[Barb]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

To all those who read this column: Many times counselors/therapists become counselors/therapists because they have unresolved issues that they need to understand and hope that in the counseling process with others...that things will come to light within themselves so they can make sense of and resolve the past. Such it has been with me.

I am fortunate to have good friends who speak the truth to me even when they know it will hurt. Love makes all the difference. With this in mind, I want to say that it has been brought to my attention by a good friend that I appear to post with bitterness about my ex-husband and his family. We have been divorced for 14 years and he has been married for 14 years in June to someone else. The separation and divorce were extremely difficult for me for many reasons, one of which was the fact I married a preacher on purpose. The purpose being that they did not get divorced. Divorce has been transgenerational in my family. I thought I would be the one to break the curse. I was wrong. The divorce was traumatic for me and compounded by the fact that I was handicapped by a severe car accident, a single parent, and unemployed.

My children have been put in the middle for the majority of their lives and have never been able to make peace with it. I have only thought about myself since my son got engaged and not about him. I know that he didn't purposely leave myself and my family out of the loop, and I know he loves me more than I even realize. It was wrong of me to make his private issues public for all to know and comment about. This was wrong of me. I love my children and grandchildren very much. They are and have been my world for quite sometime. They will always be an integral part, the best part of my life and even the best of me.

There is NOTHING they can do to make me not love them. I am sorry that they, like myself are products of a divorce. As a Christian Counselor I know there is healing for all those involved. I have NO DESIRE to ever go back to my ex-husband. I have not loved him for longer than I can remember, but I wish him no ill will, nor that of his family. I am glad that he is happily married to someone he can share his life with.

The anger and bitterness are not there anymore. There will always be a part of me hurt because of my high expectations that were not met, but I forgave them way back in 2003 and I am praying that God will free me of the hurt I feel whenever there is a family function that puts us in the same room, the same gathering, the same circle of family and friends.

Please feel free to PM me if you think I am posting without thinking. I am hereby declaring the war over and love and peace to abound in my life, with my children and grandchildren. Forgive me forum members, and children for making our private issues public. I will do my best to post more responsibily.

Love & Blessings, Rhonda/Mom

Good for you, girl!! This is perfect...go to the wedding and enjoy your family. You all deserve happiness...