Difficult Relatives
 

Last month, our nephew was on the verge of being homeless and making hints our way. I don't know where he is or what he is doing now. Last week, my brother became homeless and a hoopla with my parents ensued. All of us are on the same page with it....he needs to quit drinking and no one is helping him. And then, a couple of days ago, my brother-in law wrote wanting a 3 hour ride one way to a "job"....he is homeless on a pretty regular basis and might be now. We usually don't do much of anything for any of these three but it sure gets to be a drain. I wonder what it would be like to have normal brothers, brothers-in-law. I am just left shaking my head sometimes.

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

Well, they say trouble comes in "three's"... so, maybe your troubles are done for a while... ;)

Seriously, I feel your pain. I have family members with issues as well, not exactly the same as yours though, but it is so sad because of the hurt that it causes within families because of one person's bad choices.

I will be continuing to pray for you and your family!

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

hmm...praying God's will for you here, ILG. I was one of those guys, so i am conflicted here...

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

Sorry for the stressful situation with your relatives, ILG. Praying for you and your family.

On a lighter note, my daughter was so impressed by a homeless person's ingenuity, that she gave him some money.

Most of the homeless in her city stand around holding various signs.

This particular homeless man was standing at the corner holding up his arms with NO sign. She thought that was so clever, she decided he needed to get paid for that. :toofunny

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

Thanks, KBTW, it gets very draining.

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

So elaborate. If we helped these guys we would be helping....and helping....and helping....pretty soon we would be homeless ourselves.

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

one of the least helpful things you can do for someone who is hurting themselves is to "help them"

it aint help. Its enabling. I have a cousin who his 50 and is a completely drug/alcohol addicted drain on society. He needs to go to jail so he can be saved.

when he was young and started in the wrong direction family members kept getting him out of trouble and keeping him from having to deal with the results of his behavior.

now he is utterly useless.

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

Ya, i'd agree that that is the worst thing one may do. I have learned that most people become that way by outside forces, societal pressures. It's no secret that we have a sick society. We overindulge our children (and our pets, and...), with the best of intentions, trying our best to 'shield' them from the world, and then wonder why they can't function in the world. It's some failure of "Raise a child up in the way he should go..." obviously, but i doubt i would do any better lol. I can say that I was over-indulged as a kid; thought of chores as 'punishment,' etc...

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

It's called "tough love", and it is indeed extremely tough. It is hard on families to just let their loved ones disintegrate, hurting themselves, and others. Sometimes tough love works, sometimes it doesn't. We must be brave enough to put them in the hands of the Lord. I do think that jail time can help someone in this kind of situation, but, it can also make them much worse, and more dangerous. We have a nephew in this situation, jail time has caused him to become more hard, more dangerous, and more of a threat to the general public. He should be locked up, and the key thrown away, instead, he is getting out in October :(

Re: Difficult Relatives
 

Yes, I agree that it is enabling. I think this is what the bible is talking about when it says:

To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

There comes a time, when you have done everything you can....and you have to let go...and trust God. The person you love could even die....but there is really nothing you can do. You really have to save your self from the situation(s). I don't think you have to cut yourself off completely, just do what you are comfortable with.

My brother, I hadn't seen in about 2 years....didn't even know where he was living and I asked my Mom (who has had the only contact) and I went to visit him for a couple hours. Then he became homeless again more recently. My mom, bless her heart, stood up to him and although she had a really hard time seems to be stronger now.

As for my BIL, his Mom, my MIL refuses to have any contact for her own sanity. My husband has marginal contact. He pretty much only hears from him when he wants something and my husband told him so.

The nephew, son of the BIL, is starting the same route, but I feel somewhat sorry for him as he was thrown around from place to place all his life. Poor kid. But I try not to get too involved in that either....but it's hard.

I have my hands full with my son, who we believe to have aspergers. Give me a break, world.