Notice to all Employees

[Sandra]

Subject: Notice to All Employees



As of November 5, 2008, if President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All sales people will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a fair shake.

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are too busy for overtime to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as the government. We will not participate in this pooling experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The government will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard for the good of all.

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's good to spread the wealth. Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more patriotic.

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free foods stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flatscreen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies take it up with yourself on November 4th while you are still free to do so.

[commonsense]

tic, but well done!


we can only hope that there are people able to think for themselves and not just follow the party line.

[HappyTown]

Originally Posted by Sandra

Subject: Notice to All Employees



As of November 5, 2008, if President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All sales people will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a fair shake.

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are too busy for overtime to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as the government. We will not participate in this pooling experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The government will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard for the good of all.

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's good to spread the wealth. Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more patriotic.

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free foods stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flatscreen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies take it up with yourself on November 4th while you are still free to do so.

This sounds very much like what we have in place already!

I'd love to have a flatscreen TV.