Random Jokery

Digging4Truth · #1 12-30-2010, 05:28 PM

Yeah... I know. Jokery is not a word. Or at least it wasn't a few minutes ago.

This is the thread for the random jokes that find their way through our heads from time to time. There are times I think of a joke but who wants to open a whole thread over one joke.

So... I'm going to share the joke going through my head now and you can use this thread when you want to share your own if you want to.

So...

There was guy explaining what a macho man he was. He said "Yeah... a while back I told my wife that if she didn't like it she could just leave. Man... I didn't see her for two weeks. And after about two weeks I could see her a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit out of my left eye."

Praxeas · #2 12-30-2010, 05:35 PM

Yuckery is not a word either, but be my guest if anyone wants to use this nifty new word I just coined

Hoovie · #3 12-30-2010, 06:50 PM

How about I change the thread title to "The Jester's Court"?

Praxeas · #4 12-30-2010, 07:27 PM

how about "Random Hooey"?

Digging4Truth · #5 12-30-2010, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

how about "Random Hooey"?

Hey... the hooey on AFF is anything but random.

Digging4Truth · #6 12-30-2010, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoovie

How about I change the thread title to "The Jester's Court"?

Hey... all three words are actually words. It could just work.

Go for it.

Esther · #7 02-02-2011, 07:36 PM

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed.My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."Guess where I am now...

BeenThinkin · #8 02-02-2011, 07:45 PM

I'm sure everyone knows the answer to this question, but here goes!

Do you know why preachers eat so much chicken? Well it seems that since that rooster told off on Peter for denying the Lord we've been trying to eat them all up!

Okay..Random Hooey, Jokery, whatever! Now why did my spell checker show Jokery as being misspelled?

Been Thinkin

RandyWayne · #9 02-02-2011, 07:59 PM

Even though they don't have the same punchline as a written joke, I keep thinking of some of the best practical jokes I've seen (and occasionally done) on others.

Best one I heard of:

During the late 80's a couple of Microsoft employees would go into their managers office and add a new layer of drywall and paint to one wall in his office, effectively shortening the room by about 6 inches. They did this every few weekends for a couple of months. The guy never noticed (or so he said) until the room had shrunk by several feet.

Another good one described (but am sure didn't REALLY happen):

Jim adds a few quarters to Dwight's phone every other day, and then removed them all one morning causing Dwight to hit himself in the face when answering.

One I did:

Add a small program to a co-workers computer which inserted random characters into whatever she was typing based only on how fast she typed. The faster she got, the more misspellings. When she backspaced to correct them, the characters appeared correctly. This was great fun!

Esther · #10 02-02-2011, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Even though they don't have the same punchline as a written joke, I keep thinking of some of the best practical jokes I've seen (and occasionally done) on others.

Best one I heard of:

During the late 80's a couple of Microsoft employees would go into their managers office and add a new layer of drywall and paint to one wall in his office, effectively shortening the room by about 6 inches. They did this every few weekends for a couple of months. The guy never noticed (or so he said) until the room had shrunk by several feet.

Another good one described (but am sure didn't REALLY happen):

Jim adds a few quarters to Dwight's phone every other day, and then removed them all one morning causing Dwight to hit himself in the face when answering.

One I did:

Add a small program to a co-workers computer which inserted random characters into whatever she was typing based only on how fast she typed. The faster she got, the more misspellings. When she backspaced to correct them, the characters appeared correctly. This was great fun!

And you lived to tell it. Amazing!