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Birth Order of Children
My Uncle Mike just sent this to me and I wanted to share.
BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN:
lst Baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd Baby : You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd Baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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PREPARING FOR THE BIRTH:
1st baby : You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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THE LAYETTE:
1st baby : You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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WORRIES:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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PACIFIER:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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DIAPERING:
1st baby : You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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ACTIVITIES:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take you infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take you infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
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GOING OUT:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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AT HOME:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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SWALLOWING COINS (A FAVORITE):
1st child. When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallow a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance.
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GRANDCHILDREN:
God's reward for allowing your children to live.
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