Quote:
Originally Posted by Birddog
Yes, the government might need to stay out of the marriage business. But reality does need to surface here.
If you are going to follow the train of thought that is being suggested here then there are some things to be considered also.
Like....
Property ownership.
Children.
Retirement and pensions....
If you are willing to totally revamp you life the go ahead.
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Excellent point.
To many, those things aren't important to them.
However, issues relating to property ownership can be handled through wills, powers of attorney, and (in some states) cohabitation agreements.
Issues relating to children are already handled routinely by the courts in most states seeing that many couples have children without having entered into a civil marriage. One would want to check their state's laws on this issue because laws can vary from state to state.
Rewarded benefits regarding retirement and pensions after the death of a spouse are the only things that cannot typically be handled outside of a civil marriage.
To those in a civil marriage, this would indeed be a terrible revamping of their lives. I wouldn't recommend it. If one is in a civil marriage it is best to stay there.
But for those who are not in a civil marriage, I'd still recommend that they seek one. However, I do understand that many couples for various reasons do not desire to have a civil marriage. Reasons I've encountered are:
- Divorcees are often leery of re-entering a civil marriage if the family court system and divorce statutes raked them over the coals or imposed a perceived injustice upon them. For example, I know of a man whose wife abandoned him and refused to file for divorce. He didn't have the money for an attorney and she basically kept him in limbo for over 5 years. She moved away, dated, and moved on with her life without a care in the world. He was in a living hell begging churches, attorneys, and friends for help. Eventually she wanted to remarry and agreed to a disillusion on the cheap. But he was in limbo for over five years before she relented. Had she not done this, he fears he'd still be legally married to her. This man flat out refuses to get a civil marriage again. lol Others report shady tactics by attorneys and biased courts that cost them multiplied thousands of dollars and wrecked everything they had worked for and crushed a family business they had inherited. As this man said when I asked if he'd ever marry his girlfriend, "Nope. Never again." People who have had these unfortunate experiences in the court system commonly prefer a Commitment Ceremony.
- Retirees often run the risk of losing various pension and Social Security benefits upon entering a civil marriage. For many, these benefits are a matter of economic or medical survival. They do not feel that it is entirely fair that the benefits gained after being faithful for decades to a now deceased spouse should just be erased upon remarrying. Especially when losing such benefits would cause significant hardship relating to finances and much needed medical coverage. They feel that until the laws change to protect their interests and honor the time and dedication they put into a previous marriage they are best off having a Commitment Ceremony.
- Mature couples who understand the civil marriage statutes often fear getting entangled in a civil marriage due to the liabilities it brings. Many have had parents, friends, or loved one's experience the horrors mentioned above. These individuals often refused to get married because they often feared the same could happen to them. Now that they are more mature and getting older they don't want to be alone. They want to settle down. However, they are still rather afraid of what could happen if the marriage fails. It is rather common for these individuals to ask about Commitment Ceremonies.
Some churches and religious bodies are compassionate and accommodating for these couples. That's why they perform Commitment Ceremonies to unite such couples in the eyes of God, even if they encourage civil marriage. Ultimately, they leave the decision up to the couple in question.