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  #1  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:38 PM
Ron's Avatar
Ron Ron is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,396
Talking Man Rules!

Taken from another forum.
I think he has something here!

Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down



Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1 Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't as k us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
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  #2  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:40 PM
Pressing-On's Avatar
Pressing-On Pressing-On is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
Re: Man Rules!

Women's Rules

First, foremost and final - Ignore all rules of man!

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  #3  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:43 PM
DanielR's Avatar
DanielR DanielR is offline
You are called unto liberty


 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Springfield, Mo
Posts: 486
Re: Man Rules!

yep, seen this many times before. I like it very much, in fact my favorite point is #1.
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  #4  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:43 PM
Cindy's Avatar
Cindy Cindy is offline
Forever Loved Admin


 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
Re: Man Rules!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron View Post
Taken from another forum.
I think he has something here!

Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down



Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1 Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't as k us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
I already answered these rules on here once, do a search.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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  #5  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:45 PM
AmazingGrace AmazingGrace is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Dallas,Tx
Posts: 6,978
Re: Man Rules!

I do NOT have enough clothes

I do NOT have enough shoes

I do NOT have enough purses!!
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  #6  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:46 PM
Pressing-On's Avatar
Pressing-On Pressing-On is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
Re: Man Rules!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmazingGrace View Post
I do NOT have enough clothes

I do NOT have enough shoes

I do NOT have enough purses!!
Right!

1. Read Man Rules

2. Ignore Man Rules

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  #7  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:50 PM
DanielR's Avatar
DanielR DanielR is offline
You are called unto liberty


 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Springfield, Mo
Posts: 486
Re: Man Rules!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pressing-On View Post
Right!

1. Read Man Rules

2. Ignore Man Rules

1. Read Man Rules

2. There is no #2, go back to #1
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  #8  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:50 PM
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Pressing-On Pressing-On is offline
Not riding the train


 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
Re: Man Rules!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielR View Post
1. Read Man Rules

2. There is no #2, go back to #1
Women always have a #2 - GET OVER IT!!!!!

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  #9  
Old 04-29-2008, 10:54 PM
DanielR's Avatar
DanielR DanielR is offline
You are called unto liberty


 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Springfield, Mo
Posts: 486
Re: Man Rules!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pressing-On View Post
Women always have a #2 - GET OVER IT!!!!!



Wrong set of rules, we are talking man rules in this thread. If you want to have a #2 start your own girly rules thread...lol

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  #10  
Old 04-29-2008, 11:16 PM
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Ron Ron is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,396
Re: Man Rules!

Two rules I go by in my house.

Rule #1 The Man is always right!

Rule #2 If the man is ever wrong see rule #!
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