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07-18-2011, 10:23 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 238
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Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
A pastor's spouse dies.
How long should he wait before he dates or remarries?
Is there an expected and/or appropriate length of time?
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07-18-2011, 10:28 AM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
Isn't one year the rule of thumb from a proper etiquette POV? But beyond that, who cares? Really? If I die first and my husband is lonely and finds someone to make him happy, I'm fine with him remarrying someone inside of 6 months. Or whatever time frame works for him. If my husband is faithful to me until death, that's good enough. 
I've never understood the need to dictate how long people have to grieve or how they are allowed to move past grief or what they're allowed to do after a spouse dies.
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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07-18-2011, 10:35 AM
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Sister Alvear
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Brazil, SA
Posts: 27,038
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
I agree...
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07-18-2011, 10:39 AM
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Supercalifragilisticexpiali...
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 19,197
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
There is more to consider than the spouse who is grieving. The children, family and extended family are all grieving as well. There should be some consideration given to them as well. I think it would make a difference whether the death was sudden or expected too.
__________________
"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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06-20-2012, 02:39 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Deep South
Posts: 1,094
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoovie
There is more to consider than the spouse who is grieving. The children, family and extended family are all grieving as well. There should be some consideration given to them as well. I think it would make a difference whether the death was sudden or expected too.
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I agree, Hoovie. Especially if there are children involved. Even if they're adults.
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07-18-2011, 11:30 AM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
I know a Nazarene pastor that has been widowed 2 or 3 times. I think a year or so is best.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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07-18-2011, 11:41 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
I don't believe there is any specific amount of time she (or he) would need to wait however I do think a little common sense needs to be followed. If I died and my wife found a good guy, I'd be thrilled for her. On the other hand, if I died and she found a good guy and he was driving around a new Lexus bought and paid for by my life insurance policy -three months after my funeral, you can BET I would be haunting them in the worst way possible!
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07-18-2011, 11:49 AM
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Supercalifragilisticexpiali...
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 19,197
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandyWayne
I don't believe there is any specific amount of time she (or he) would need to wait however I do think a little common sense needs to be followed. If I died and my wife found a good guy, I'd be thrilled for her. On the other hand, if I died and she found a good guy and he was driving around a new Lexus bought and paid for by my life insurance policy -three months after my funeral, you can BET I would be haunting them in the worst way possible!
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Why could you not just be happy for them... look what she had to put up with all those years!
__________________
"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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06-20-2012, 01:08 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 347
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandyWayne
I don't believe there is any specific amount of time she (or he) would need to wait however I do think a little common sense needs to be followed. If I died and my wife found a good guy, I'd be thrilled for her. On the other hand, if I died and she found a good guy and he was driving around a new Lexus bought and paid for by my life insurance policy -three months after my funeral, you can BET I would be haunting them in the worst way possible!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoovie
Why could you not just be happy for them... look what she had to put up with all those years!
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 lol.
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06-20-2012, 01:50 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5,600
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Re: Widowed Preachers & Remarriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoovie
Why could you not just be happy for them... look what she had to put up with all those years!
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