Rhoni.... I've just read this thread and am blown away with the circumstance of your son's wedding. May the heart-mender bind your broken heart and give you special peace and comfort in the days ahead.
I think you did a GREAT thing by setting the boundary regarding your family and your attendance/payment for the rehearsal dinner. Stick to your guns, sister!
Have a blessed day!
P.S. not that it is any of my business - but is your ex still in the ministry???