I think there is a certain "High" from think we are it.The truth is though We infact are not it,Jesus is.I totaly understand where you are .I have been guilty of it ,trying to fit in to what others feel that being Christian is,trying to look Apostolic at the expence of who I am, and giving up the freedom to PLEASE JESUS.I did say freedom,Trying to follow the LAW is death to freedom.Read
Acts 15 see what the apostles required.The one verse that freed me up is
Act 15:10.