The Joke Thread
 

The trouble with having an open mind is that people keep coming along sticking things into it.

This really happened in Sunday School yesterday. We were having a lesson on having "A Clean Heart" The one teaching the object lesson had gone to the butcher shop and purchased a real calves' heart. She took it home and froze it. She brought it for the lesson and passed it around so they could get an idea of what a real cold heart felt like. One of the girls about 8 yrs old looked at it and felt it. Her eyes got real big and she said, "What did you have to do, kill somebody"? It was all the teacher could do not to laugh. We got a real good chuckle afterwards.

:heeheehee

Red Neck Fridge!
 

RED NECK FRIDGE!
http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w...g?t=1171405155

Cooper you need to repent and clean off the lawn man!

What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine
card?
A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and kisses!

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine's
Day?
"I find you very attractive."

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!

What did one pickle say to the other?
"You mean a great dill to me."

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because kidneys would look pretty gross!

What did one light bulb say to the other?
"I love you a whole watt!"

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses!

What did the bat say to his Valentine?
"You're fun to hang around with."

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I'm sweet on you!"

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!

What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
"I love you a ton!"

What would you get it you crossed a blonde with the God of
love?
A stupid cupid!

Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?
She didn't suit his taste!

Jesus said, "Whom do men say that I am?"

And his disciples answered and said, "Some say you are John the Baptist returned from the dead; others say Elias, or other of the old prophets."

And Jesus answered and said, "But whom do you say that I am?"

Peter answered and said, "Thou art the Logos, existing in the Father as His rationality and then, by an act of His will, being generated, in consideration of the various functions by which God is related to his creation, but only on the fact that Scripture speaks of a Father, and a Son, and a Holy Spirit, each member of the Trinity being coequal with every other member, and each acting inseparably with and interpenetrating every other member, with only an economic subordination within God, but causing no division which would make the substance no longer simple."

And Jesus answering, said, "What?"