk about the sermons you hear together and share any special insights you have. You both might benefit from this comparing of perspectives, but it is your responsibility to ensure she understood the message.

Lead your family in prayer. Lead your family in enthusiasm for God and for church attendance. Lead your family in financial responsibility.

Jason is correct that the man living for his wife needs to be emphasized.

But the notion of the man dying for his wife must not be de-emphasized. So many men are wandering in search of meaning in their lives. When a woman holds her first-born, she is overcome with a sense of meaning for her life. But a man's life has value and meaning only insomuch as he is willing to lay it down for others. This is more than just chivalry, and the parallels to warrior cultures and military life, while appropriate, must be carefully drawn because not everything carries over to the Christian life. But learning to embue the principles of bravery, honor, and truthfulness will give any man newfound confidence in himself and to succeed.

A man must also take the lead in resolving those "domestic disputes." Somebody must lead the effort for reconciliation, promotion of understanding, apologies, and agreement. The wisdom in this concern is in knowing what things are worth standing your ground for, and what things call for compromise. The man should take the lead to ensure that the sun doesn't go down on either of your wrath. In these times it is helpful to remember that the woman is the weaker vessel. It is harder for her to overcome pride, prejudice and vanity. Lead her out by your Godly example.

I could get in to the reasons why our culture finds itself over-run by several generations of adult boys, but let's suppose that that is either already understood or too lengthy to discuss without changing topics.


Here is the other half of the equation: All of the leadership and self-sacrifice in the world won't help a marriage if the woman isn't worthy of the sacrifice. All you've got to do is listen to Dr. Laura in the car for an hour or two to realize that our nation is filled with men who go through the motions of doing the right things, and their wives mistreat them anyway. Specifically, what I am talking about are women who do not honor or respect their husbands even though the husbands behave honorably and respectably. The women in such cases focus in on the minutia of the man's imperfections, and can't see the forest for the trees. The bases are covered, i.e., he goes to work, brings home the check, stays faithful, isn't abusive, takes care of things at home, and yet she is willing to run the course of the marriage under the yellow flag because she doesn't like some aspect, trait, or habit.

At the root of this is ingratitude, but for our purposes here the main issue is to nip this in the bud by selecting the right kind of woman in the first place. A man must train his son what to look for in a wife. There's more to it than a pretty face. The best way to evaluate a woman is to watch her interact with her family. Does her mother adore her father? That's a good sign. How does her mother treat her father? If her father isn't present in the home, how does her mother respond to authority? How does her mother respond to male authority? How does the girl treat her father? How does she treat her mother? How does she treat strangers that cannot possibly do anything for her? A young man of maritable age would do well to read the book of Proverbs first.

This isn't to say that God can't change a specific woman's nature. But your marriage will have the best chance for success if she has at least had the opportunity to pick up the most beneficial habits. Presuming that you are committed to striving to attain all that you can in Christian manhood, of course. Both oars need to be in the water.

Before a man looks to be married, he should wander down some grocery store aisles to get a price check on diapers and formula. Then he should do a little minivan math. Are you financially prepared to provide shelter, food and clothing for at least two people? If you aren't you have the main strike against you before you even begin. If you can afford it, you still have to prepare yourself emotionally to sacrifice some of your bachelor extravagances. You'll need to save money for things like orthodontia, college, and weddings. A woman cannot be at her best in a marriage unless she feels secure. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create an environment that isn't one paycheck away from doom.

[Jesuswins]

Originally Posted by jwharv

I thought it would be Good for us to discuss the clearly defined roles for men laid out in scripture. This has been a subject not brought out very well to the men of my age. For instance I believe it is the reason we have so many fatherless homes and the divorce rate is sky rocketing. The Bible clearly lays out the Rols of a Man in family and Life in general and it needs to be taught more especialy to the younger men with in the church.

I'm curious to know how you evaluate your "role" as the man of your house?

[jwharv]

Originally Posted by Jesuswins

I'm curious to know how you evaluate your "role" as the man of your house?

Read my 3rd post...........................

[OP_Carl]

You're not getting much traffic on this topic, are you Jason?

Christianity has been predominately female for centuries. Like it or not, we Apostolics have that in common with the Catholics, Anglicans, Lutherans etc.

Somebody here linked to an article recently that discussed the reasons why Christianity doesn't appeal to masculine men, and the reasons why the church has become feminized.

Modes and songs of worship have become feminized. The entire church experience is designed to provide a sense of security and comfort; it's designed to appeal to women. The rare opportunities for a masculine man to participate in leadership are usually already filled by the pastor, his family, and the church board. So just like in higher education, the masculine men decide, somewhat rightly so, that it's not geared for them, there's no place for them to grow, and they opt out and find something more engaging to do with their time.

The Muslims and the Greek Orthodox church have greater male involvement, but both of these faiths also preach total male dominion of the home and marriage(s).

Your more rowdy men are also opting out of marriage, since our feminized American society gives women the upper hand. Wives don't need to commit themselves to making their marriages work like they used to, since they know they can fall back on the full force of the law and the courts to coerce men into conforming to their wishes. Men, choose your wives carefully . . .

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by OP_Carl

You're not getting much traffic on this topic, are you Jason?

Christianity has been predominately female for centuries. Like it or not, we Apostolics have that in common with the Catholics, Anglicans, Lutherans etc.

Somebody here linked to an article recently that discussed the reasons why Christianity doesn't appeal to masculine men, and the reasons why the church has become feminized.

Modes and songs of worship have become feminized. The entire church experience is designed to provide a sense of security and comfort; it's designed to appeal to women. The rare opportunities for a masculine man to participate in leadership are usually already filled by the pastor, his family, and the church board. So just like in higher education, the masculine men decide, somewhat rightly so, that it's not geared for them, there's no place for them to grow, and they opt out and find something more engaging to do with their time.

The Muslims and the Greek Orthodox church have greater male involvement, but both of these faiths also preach total male dominion of the home and marriage(s).

Your more rowdy men are also opting out of marriage, since our feminized American society gives women the upper hand. Wives don't need to commit themselves to making their marriages work like they used to, since they know they can fall back on the full force of the law and the courts to coerce men into conforming to their wishes. Men, choose your wives carefully . . .

very true.

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Hate-G.../dp/0785260382

[DividedThigh]

this is a agood post, men are clearly missing in action in to many areas of this life, good for you guys for talking about this, it is worth it, if one more man steps up to the plate from hearing or reading this, god bless you,dt