[AreYouReady?]

Titus2Woman,

My husband and I kept looking for some of these same things you posted for many years in UPCI Churches. After attending three different UPC Churches, we realized that Albert Einstein's definition of insanity is true, that is: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

(I recognize that in some cases for some people, going to a different church makes all the difference in the world. Ask Angela Driver.)

For our family, each church was a replica of the former church with slight differences in attitude and love (or lack thereof...except for the people they wanted to love). Some pastors tell the congregation at the beginning of services to get out of their pews and shake their neighbor's hand. They look like robots doing what they were told to do. We found ourselves feeling like robots also. I do not want to die in a system like this... feeling and acting like a robot, having little love because of a collective attitude about church rules and fear that we may have broken some of them because of our convictions about any particular issue of their standards.

We feel that the love of God should emanate from our hearts because of the joy of the Holy Ghost is living there. Put a bushel over a lit candle...you can't share the light and nobody sees it. It will eventually go out.

My husband is not a "man ordained" preacher, yet he has been studying the Bible for over 30 years. It's in his heart, mind and soul. He meditates on Scripture and asks for understanding and meaning. He ministers to people one on one. The UPCI controls it's ministers on what they may say and do. This is evident by the compelling of them to sign their yearly oath. (which is not a biblical principle) We say that any man or woman who loves God and His Word do not need to be told what to do because that supersedes what the Holy Ghost may teach us. Any sincere person who lives for God will listen to the Holy Ghost and change their lives accordingly. Our fear should be what the Lord, our God thinks of us, not fear of our reputation we may have in the organized church system. It is possible to *backslide* right on a pentecostal pew. I've seen it happen too many times to people who have been attending all their life. I call it a "frozen backslide". Funny term huh? It seems as though they are frozen in time...no love or concern for anybody but their own...hair piled on top of their heads (for women only) and dresses at the right length. But when you try to be friendly, they look at you with that sour look as if to say "Why are you talking to me?" Be gone! If it wasn't so sad, it would be funny. I don't want to end up being like that just to stay in a church system.

That being said, I must say that you and your husband must follow what you feel the Holy Spirit is guiding you to do. Examine yourselves fully to see if you are committed enough in your spirits to walk with Christ everyday without the anchor of a man-made organized church system. Be prepared to be in "the wilderness" with Christ for a time. The wilderness walk really is not so bad because for us, it was a time for getting up on our feet and walking like a toddler by ourselves. It is time spent consecrating and reconsecrating our lives to God, just Him and us. A time to regain fellowship with Christ and His principles and good news of the Gospels.

It may be harder for you since you were so active and had much support from the other people. But for us, we walked with God alone while in the UPC organized church system anyway. So it wasn't much difference when we left it.

There are many things you can do to find like-minded fellowship. One man put an ad in the local newspaper seeking people who believed in early-church principles for weekly gatherings for Bible study and worship. Home churches allows for everybody's input in the Bible studies. It's really an awesome thing to be able to exhort and uplift others and they reciprocate to you in a meeting.

You may also have to travel some to other cities or areas from time to time and visit a body of believers for fellowship.

All in all, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, we must love Christ enough in whatever setting we find ourselves to be living in, to walk with Him regardless of what other people think or do. If you persevere walking with Christ, everyday taking up your cross and following Him, God will reward you beyond your wildest dreams.

I never forget what one old preacher man once said about living for God: "I want to live close enough to the Post Office to get my own mail". That should be food for thought for every born-again Holy Ghost filled believer.