[*AQuietPlace*]

In my opinion, this isn't really a submission issue to begin with. Maybe in part - but the real question is, what do you do when a husband and wife have deep disagreements about a religious belief? (and that's only one of many issues she will face now that she has a different viewpoint on the standards, etc) And trust me, this is a DEEP disagreement.

When an issue this big crops up in a marriage, it needs to be dealt with with great care. Yes, mrsnt needs to be very cautious, does not need to rush into ANYTHING. But she can't just keep her thoughts to herself and go on and pretend as if nothing has changed inside of her. It's simply not possible.

This is not as simple as - oh, it's not a SIN to wear dresses, so just wear dresses and don't worry about it. The Pentecostal standard thing involves an entire *culture*. A mindset. A way of thinking. When you no longer believe in that culture, on the inside, you suddenly feel like an outsider. You don't fit in anymore. Even though you may look the same on the outside, on the inside you're full of turmoil and unrest. When you go to the store and someone looks at you and says - 'Oh, you're Pentecostal' - and they assume you believe a certain way... because that is what your appearance says to them. And you want to scream because you feel like such a fraud.

I'm sure that sounds melodramatic, but if you've lived through it, you know that it doesn't even scratch the surface of the turmoil your mind goes through.

Mrsnt most definitely does NOT need to run out and cut her hair and buy pants. She needs to proceed with great caution. She and her husband will need to work these things out together, and it will take time. Prayer, prayer, prayer and more prayer needs to be involved.

But it's really not a matter of - 'oh, just submit.' It goes so much deeper than that.